Blayze, on Friday, I proudly mailed to you and Justyce, rolled up in a protective, medium-length cardboard postal tube, my most recent artistic breakthrough --
A 14" long stick-figure drawing of my penis, as loosely magnified by a factor of 3.
My dear, the simple, raw, but poignant, title of the piece is "Full Thrust Forward".
I am convinced that, with this single work, Blayze, I have finally come into my own as a contemporary master.
Perhaps you will note that your copy is the 27th of 200 individually signed, high-quality reproductions. "27" is a iron-willed, edgy number of great significance and fascination to my uncle, who was a published numerologist.
I rendered this, my most magnificent stick-figure drawing ever, using genuine, ultra-black, "100 year fade-resistant", guaranteed light-fast ink on artist quality, 80 lbs, acid-neutralized paper -- paper that was hand-crafted by a Native American tribe living in the Amazon Basin, employing rain forest materials.