Lionel Refson
Member
Once upon a time there was a happy little jewish boy. His Mum and Dad loved him, so did his grandparents. He was the first-born of the firstborn of the firstborn and everyone loved him. He loved everyone back but most of all he loved God. In cheder he heard the most beautiful stories of kind God, rainbows and how God made all things and loved all things
If the boy closed his eyes and thought of God he saw bright white lights and felt warm, safe and happy.
But as the boy grew older the things he heard and read things that made him think God a little cruel, a little mean and angry a bit too much. He started to believe that if he were naughty God would find out and punish him, or if he did something good then he would be more blessed and get a reward. He began to get a little guilty sometimes and a little afraid too.
The boy became a man and had read the holy books The fear and guilt were stronger now, but so too was the sense that if he did what God said he would get ahead, be better than his friends, etc.
The guilt and fear bothered him so he went to other places for comfort. He went first to materialism which after a short while felt empty and couldn't give him answers. So he picked at random buddhism which made him feel a little better, but he didn't want to give up all life attachments.
He became a Taoist and quickly realized that the taoist who thinks himself a taoist, is not a taoist, but trying and failing to grasp the Tao, while it gave him some comfort couldn't stop the fear and guilt that God was watching him and getting angry. he even tried falung gong for a few years.
So after 30 more years of this he decided that he'd better sort the God thing out once and for all. Fear and guilt cripples.
He got the Bible and the Koran together , because at that time people were telling others that they were murdering in the name of God/Allah and that God/Allah was on their side and began reading them for what he decided was to be the final time.
But in order to find what he was looking for, he had to become that boy again, and see whether his belief in a loving beloved God was misplaced or not. He would hold the boy in his heart, remember those old feelings of warmth, safety and love, but use his adult brain to carefully re-check meanings etc.
He also decided at the same time that he would rip out anything he read that said that God was angry, vengeful, tribal, bitter, destructive, oppressive and so on, because as a little boy he never believed that, it never occurred to him. and yes he started to tear up the holy pages
After years of doing this the man, now old, found the God he loved again. He had ended up with only one part of one book. oh he didn't know God completely. There were things he could never grasp, just like the tao cannot be grasped BUT he found that love again and while he realized that many of his growing up thoughts even the positive ones like " I got God on my side" were his mind trying to make sense of his fear guilt and arrogance of feeling special , he also knew his small boy thoughts had been the happiest of his life.
Then he started legal proceedings, in his case against judaism, for misrepresenting God to him. he wanted to grind the religion into the dust for what it had done to him, how it had made him think. Being a sensible chap he also realized that there must thousands of people of Abrahamic faiths all over the world having the same experience. He was far from being the only one, there were millions. It was his wife, who also happened to be a lawyer, who pointed out to him that as he'd swallowed the whole story as a boy he had a strong case for what could turn out to be a mass class action, especially as he had inarguable theological alternatives.
The old man started consulting a lawyer , but as he did so realized that religion is just another man-made mess and that all the teachers were and in an odd were not, to blame, they too having been indoctrinated. But at least he had found God, not through the religious doctrine but through the little boy fables he had learnt in jewish kindergarten being read with an inquiring adult mind
.. and the added bonus was he didn't need to contemplate God's nature any further because he had found what he was looking for and didn't need any more
And they all lived happily ever after and every year they burnt a little more of the paper tatters of mans doctrine to keep them warm in the winter
What title would you give to your journeys? and why?
If the boy closed his eyes and thought of God he saw bright white lights and felt warm, safe and happy.
But as the boy grew older the things he heard and read things that made him think God a little cruel, a little mean and angry a bit too much. He started to believe that if he were naughty God would find out and punish him, or if he did something good then he would be more blessed and get a reward. He began to get a little guilty sometimes and a little afraid too.
The boy became a man and had read the holy books The fear and guilt were stronger now, but so too was the sense that if he did what God said he would get ahead, be better than his friends, etc.
The guilt and fear bothered him so he went to other places for comfort. He went first to materialism which after a short while felt empty and couldn't give him answers. So he picked at random buddhism which made him feel a little better, but he didn't want to give up all life attachments.
He became a Taoist and quickly realized that the taoist who thinks himself a taoist, is not a taoist, but trying and failing to grasp the Tao, while it gave him some comfort couldn't stop the fear and guilt that God was watching him and getting angry. he even tried falung gong for a few years.
So after 30 more years of this he decided that he'd better sort the God thing out once and for all. Fear and guilt cripples.
He got the Bible and the Koran together , because at that time people were telling others that they were murdering in the name of God/Allah and that God/Allah was on their side and began reading them for what he decided was to be the final time.
But in order to find what he was looking for, he had to become that boy again, and see whether his belief in a loving beloved God was misplaced or not. He would hold the boy in his heart, remember those old feelings of warmth, safety and love, but use his adult brain to carefully re-check meanings etc.
He also decided at the same time that he would rip out anything he read that said that God was angry, vengeful, tribal, bitter, destructive, oppressive and so on, because as a little boy he never believed that, it never occurred to him. and yes he started to tear up the holy pages
After years of doing this the man, now old, found the God he loved again. He had ended up with only one part of one book. oh he didn't know God completely. There were things he could never grasp, just like the tao cannot be grasped BUT he found that love again and while he realized that many of his growing up thoughts even the positive ones like " I got God on my side" were his mind trying to make sense of his fear guilt and arrogance of feeling special , he also knew his small boy thoughts had been the happiest of his life.
Then he started legal proceedings, in his case against judaism, for misrepresenting God to him. he wanted to grind the religion into the dust for what it had done to him, how it had made him think. Being a sensible chap he also realized that there must thousands of people of Abrahamic faiths all over the world having the same experience. He was far from being the only one, there were millions. It was his wife, who also happened to be a lawyer, who pointed out to him that as he'd swallowed the whole story as a boy he had a strong case for what could turn out to be a mass class action, especially as he had inarguable theological alternatives.
The old man started consulting a lawyer , but as he did so realized that religion is just another man-made mess and that all the teachers were and in an odd were not, to blame, they too having been indoctrinated. But at least he had found God, not through the religious doctrine but through the little boy fables he had learnt in jewish kindergarten being read with an inquiring adult mind
.. and the added bonus was he didn't need to contemplate God's nature any further because he had found what he was looking for and didn't need any more
And they all lived happily ever after and every year they burnt a little more of the paper tatters of mans doctrine to keep them warm in the winter
What title would you give to your journeys? and why?
Last edited:
