Ten years and two months ago, a friend decided to play a dirty trick on me.
His mother(whom he lived with) had a house guest; an abandoned kid she'd helped along; he'd grown up and was back in the state and stopped by her house to stay hello(and maybe crash on the couch for a night or two?) The first night, they were shocked to see him again, so I didn't hear much from him then. The next night, my friend(who was across the country) called and told me how happy he was to see the old neighborhood kid. And then he came in(they'd agreed he could use the couch temporarily) and tripped over his feet and fell on the floor. The wheels in his head started turning.
"You know, this guy's pretty clumsy. Don't you like that?"
I did. But I told him forget it. I didn't have time or energy for dating right then.
"He's a few years younger than you. I know you won't date anyone unless they're younger than you."
True again. But, I told him, he didn't pass the test. I wanted young, dumb, and clumsy. He'd only met two of the three requirements.
"Well, here, you see for yourself if he's dumb." My friend got a mischievous tone in his voice. "Wanna see who I'm talking to?" My heart dropped. "Don't you show him that damned picture." There happened to be one good picture of me floating around at the time that made me look a bit more...flirtatious than I really was. We kept it around for its silly factor(I'm not flirtatious, even slightly). Well, he did show him. And then my friend wasn't on the phone anymore, and I had some slobbering idiot making ridiculous passes at me. And I ripped on him, one joke after another. My inner comedian came out. I had friends on both lines laughing. He said he'd call back the next night. Obviously, he liked a joke at his expense.
Ten years and a month ago, after much begging an pleading from his end, I drove across the country to meet him. I went to his job(which he pretty much lived at). He wasn't wearing shoes. I grabbed him and kissed him. We got wasted(he worked at a bar). I handle my booze well. He didn't. He told me he was going to marry me after an hour or two. Then he shied away, realizing I'm not the kind of Libra you boss around. "Well, if its okay with you" he added. He proposed twice more that night, with the third being in front of friends and family.
A month after that, I married him.
Today is our ten year anniversary. Its been a real trip. The beginning was perhaps the most explosive, for positive and negative. We were almost strangers. But hell, it was fun. In many ways, we were/are opposites, and that took a little hammering out, too. The fights were loud, but after about the third month we had figured out what the other wouldn't tolerate, and if we were going to remain a couple, we'd have to adjust, and adjust we did. Strangely, after that experimental period, we got along great. He was the beautiful shiny Leo, and I was the feisty dominant Libra and things worked out great.
And we kept going. We both have strengths and weaknesses. Due to the neglect/abuse he faced as a kid, he doesn't always know what to do with our challenging kids. He knows what NOT to do, thankfully, but I handle most of the child care. And that's okay. On the other hand, I grew up in a house where every thing was paid to be done. My parent's didn't have any hands on skills, really. That's fine and dandy, but for most of our marriage, we were dirt poor and couldn't afford to hire stuff out. So he did most of the home maintenance. And that's okay. (My uncle calls this 'distribution of labor'.) We each have skills and strengths that the other may not possess.
Sometimes I complain about his airheadedness regarding the kids(for the love of Pete, did you just let Ares out the front door?). Sometimes he complains about my lackadaisical manner of self storage(must you use the couch as your personal newsstand?). But it is what it is. I crack jokes. He smirks. He gets excited. I follow along. We operate a lot different than most couples, but we're both weird, and what works for most doesn't work for us. We're older, we're tired, but we still love each other(even if we're convinced the other is crazy).
Here's hoping for another ten.
His mother(whom he lived with) had a house guest; an abandoned kid she'd helped along; he'd grown up and was back in the state and stopped by her house to stay hello(and maybe crash on the couch for a night or two?) The first night, they were shocked to see him again, so I didn't hear much from him then. The next night, my friend(who was across the country) called and told me how happy he was to see the old neighborhood kid. And then he came in(they'd agreed he could use the couch temporarily) and tripped over his feet and fell on the floor. The wheels in his head started turning.
"You know, this guy's pretty clumsy. Don't you like that?"
I did. But I told him forget it. I didn't have time or energy for dating right then.
"He's a few years younger than you. I know you won't date anyone unless they're younger than you."
True again. But, I told him, he didn't pass the test. I wanted young, dumb, and clumsy. He'd only met two of the three requirements.
"Well, here, you see for yourself if he's dumb." My friend got a mischievous tone in his voice. "Wanna see who I'm talking to?" My heart dropped. "Don't you show him that damned picture." There happened to be one good picture of me floating around at the time that made me look a bit more...flirtatious than I really was. We kept it around for its silly factor(I'm not flirtatious, even slightly). Well, he did show him. And then my friend wasn't on the phone anymore, and I had some slobbering idiot making ridiculous passes at me. And I ripped on him, one joke after another. My inner comedian came out. I had friends on both lines laughing. He said he'd call back the next night. Obviously, he liked a joke at his expense.
Ten years and a month ago, after much begging an pleading from his end, I drove across the country to meet him. I went to his job(which he pretty much lived at). He wasn't wearing shoes. I grabbed him and kissed him. We got wasted(he worked at a bar). I handle my booze well. He didn't. He told me he was going to marry me after an hour or two. Then he shied away, realizing I'm not the kind of Libra you boss around. "Well, if its okay with you" he added. He proposed twice more that night, with the third being in front of friends and family.
A month after that, I married him.
Today is our ten year anniversary. Its been a real trip. The beginning was perhaps the most explosive, for positive and negative. We were almost strangers. But hell, it was fun. In many ways, we were/are opposites, and that took a little hammering out, too. The fights were loud, but after about the third month we had figured out what the other wouldn't tolerate, and if we were going to remain a couple, we'd have to adjust, and adjust we did. Strangely, after that experimental period, we got along great. He was the beautiful shiny Leo, and I was the feisty dominant Libra and things worked out great.
And we kept going. We both have strengths and weaknesses. Due to the neglect/abuse he faced as a kid, he doesn't always know what to do with our challenging kids. He knows what NOT to do, thankfully, but I handle most of the child care. And that's okay. On the other hand, I grew up in a house where every thing was paid to be done. My parent's didn't have any hands on skills, really. That's fine and dandy, but for most of our marriage, we were dirt poor and couldn't afford to hire stuff out. So he did most of the home maintenance. And that's okay. (My uncle calls this 'distribution of labor'.) We each have skills and strengths that the other may not possess.
Sometimes I complain about his airheadedness regarding the kids(for the love of Pete, did you just let Ares out the front door?). Sometimes he complains about my lackadaisical manner of self storage(must you use the couch as your personal newsstand?). But it is what it is. I crack jokes. He smirks. He gets excited. I follow along. We operate a lot different than most couples, but we're both weird, and what works for most doesn't work for us. We're older, we're tired, but we still love each other(even if we're convinced the other is crazy).
Here's hoping for another ten.
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