Ideas and experiences in trying to help make online discussions more beneficial for everyone

[Niatero]

This topic came up in the thread Marketability of Your Religion Based On Your RF Contributions, and I wanted to have a new thread specifically for people to share their ideas and experiences. I'll list some ideas from the other thread. (edited to add the following) These ideas are not all mine. I wasn't the only one posting ideas. (end edit)
- Try to be fair and balanced.
- Try to express myself well enough for readers to be inspired to investigate and think for themselves.
- Try to be balanced, non-aggressive and inclusive.
- Try to keep my feelings and intentions towards everyone friendly, and resist unfriendly impulses, post friendly comments and questions, resist temptations to use other people's posts only as platforms for promoting my own views.
- Avoid the sub-forums titled with 'debates.'
- Try to be cheerful.
- Don't try breaking through people's defenses.
- Don't respond in any way at all to anything that looks like heckling. (unless it looks like it's all in good fun)
- Apologize for unfriendly posts.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Do. Or do not.
There is no "try."

 

[Heyo]

This topic came up in the thread Marketability of Your Religion Based On Your RF Contributions, and I wanted to have a new thread specifically for people to share their ideas and experiences. I'll list some ideas from the other thread.
- Try to be fair and balanced.
- Try to express myself well enough for readers to be inspired to investigate and think for themselves.
- Try to be balanced, non-aggressive and inclusive.
- Try to keep my feelings and intentions towards everyone friendly, and resist unfriendly impulses, post friendly comments and questions, resist temptations to use other people's posts only as platforms for promoting my own views.
- Avoid the sub-forums titled with 'debates.'
- Try to be cheerful.
- Don't try breaking through people's defenses.
- Don't respond in any way at all to anything that looks like heckling. (unless it looks like it's all in good fun)
- Apologize for unfriendly posts.

- hold hands and sing Kumbayah
Some of your ideas are very good, and I try to follow them. Others are just naïve.
Nothing is gained in an environment where nothing challenges your opinions. When they are wrong, nobody will tell you, so you'll hold on to them. I want people to tell me when I'm talking bull****, and I don't mind them being clear and precise.
And I hold mostly to the Golden Rule when posting, less to the Platinum Rule.
I consider it condescending or at least indifferent to not correct someone who has wrong information.

To add to your list in that spirit, I propose:
- when in doubt, be truthful instead of courteous
- cite facts and cite the sources
- when shown to be wrong, admit it and go on
- don't be condescending by holding back, your interlocutor deserves your best responses, when they are wrong, tell them, and show them
- don't feed the trolls

 

[Niatero]

Some of your ideas are very good, and I try to follow them.

Some of them are not mine. (not saying which ones ) I wasn't the only one posting ideas.

To add to your list in that spirit, I propose:
- when in doubt, be truthful instead of courteous
- cite facts and cite the sources
- when shown to be wrong, admit it and go on
- don't be condescending by holding back, your interlocutor deserves your best responses, when they are wrong, tell them, and show them
- don't feed the trolls

Thanks.

 

[Heyo]

Some of them are not mine. (not saying which ones ) I wasn't the only one posting ideas.

Thanks.

I wasn't sure you'd take it as "heckling", but I had to say it. Glad we are still talking.

 

[Niatero]

I wasn't sure you'd take it as "heckling", but I had to say it. Glad we are still talking.

It didn't look like heckling to me, and even if it did, I would only have ignored that post, not all of your posts.

 

[Belacqua]

This topic came up in the thread Marketability of Your Religion Based On Your RF Contributions, and I wanted to have a new thread specifically for people to share their ideas and experiences. I'll list some ideas from the other thread. (edited to add the following) These ideas are not all mine. I wasn't the only one posting ideas. (end edit)
- Try to be fair and balanced.
- Try to express myself well enough for readers to be inspired to investigate and think for themselves.
- Try to be balanced, non-aggressive and inclusive.
- Try to keep my feelings and intentions towards everyone friendly, and resist unfriendly impulses, post friendly comments and questions, resist temptations to use other people's posts only as platforms for promoting my own views.
- Avoid the sub-forums titled with 'debates.'
- Try to be cheerful.
- Don't try breaking through people's defenses.
- Don't respond in any way at all to anything that looks like heckling. (unless it looks like it's all in good fun)
- Apologize for unfriendly posts.

The late Daniel Dennett wrote four rules that I like a lot. Maybe not the letter every time, but certainly the spirit.

Here they are:

1. Attempt to re-express your target’s position so clearly, vividly and fairly that your target says: “Thanks, I wish I’d thought of putting it that way.”
2. List any points of agreement (especially if they are not matters of general or widespread agreement).
3. Mention anything you have learned from your target.
4. Only then are you permitted to say so much as a word of rebuttal or criticism.

The first one seems most important to me. I don't know how many times people have replied to me with a wildly distorted version of what I've been saying. Whether it's poor comprehension, or an intentional attempt to straw man me, it shuts down serious discussion.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Remember that there is a real person on the other end of your screen and that they are much more than the words they have posted or the beliefs expressed therein.

 

[Niatero]

The late Daniel Dennett wrote four rules that I like a lot. Maybe not the letter every time, but certainly the spirit.

Here they are:


The first one seems most important to me. I don't know how many times people have replied to me with a wildly distorted version of what I've been saying. Whether it's poor comprehension, or an intentional attempt to straw man me, it shuts down serious discussion.

I like that, except for calling the conversation partner the "target."

 

[Belacqua]

I like that, except for calling the conversation partner the "target."

Ooh, yeah, I didn't notice that. A bit dehumanizing.

 

[Niatero]

Ooh, yeah, I didn't notice that. A bit dehumanizing.

And evangelistic.

 

[Quintessence]

I used to approach things this way. I don't really, anymore. Instead:

Be who you are. Others will be who they are. Understand the inevitability of clashes and choruses that result. Move on.

 

[Mock Turtle]

I like that, except for calling the conversation partner the "target."

Perhaps meant target audience, so not too bad?