BucephalusBB
ABACABB
...but not the good kind. Not the one with the nice ending. No happy after all..
This is my story as a NPC. The story I never wanted, yet got regardless.
I am going to post it, because I have to. And I am coming back to this forum, because I believe this is the best place for it. I do not need advice I guess, I just need to type this.
the Setup
I am an administrator, and one day, years ago, I was behind my pc. A new girl came in and asked if I could store her passport as she was not allowed to have it in the warehouse. She didn't know I already saw her before that, on the stairs, the moment the rest of the world disappeared cause there was only her. She and I were good together and we became friends.
This might need a short chapter in between. I am a single guy, for quite some time already. I keep mostly to myself and most of that is a choice. I am still a guy though, and I fall in love easily, yet know in all cases how to break this again. She was supposed to be one of those.
Ok, now this was easy at a very early time. You see, she was happily married, so my chances were 0. This is how I work at my best. Instead we became friends. Went for dinner, went to the movies, picnicking, frisbeeing, the fun stuff. A lot of this included her husband and a few other friends from work.
One day, she wanted to have a talk with us, the talk about her divorce. That was more than 2 years ago and she is still in the process. We were,...are there for her. Now that I was settled fully as friend, I was ready to fulfill that role. We had the talks, the crying.
I cannot lie and say that I didn't gain a personal hope, but at the same time, I know I was going to hurt myself. She does not like me the way I like her. I respect and understand this. This was going to be a hurtful path, but I take friendship seriously.
the Girl
a Problem with this woman, she is very secretive. This is, according to her, because she is too embarrassed of many things. She will not lie, as far as I know, but will keep information from us. But I am a thinker with a lot of time, information will be formed, either true or false. She seems short on cash, her husband had a company that went down and a certain point she had to borrow money from me (which was only for a short time). She won't talk money, I understand. I have been in a similar situation in the past, no biggy. But she also has a medical condition, which she won't share. She needs yearly check ups, understands my worries, but leaves it at that. She has no social media and switches phone number regularly due to issues with the provider. And when she smiles, she looks so happy.
the Switch
About half a year ago, a Sunday morning, I was still in bed, a phone call.
Deeply in tears she tells me that she really can not live in the same house as her husband any more and has nowhere to go. I do as a friend does, she stays with me. I live alone in a decent house, plenty of rooms.
She stays for a week and goes on a holiday with her sister for a few weeks. The week was awkward at best. My living room looks more like an office and she stayed mostly in her room, seemingly organising her stuff. This was to be expected, given her situation. I told her to think about how to make my livingroom more enjoyable for her when she went on the holiday.
This is the part in where I should go: "a Few weeks later she returned...".
Instead she stayed at her original home. Reason would be the dog they had together as her husband was away for a few weeks. Few weeks went by, months went by... Assumed was that the situation cleared and she'd rather be home, understandable.
a nice additional note here would be that she comes from another country and does not speak my language, nor I hers. We talk about these things, but between her translation to English, and mine from it, details get lost.
Over the last couple of weeks, communication has dropped rapidly. Bringing that up just results in another awkward conversation. She had a few of her secret check ups and had a foot surgery of which she is recovering at home now. Which means no communication at all anymore. She has requested no visits, says she sleeps a lot. And this is information I get from a colleague/friend who is the only one who gets some information. She is asked to keep shut mostly though. And I see in her face that is hurting her.
the Verdict
as mentioned before, I take friendship seriously. I might be in love, but this girl is obviously in pain. I must simply set aside my love for her and help where needed. She knows I am there for her when needed the most and she knows that I respect her privacy. She will come when she needs me and she will only find open arms.
hold on, let's rewind a bit
..because maybe, those arms are not so open anymore.
Flaws are not easy to spot when you fall in love, but after so many years, those flaws become apparent. And boy, did they hit hard. Showing up on appointments only to leave after half an hour, even not showing up at all at a concert without notification. And then afterwards not even thanking, apologizing or mentioning the tickets I bought for her, only to find the trashcan. Afterwards she gives me a reason, sure. I have oh so many reasons now, still piling up, covered in the one word, oh so sincere frases "thanks" and "sorry". Be careful what you wish for, I guess. Nothing seems real anymore, and her smile.., not so happy anymore.
The concert thing happened just before her request to move in with me. I am not sure if she realized, that I made up my mind to end something very dear to me. Perhaps it would be better if she didn't.
and here I am
Torn between 2 worlds. Keeping the verdict as above is breaking me, every day, a little more. Just as it is breaking the relationship itself. But if it ends up breaking on it's own, I can still hold my head high and say that I was there for my friend, even when not requested.
Breaking the verdict will crush me more, but it will be a fast swing, easy hit, ready to start recovering. And possibly crushing a friends life even more. Maybe not, maybe so.. She will lose a home, but is it really...?
She will lose a friend, but is it really....?
The end
The original verdict stands, for now..communication goes through my colleague, and I am back at being the NPC. Typing this has dried up the rain, you guys already helped.
*NPC; Non Playable Character
This is my story as a NPC. The story I never wanted, yet got regardless.
I am going to post it, because I have to. And I am coming back to this forum, because I believe this is the best place for it. I do not need advice I guess, I just need to type this.
the Setup
I am an administrator, and one day, years ago, I was behind my pc. A new girl came in and asked if I could store her passport as she was not allowed to have it in the warehouse. She didn't know I already saw her before that, on the stairs, the moment the rest of the world disappeared cause there was only her. She and I were good together and we became friends.
This might need a short chapter in between. I am a single guy, for quite some time already. I keep mostly to myself and most of that is a choice. I am still a guy though, and I fall in love easily, yet know in all cases how to break this again. She was supposed to be one of those.
Ok, now this was easy at a very early time. You see, she was happily married, so my chances were 0. This is how I work at my best. Instead we became friends. Went for dinner, went to the movies, picnicking, frisbeeing, the fun stuff. A lot of this included her husband and a few other friends from work.
One day, she wanted to have a talk with us, the talk about her divorce. That was more than 2 years ago and she is still in the process. We were,...are there for her. Now that I was settled fully as friend, I was ready to fulfill that role. We had the talks, the crying.
I cannot lie and say that I didn't gain a personal hope, but at the same time, I know I was going to hurt myself. She does not like me the way I like her. I respect and understand this. This was going to be a hurtful path, but I take friendship seriously.
the Girl
a Problem with this woman, she is very secretive. This is, according to her, because she is too embarrassed of many things. She will not lie, as far as I know, but will keep information from us. But I am a thinker with a lot of time, information will be formed, either true or false. She seems short on cash, her husband had a company that went down and a certain point she had to borrow money from me (which was only for a short time). She won't talk money, I understand. I have been in a similar situation in the past, no biggy. But she also has a medical condition, which she won't share. She needs yearly check ups, understands my worries, but leaves it at that. She has no social media and switches phone number regularly due to issues with the provider. And when she smiles, she looks so happy.
the Switch
About half a year ago, a Sunday morning, I was still in bed, a phone call.
Deeply in tears she tells me that she really can not live in the same house as her husband any more and has nowhere to go. I do as a friend does, she stays with me. I live alone in a decent house, plenty of rooms.
She stays for a week and goes on a holiday with her sister for a few weeks. The week was awkward at best. My living room looks more like an office and she stayed mostly in her room, seemingly organising her stuff. This was to be expected, given her situation. I told her to think about how to make my livingroom more enjoyable for her when she went on the holiday.
This is the part in where I should go: "a Few weeks later she returned...".
Instead she stayed at her original home. Reason would be the dog they had together as her husband was away for a few weeks. Few weeks went by, months went by... Assumed was that the situation cleared and she'd rather be home, understandable.
a nice additional note here would be that she comes from another country and does not speak my language, nor I hers. We talk about these things, but between her translation to English, and mine from it, details get lost.
Over the last couple of weeks, communication has dropped rapidly. Bringing that up just results in another awkward conversation. She had a few of her secret check ups and had a foot surgery of which she is recovering at home now. Which means no communication at all anymore. She has requested no visits, says she sleeps a lot. And this is information I get from a colleague/friend who is the only one who gets some information. She is asked to keep shut mostly though. And I see in her face that is hurting her.
the Verdict
as mentioned before, I take friendship seriously. I might be in love, but this girl is obviously in pain. I must simply set aside my love for her and help where needed. She knows I am there for her when needed the most and she knows that I respect her privacy. She will come when she needs me and she will only find open arms.
hold on, let's rewind a bit
..because maybe, those arms are not so open anymore.
Flaws are not easy to spot when you fall in love, but after so many years, those flaws become apparent. And boy, did they hit hard. Showing up on appointments only to leave after half an hour, even not showing up at all at a concert without notification. And then afterwards not even thanking, apologizing or mentioning the tickets I bought for her, only to find the trashcan. Afterwards she gives me a reason, sure. I have oh so many reasons now, still piling up, covered in the one word, oh so sincere frases "thanks" and "sorry". Be careful what you wish for, I guess. Nothing seems real anymore, and her smile.., not so happy anymore.
The concert thing happened just before her request to move in with me. I am not sure if she realized, that I made up my mind to end something very dear to me. Perhaps it would be better if she didn't.
and here I am
Torn between 2 worlds. Keeping the verdict as above is breaking me, every day, a little more. Just as it is breaking the relationship itself. But if it ends up breaking on it's own, I can still hold my head high and say that I was there for my friend, even when not requested.
Breaking the verdict will crush me more, but it will be a fast swing, easy hit, ready to start recovering. And possibly crushing a friends life even more. Maybe not, maybe so.. She will lose a home, but is it really...?
She will lose a friend, but is it really....?
The end
The original verdict stands, for now..communication goes through my colleague, and I am back at being the NPC. Typing this has dried up the rain, you guys already helped.
*NPC; Non Playable Character
