Kidney donation motives

[VoidCat]

I've been discussing my motives with someone on why I've been wanting to donate a kidney. I have not made up my mind on if i will or not. But it'd help to discuss in depth my motives in a thread. It'll help me sort my thoughts. So here are some...

*it'll extend a life and vastly improve a person's quality of life for me to give them my kidney. This is a huge motive. I can't stress how big of a motive.
*I find medical stuff fascinating and as a person who worships a goddess of health it is a big deal to improve someone else's.
*I like the feeling of helping others
*there's an organ shortage
*Im already an organ donor on my license. But living donation has benefits donation after death dont have.
*if i go into kidney failure I'll then be at the top of the list for a transplant.
*it's not as risky as you might think. There is a lot of risk dont get me wrong. A lot. But you can live a long healthy life with one kidney. There's a very low chance of death only like .05% if i recall correctly(I dont feel like looking up the exact stat right now but can if asked. Everywhere ive read tho it's been low the death rate)
*I got rejected to donate bone marrow cuz I am on ssi and have depression. I dont plan on staying on ssi but it was a huge blow for me to get rejected i was looking very much forward to it. I don't know why exactly but something in me was very very much willing to go through with it even if it meant getting drilled in the hip. It was almost like grief the disappointment was. This is somewhat a con- I might not be able to handle if i got rejected from donating a kidney. But it's also a plus- I know I'd be ok donating an organ i already was willing to with bone marrow. I already was willing to risk a ton to save a life. I knew the risks and was still willing. I know my feelings would be similar trying to donate a kidney.
* I've heard stories of folk needing a kidney. It's a huge deal. I'd love to help. Kidney failure...its rough.
*Maybe a little guilt even if I dont want to acknowledge that as a motive. it's very small of an impact if it's there. But i have to be honest- it may be a small motive and it's not a good one. You never want to give up an organ over guilt. But I did just get rejected from bone marrow donation. Whether I like it or not there may be some feelings i havent processed from that. All the more reason to wait and not make a decision now.
*Dialysis sucks.
*it's hell to get a transplant. They can go through it I can go through a little bit of pain


Some cons...
*again could be ineligible to donate. That'll affect my emotions and possibly mental health
* someone in my family may later need a kidney
*Diabetes runs in my family. That can affect the kidneys.
*its a toll on mental health. Lots of emotions not all are good.
*the person i donate to their body might reject the kidney
*I could die even if the risk is small.
*some folk do get short term physical consequences from it.
*wont be able to work while recovering.
*it's a toll on physical health at least short term. Havent yet looked too far into long term other then it doesn't decrease quality of life. I already get sick constantly due to working at daycare. I dont know if my physical health would be up to it.
*it's painful



These are just some of my thoughts. Please ask questions if you have any or think any would help me think. Ask anything you think I should consider. Write out stuff you think I should keep in mind while i think. I'm trying to sort my thoughts out on this thread. This is a big decision ill take at least a year to think on it.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

My concern for you is still decades down the road what if you end up needing it?

 

[VoidCat]

My concern for you is still decades down the road what if you end up needing it?

That is a good concern. After all now if i lost one I'd still have the other left. My thoughts are this...thats a maybe. I might need the kidney. But very likely I'd be just fine without it. The question is how likely would it be that id have needed the extra kidney? The answer is there is no signifactant decrease in the life expectancy of someone who donated a kidney. There is not increase in kidney failure for those who donate. That means if i was going to get kidney failure it wouldve happened anyway regardless with one kidney or two. Im not sure i think oftentimes when one kidney is affected with kidney failure both are. I'd have to look it up to be sure but i dont think its common for only one kidney to get kidney failure. I'd have to Google it as i don't know. I do know from my understanding donating a kidney puts you at the top of the list if you lose the remaining kidney for kidney transplant from my understanding.

 

[VoidCat]

. Im not sure i think oftentimes when one kidney is affected with kidney failure both are. I'd have to look it up to be sure but i dont think its common for only one kidney to get kidney failure. I'd have to Google it as i don't know. I do know from my understanding donating a kidney puts you at the top of the list if you lose the remaining kidney for kidney transplant from my understanding.

@Shadow Wolf I know it's possible for one kidney only to get kidney failure. But i have yet to look up the chances of only one failing compared to both failing

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I've been discussing my motives with someone on why I've been wanting to donate a kidney. I have not made up my mind on if i will or not. But it'd help to discuss in depth my motives in a thread. It'll help me sort my thoughts. So here are some...

*it'll extend a life and vastly improve a person's quality of life for me to give them my kidney. This is a huge motive. I can't stress how big of a motive.
*I find medical stuff fascinating and as a person who worships a goddess of health it is a big deal to improve someone else's.
*I like the feeling of helping others
*there's an organ shortage
*Im already an organ donor on my license. But living donation has benefits donation after death dont have.
*if i go into kidney failure I'll then be at the top of the list for a transplant.
*it's not as risky as you might think. There is a lot of risk dont get me wrong. A lot. But you can live a long healthy life with one kidney. There's a very low chance of death only like .05% if i recall correctly(I dont feel like looking up the exact stat right now but can if asked. Everywhere ive read tho it's been low the death rate)
*I got rejected to donate bone marrow cuz I am on ssi and have depression. I dont plan on staying on ssi but it was a huge blow for me to get rejected i was looking very much forward to it. I don't know why exactly but something in me was very very much willing to go through with it even if it meant getting drilled in the hip. It was almost like grief the disappointment was. This is somewhat a con- I might not be able to handle if i got rejected from donating a kidney. But it's also a plus- I know I'd be ok donating an organ i already was willing to with bone marrow. I already was willing to risk a ton to save a life. I knew the risks and was still willing. I know my feelings would be similar trying to donate a kidney.
* I've heard stories of folk needing a kidney. It's a huge deal. I'd love to help. Kidney failure...its rough.
*Maybe a little guilt even if I dont want to acknowledge that as a motive. it's very small of an impact if it's there. But i have to be honest- it may be a small motive and it's not a good one. You never want to give up an organ over guilt. But I did just get rejected from bone marrow donation. Whether I like it or not there may be some feelings i havent processed from that. All the more reason to wait and not make a decision now.
*Dialysis sucks.
*it's hell to get a transplant. They can go through it I can go through a little bit of pain


Some cons...
*again could be ineligible to donate. That'll affect my emotions and possibly mental health
* someone in my family may later need a kidney
*Diabetes runs in my family. That can affect the kidneys.
*its a toll on mental health. Lots of emotions not all are good.
*the person i donate to their body might reject the kidney
*I could die even if the risk is small.
*some folk do get short term physical consequences from it.
*wont be able to work while recovering.
*it's a toll on physical health at least short term. Havent yet looked too far into long term other then it doesn't decrease quality of life. I already get sick constantly due to working at daycare. I dont know if my physical health would be up to it.
*it's painful



These are just some of my thoughts. Please ask questions if you have any or think any would help me think. Ask anything you think I should consider. Write out stuff you think I should keep in mind while i think. I'm trying to sort my thoughts out on this thread. This is a big decision ill take at least a year to think on it.

Like you mentioned, it sounds like a lot of it has come up from guilt from being rejected from the bone marrow donation.

It seems a lot of the pros that you've listed can be made into one: You want to help somebody through a selfless act. But, in reality, there is pain and suffering everywhere that one kidney will not suffice. It could save a life, it could make somebody happier. It could do a lot of great things, but it could also be rejected by the patient, it could go to someone who turns out to be ungrateful in the end, it could go to someone whose life will end up going to hell anyways even after the transplant. There's no guarantee that this will result in happiness for anyone involved, and even if it did, in the grand scheme of things there is still much more pain in the world that needs to be acknowledged than just people who have kidney failure.

We already have people donating organs postmortem, and the demand may be more than the supply, but that's not your responsibility, and quite frankly your one kidney will not make a difference to the demand issue.

It is not worth donating an organ you might need yet, when you don't know where it's going to.

That's just my opinion.

 

[VoidCat]

Like you mentioned, it sounds like a lot of it has come up from guilt from being rejected from the bone marrow donation.

It seems a lot of the pros that you've listed can be made into one: You want to help somebody through a selfless act. But, in reality, there is pain and suffering everywhere that one kidney will not suffice. It could save a life, it could make somebody happier. It could do a lot of great things, but it could also be rejected by the patient, it could go to someone who turns out to be ungrateful in the end, it could go to someone whose life will end up going to hell anyways even after the transplant. There's no guarantee that this will result in happiness for anyone involved, and even if it did, in the grand scheme of things there is still much more pain in the world that needs to be acknowledged than just people who have kidney failure.

We already have people donating organs postmortem, and the demand may be more than the supply, but that's not your responsibility, and quite frankly your one kidney will not make a difference to the demand issue.

It is not worth donating an organ you might need yet, when you don't know where it's going to.

That's just my opinion.

Interestingly study i read states there's an increase in quality of life in donors after donation

Europe PMC

Europe PMC is an archive of life sciences journal literature.

europepmc.org

. The overall mortality in our series was zero. Nationally, donor mortality has been estimated to be 0.03% (5). Our overall complication rate was 8.2% with only 2 (0.2%) complications considered to be major (16). Complications were associated with male sex, body weight > or = 100 kg, and inadvertent entry into the pleura during the donor operation. Most of our donors were discharged from the hospital in < 5 days. Risk factors for a longer hospital stay were age 50 or older and an operative time of 4 hours or more. The average donor quality of life after donation, as measured by the SF-36, was better than that of the general US population. This finding persisted for years after donation. The vast majority of our donors found the experience to be very rewarding and would readily donate again if it were possible. However, 4% were dissatisfied and regretted their decision to donate a kidney; these were most likely to be donors other than a first-degree relative and donors whose recipient died within the first posttransplant year. Living donation of kidneys appears to be relatively safe, with very few physical and psychologic complications. It may even improve the donor's quality of life. Living donors are an underutilized source of kidneys. We continue to advocate and encourage living kidney donation

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Interestingly study i read states there's an increase in quality of life in donors after donation

Europe PMC

Europe PMC is an archive of life sciences journal literature.

europepmc.org

You seem to have skipped over the other points I made.

 

[VoidCat]

You seem to have skipped over the other points I made.

I haven't. I was just adding that info. It's bedtime for me i didnt feel like writing more then that

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Like you mentioned, it sounds like a lot of it has come up from guilt from being rejected from the bone marrow donation.

It seems a lot of the pros that you've listed can be made into one: You want to help somebody through a selfless act. But, in reality, there is pain and suffering everywhere that one kidney will not suffice. It could save a life, it could make somebody happier. It could do a lot of great things, but it could also be rejected by the patient, it could go to someone who turns out to be ungrateful in the end, it could go to someone whose life will end up going to hell anyways even after the transplant. There's no guarantee that this will result in happiness for anyone involved, and even if it did, in the grand scheme of things there is still much more pain in the world that needs to be acknowledged than just people who have kidney failure.

We already have people donating organs postmortem, and the demand may be more than the supply, but that's not your responsibility, and quite frankly your one kidney will not make a difference to the demand issue.

It is not worth donating an organ you might need yet, when you don't know where it's going to.

That's just my opinion.

Reminds me of a story of a boy walking on a beach that was covered with starfish that got trappen when the tide went down. Someone saw the boy throwing the starfish back inthe water and asked why, when there are so many and he can't save them all. The acknowledged the futility of trying to save them all, but pointed out he justmadeabig difference to the one he just got into the water.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Reminds me of a story of a boy walking on a beach that was covered with starfish that got trappen when the tide went down. Someone saw the boy throwing the starfish back inthe water and asked why, when there are so many and he can't save them all. The acknowledged the futility of trying to save them all, but pointed out he justmadeabig difference to the one he just got into the water.

That's not the same thing.

 

[VoidCat]

you mentioned, it sounds like a lot of it has come up from guilt from being rejected from the bone marrow donation.

I don't think so. I think it's part of it but not a very big part. I've been wanted to donate blood and bone marrow long before wanting to donate a kidney. My reasons for wanting to donate a kidney are similar to someone wanting to donate bone marrow and blood..

We already have people donating organs postmortem, and the demand may be more than the supply, but that's not your responsibility, and quite frankly your one kidney will not make a difference to the demand issue.

Not with that attitude. That's probably part of why folk dont want to donate. They think it's a bigger risk then it is (and yes I know it's risky but it's not as risky as many folk have been making it out from what ive gathered) and they don't think it'll make a difference. Im not saying folk should donate a kidney. But how much do you actually know about kidney donation? Have you talked to someone who has or read up on the risks in detail? Or the benefits to both the donor and recipient? Like i pointed out to the donor it can increase quality of life and many donors do state they'd do it again. Why is that? Im not entirely sure. I may want to talk to some folk who have donated to be sure. By donating then sharing your story you could get others to donate. This could make a difference in multiple lives not just one.

It is not worth donating an organ you might need yet, when you don't know where it's going to.

Firstly I actually may know. Many kidney donors and folk who need kidneys find each other through various methods. A pair exchange program is one example. You and a person with kidney failure get tested. See if you a match. If you are great. If not then you are paired with that person and then the docs and you start looking for another person that is a match but the person who was going to donate to them isnt but is to your person. Then there is a swap: both donors give a kidney to the person who is a match. This is common. Its also common for folk to look for someone to donate to in addition for the hospital to.


Also bottom line: that's not up for you to decide if it's worth it to me or not. That's up for me to figure out and I plan on making a very informed decision. Im actually reading up on kidney donation instead of making assumptions on how it works. What the risks actually are versus what folk think they are. So far there's a low mortality rate, most kidney donors live long lives, there is a benefit to the the donor as many wish they could do it again, should you get kidney failure you higher on the list to get a transplant list etc. There seems to me some cons...i mean it is surgery after all. But there's also pros too. It's an individual choice and i can see why one wouldn't make it. I at least want my choice to be informed not based off folk just telling me i shouldnt but based off what actually happens when you give a kidney.

Reminds me of a story of a boy walking on a beach that was covered with starfish that got trappen when the tide went down. Someone saw the boy throwing the starfish back inthe water and asked why, when there are so many and he can't save them all. The acknowledged the futility of trying to save them all, but pointed out he justmadeabig difference to the one he just got into the water.

That popped in my mind too.

That's not the same thing.

Is it not? Just donating a kidney is riskier then putting a starfish in the water.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I don't think so. I think it's part of it but not a very big part. I've been wanted to donate blood and bone marrow long before wanting to donate a kidney. My reasons for wanting to donate a kidney are similar to someone wanting to donate bone marrow and blood..



Not with that attitude. That's probably part of why folk dont want to donate. They think it's a bigger risk then it is (and yes I know it's risky but it's not as risky as many folk have been making it out from what ive gathered) and they don't think it'll make a difference. Im not saying folk should donate a kidney. But how much do you actually know about kidney donation? Have you talked to someone who has or read up on the risks in detail? Or the benefits to both the donor and recipient? Like i pointed out to the donor it can increase quality of life and many donors do state they'd do it again. Why is that? Im not entirely sure. I may want to talk to some folk who have donated to be sure. By donating then sharing your story you could get others to donate. This could make a difference in multiple lives not just one.

Firstly I actually may know. Many kidney donors and folk who need kidneys find each other through various methods. A pair exchange program is one example. You and a person with kidney failure get tested. See if you a match. If you are great. If not then you are paired with that person and then the docs and you start looking for another person that is a match but the person who was going to donate to them isnt but is to your person. Then there is a swap: both donors give a kidney to the person who is a match. This is common. Its also common for folk to look for someone to donate to in addition for the hospital to.


Also bottom line: that's not up for you to decide if it's worth it to me or not. That's up for me to figure out and I plan on making a very informed decision. Im actually reading up on kidney donation instead of making assumptions on how it works. What the risks actually are versus what folk think they are. So far there's a low mortality rate, most kidney donors live long lives, there is a benefit to the the donor as many wish they could do it again, should you get kidney failure you higher on the list to get a transplant list etc. There seems to me some cons...i mean it is surgery after all. But there's also pros too. It's an individual choice and i can see why one wouldn't make it. I at least want my choice to be informed not based off folk just telling me i shouldnt but based off what actually happens when you give a kidney.


That popped in my mind too.


Is it not? Just donating a kidney is riskier then putting a starfish in the water.

Ultimately it is your decision. I was not trying to tell you what to do, I was only offering my perspective.

 

[VoidCat]

Ultimately it is your decision. I was not trying to tell you what to do, I was only offering my perspective.

Understood. Im sorry if i come across as harsh i knew you were only offering your perspective but a lot of folk in real life and off rf have been pushing me to not do it and seem to be ignoring my own feelings in the matter and im a bit fed up with it. It's like they think they can decide for me and they really be pushing me as hard as they can. I hope my frustration at them did not rub out on you.

 

[Revoltingest]

@VoidCat, some advice for consideration....
You're young, & your life is changing greatly.
I recommend waiting a few years before making
such a big irreversible decision.

 

[VoidCat]

@VoidCat, some advice for consideration....
You're young, & your life is changing greatly.
I recommend waiting a few years before making
such a big irreversible decision.

This is good advice. There is a reason I'm taking at least a year to think on it and it could even be longer thinking on it.

 

[VoidCat]

Understood. Im sorry if i come across as harsh i knew you were only offering your perspective but a lot of folk in real life and off rf have been pushing me to not do it and seem to be ignoring my own feelings in the matter and im a bit fed up with it. It's like they think they can decide for me and they really be pushing me as hard as they can. I hope my frustration at them did not rub out on you.

@The Sum of Awe

I'd be just as frustrated with folk if they were pushing me to donate. No one is but lots are pushing me not to
Im trying to reel back my frustration at those pushing me not to so that when folk who are only trying to give me valid criticism or advice about why they wouldnt do it I can take it.

 

[Kathryn]

Can you donate blood, or plasma, or platelets?

 

[Debater Slayer]

On reading the thread title, I thought you'd mention buying an iPhone in the OP! I'm glad to see otherwise.

 

[VoidCat]

Can you donate blood, or plasma, or platelets?

Too light weight im only 100 pounds. Would totally if i could.

 

[Debater Slayer]

@VoidCat, some advice for consideration....
You're young, & your life is changing greatly.
I recommend waiting a few years before making
such a big irreversible decision.

I fully agree with this. You can try to help others in many other ways in the meantime.