A cry for help.

[Aqualung]

but she doesn't seem to think she's making a mistake at all and I don't see that she's hurting anyone, including herself. So basically it's 'I think your acting wrong, so please change.' I don't mean this rudely at all, but in some cases perhaps it's best to let people choose their own path, make their own mistakes, find/loose their own way, and keep an open mind.

Well, that's probably why you didn't start this thread. But if someone else thinks someone is making bad chioces, they will want to help them; whether or not you think they are bad, too is really not a factor.

 

[Sunstone]

Are you saying we should try to help those who don't want our help?

 

[jonny]

Are you saying we should try to help those who don't want our help?

If you believe that their behavior is hurting them or others, of course. This is a dramatic example, but if you knew that someone was trying to commit suicide and they didn't want your help would you try to help them?

 

[Aqualung]

If you believe that their behavior is hurting them or others, of course. This is a dramatic example, but if you knew that someone was trying to commit suicide and they didn't want your help would you try to help them?

No! That would be wrong!

 

[Sunstone]

If you believe that their behavior is hurting them or others, of course. This is a dramatic example, but if you knew that someone was trying to commit suicide and they didn't want your help would you try to help them?

Suicide is indeed a dramatic example. But what about in the case of someone who is merely having sex, doesn't believe it's a problem that needs anyone's intervention, and has not asked for help dealing with it? Is it right in that case to intervene univited and unwanted?

 

[kreeden]

If you believe that their behavior is hurting them or others, of course. This is a dramatic example, but if you knew that someone was trying to commit suicide and they didn't want your help would you try to help them?

[ Aqualung replies ] No! That would be wrong!

But someone is going to have to clean up afterwards , and perhaps they would like your help ?

 

[Aqualung]

Suicide is indeed a dramatic example. But what about in the case of someone who is merely having sex, doesn't believe it's a problem that needs anyone's intervention, and has not asked for help dealing with it? Is it right in that case to intervene univited and unwanted?

What if the person trying to kill himslef doesn't think it's a problem? The fact is, if YOU believe that what a friend is doing is harmful, YOU should tell them. You shoudn't tell people about things that others think is bad (which is why you shoudn't go telling stick of joseph's friend about her behaviour), and you shoudn't go telling complete strangers that what they are doing is harmful. I think this sort of things is best left to friends, but they are friends, and if stick thinks it's harmful, he has the obligation (sort of) to tell her.

 

[michel]

I know this isnt the end of the world, and that all life is not ending because some girl has made some bad choices. My problem is, is that I want to help her and I feel sad that she is making these choices. I am sad seeing where her choices will lead her. I know this sounds just like a teenage whining but i still need some council. I am going out to serve god for 2 years by bringing people to his gospel in 8 months, but I feel like I cant even bring the ones closest to me to God.

I understand the way you feel; believe me. The points you need to remember is that all about life is a learning curve; there are times when we have to sit and watch loved ones do things that we know they will end up regretting. Experiences cannot be second hand; all you can do is to be there to pick up the pieces, if and when things go wrong.

I am aware how hard this is on you (believe me, I do) because something very similar to what you describe happened to me at your age. As it happened, it worked out that my influence was not enough. The girl went her own way, after I had helped her out. This goes back to the old expression of "You can lead a horse to water, but you cannot make him drink".

 

[Sunstone]

What if the person trying to kill himslef doesn't think it's a problem? The fact is, if YOU believe that what a friend is doing is harmful, YOU should tell them. You shoudn't tell people about things that others think is bad (which is why you shoudn't go telling stick of joseph's friend about her behaviour), and you shoudn't go telling complete strangers that what they are doing is harmful. I think this sort of things is best left to friends, but they are friends, and if stick thinks it's harmful, he has the obligation (sort of) to tell her.

Yes. I agree. There are certain obligations to friendship.

 

[flacsmada]

You are in the enfactuation stage in the relationship which everyone goes through until after about 2 years. Anyways, You have let her know how you feel hopefully, if not let her know. About where you stand and about where you see the relationship going. IF you dont know figure it out then talk to her. As for what i would do if i were you. In the long run if she doesnt meet your standards its going to hurt more if you continue to pursue this girl, so i would stop and if i had a good friend i would hope he would give me the same advice in this situation.

 

[kreeden]

Has anyone given thought to the possibilty that there was a reason for the girl to tell him that ? Surely she would have had an idea of what his reaction would be ?

 

[Aqualung]

Has anyone given thought to the possibilty that there was a reason for the girl to tell him that ? Surely she would have had an idea of what his reaction would be ?

Ooh. good point. I hadn't thought of that. Maybe she wants to be convinced that he's right, because she wants to think he is.

 

[kreeden]

Ooh. good point. I hadn't thought of that. Maybe she wants to be convinced that he's right, because she wants to think he is.

Well , I'm not going to start guessing the possible whys . I never was much good at those little test woman give . I'm sure you guys have all encountered them . They say something , just be see what your reaction will be , and God help you if it is the wrong reaction .... because , man you are on your own .

 

[Aqualung]

Well , I'm not going to start guessing the possible whys . I never was much good at those little test woman give . I'm sure you guys have all encountered them . They say something , just be see what your reaction will be , and God help you if it is the wrong reaction .... because , man you are on your own .

:biglaugh: Yeah, I've met girls like that. I try not to do that myself, though.