A Revelation About What Makes A Woman Sexy

[Ruadri Canmore]

Yesterday was my cousin's birthday and to celebrate we went to an amatuer Nintendo themed burlesque night. There were 14 acts where a woman would walk up on stage in a Nintendo themed costume (Yoshi, Samus and Link were particularly memorable)and do a striptease.

Though it was not what I had expected. It was more like community theatre than a strip club. It was held in a theatre for one, and there were just as many women in the audience as men. The dancers weren't being paid to do this they all volunteered just because it was something they wanted to do. The girls had all made thier own costumes, devised thier own acts (often with a lot of Nintendo in-jokes) and phoned the event organizers and asked to participate.

The women were also not what you would call conventionally beautiful, that is to say they weren't beautiful by Hollywood standards. They weren't ugly or anything, they were just ordinary women, the kind you see everyday at work and whatnot. Yet when these women got up on stage an performed I was set on fire! Which at the time I thought odd because normally strippers and women just being naked don't excite me all much. Like from time to time I would hear other guys talking excitedly about going to strip clubs or how a particular actress got naked in this or that movie and I just thought, "what's so exciting about that, just go on the internet you can see a naked woman any time". Yet here I am becoming more aroused by a heavyset "ordinary looking" girl dressed as Pikachu taking off a glove than I would be by watching Sasha Grey actually have sex.

I kept turning this over in my mind until this morning when I had a revelation. I think the reason I found these women more attractive than the supposed paragons of female beauty you see in Hollywood was because the women were dancing around naked for the sake of dancing around naked.

I get the feeling that most actresses, models, pornstars and such just focus on making themselves look sexy however if thier job did not require for them to look or act sexy then they would not put the effort in. Thier desire isn't to be sexy but to do a job. But the women at the Burlesque, they were putting themselves out there because it was something they wanted to do. They wanted to be sexy for the sake of being sexy and I think that's what made them so sexy. They didn't want to look sexy to achieve some end, they wanted to be genuine sexual beings, and it was freakin' hot!

Does anyone get what I'm talking about? And does anyone have some thoughts on this?

 

[Reptillian]

Sounds like a fun event. Any pictures? *heavy breathing*

I know what you mean though, sexiness depends a lot upon confidence and attitude. I've known lots of "hot by hollywood standards" girls and I tend to prefer girls that aren't necessarily physically gorgeous, but that have personality. A nice smile and excellent conversation can make an "average" girl into an outstanding one.

 

[Sunstone]

...the women were dancing around naked for the sake of dancing around naked.

I get the feeling that most actresses, models, pornstars and such just focus on making themselves look sexy however if thier job did not require for them to look or act sexy then they would not put the effort in. Thier desire isn't to be sexy but to do a job. But the women at the Burlesque, they were putting themselves out there because it was something they wanted to do. They wanted to be sexy for the sake of being sexy and I think that's what made them so sexy. They didn't want to look sexy to achieve some end, they wanted to be genuine sexual beings, and it was freakin' hot!

Does anyone get what I'm talking about? And does anyone have some thoughts on this?

Yup. You nailed it. A woman who dances her own sexuality is quite often downright powerfully sexy.

 

[Sunstone]

At erotic dance clubs, RC, the sexiest dancers (in my opinion) are the relatively few who do not pander to the audience and have the talent to express their sexuality in dance. At some clubs such dancers are nonexistent, while at others, there are a few like that. But I think you often enough can, if you pay attention, tell the difference between someone who is dancing her sexuality and someone who is merely pandering.

Having said that, I have a strong suspicion that women who dance their sexuality are not always the most popular dancers and do not make the most money. But that's like most things. Chevy outsells Mercedes; McDonald's outsells higher quality hamburgers; and so forth. The most popular is not often the best.

I once read someone who argued that Americans, because of our Puritan and Victorian roots, prefer more artificial, more "made-up", and less natural expressions of sexuality than, say, many Europeans. Specifically, American males are not attracted to natural, authentic sexuality in women so much as they are attracted to a kind of artificial sexuality -- often expressed, among other ways, by relatively heavy make-up, gaudy or somewhat cheesy clothing, blunt innuendo, outsized boobs, and so forth. The hooker look.

He proposed the reason for the American male taste in female sexuality was that American males are, because of their culture's Puritan and Victorian roots, somewhat afraid of natural female sexuality -- so they find female sexuality more approachable if it is "ritualized", separated and walled off from normal life, and driven a bit underground. The gaudy make-up, cheesy clothing, etc does that.

I don't know how much truth there was to his theory, but I do think the more authentic dancers in the clubs are often less popular than the more inauthentic ones.

I once new a dancer, Elsie, who at 33 was a bit older than most dancers. She was also much more down to earth and more sexually confident than her younger sisters. She came across as unrestrained, guileless, and straightforward in expressing her sexuality. You couldn't imagine her not knowing what she wanted and not getting it. And, so far as I was concerned, she was the sexiest dancer I'd ever met. Watching her was liberating. But you could go into the club where she worked and see all the other dancers surrounded by crowds of men while Elsie would have only two or three followers. There was nothing wrong with her looks. Physically, she was a very attractive, head turning woman. Perhaps, though, she intimidated the men. I don't know, but maybe a lot of the men just weren't ready for such a strong affirmation of female sexuality. If so, that would be hugely ironic, because the men were technically in a club where one might expect -- even hope for -- such affirmations.

And that brings me to my last point. I think there is a general preference among men in our society for relatively young women. Women in their late teens and twenties. At least, that seems the preference in dance clubs. If so, I wonder how much, if any, of that preference is not owed to the fact that younger women are generally less sexually confident, less in touch with their sexuality, and less direct in expressing it than somewhat older women. That is, do men prefer the younger women -- at least in part -- because they are less sexually challenging and at least a bit more passive?

I figure youthful looks have something to do with the male preference. But I also figure that youthful looks is not the whole story. So, maybe, there's some truth to the notion that younger women are preferred in part because more men can imagine themselves sexually competent with a relative novice than with a more mature woman. I don't know. I'm just tossing that out for a thought.

 

[jarofthoughts]

Personally I find intelligence to be very sexy indeed.
One of the sexiest women I've met was a professor in neuropsychology that was at least 15 years my senior, and while she was definitely good looking enough, I just couldn't help imagine the amazing pillow talk we could have... :drool:

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Yup. You nailed it. A woman who dances her own sexuality is quite often downright powerfully sexy.

Absolutely. :yes:

I once got a lap dance from an exotic dancer that was fun and absolutely loved her job. She never tried to present anything, just danced sexy because she loved it. I will never forget the lap dance, either.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Personally I find intelligence to be very sexy indeed.
One of the sexiest women I've met was a professor in neuropsychology that was at least 15 years my senior, and while she was definitely good looking enough, I just couldn't help imagine the amazing pillow talk we could have... :drool:

Intelligence, a sense of humor, and how she carries herself. Drives me wild.

 

[9Westy9]

Yesterday was my cousin's birthday and to celebrate we went to an amatuer Nintendo themed burlesque night. There were 14 acts where a woman would walk up on stage in a Nintendo themed costume (Yoshi, Samus and Link were particularly memorable)and do a striptease.

Though it was not what I had expected. It was more like community theatre than a strip club. It was held in a theatre for one, and there were just as many women in the audience as men. The dancers weren't being paid to do this they all volunteered just because it was something they wanted to do. The girls had all made thier own costumes, devised thier own acts (often with a lot of Nintendo in-jokes) and phoned the event organizers and asked to participate.

The women were also not what you would call conventionally beautiful, that is to say they weren't beautiful by Hollywood standards. They weren't ugly or anything, they were just ordinary women, the kind you see everyday at work and whatnot. Yet when these women got up on stage an performed I was set on fire! Which at the time I thought odd because normally strippers and women just being naked don't excite me all much. Like from time to time I would hear other guys talking excitedly about going to strip clubs or how a particular actress got naked in this or that movie and I just thought, "what's so exciting about that, just go on the internet you can see a naked woman any time". Yet here I am becoming more aroused by a heavyset "ordinary looking" girl dressed as Pikachu taking off a glove than I would be by watching Sasha Grey actually have sex.

I kept turning this over in my mind until this morning when I had a revelation. I think the reason I found these women more attractive than the supposed paragons of female beauty you see in Hollywood was because the women were dancing around naked for the sake of dancing around naked.

I get the feeling that most actresses, models, pornstars and such just focus on making themselves look sexy however if thier job did not require for them to look or act sexy then they would not put the effort in. Thier desire isn't to be sexy but to do a job. But the women at the Burlesque, they were putting themselves out there because it was something they wanted to do. They wanted to be sexy for the sake of being sexy and I think that's what made them so sexy. They didn't want to look sexy to achieve some end, they wanted to be genuine sexual beings, and it was freakin' hot!

Does anyone get what I'm talking about? And does anyone have some thoughts on this?

Is there any video or pictures taken?

In all seriousness though I think you may have something. Possibly the fact that they were doing it for personal pleasure rather than just money or the pleasure of others may have made the dancing more appealing. Also the fact that it was "Nintendo themed" might have had something to do with that as everyone has different turn on's and fantasies.

 

[Sunstone]

Erotic dancing is like any other art. Some dancers are horrible. Most are mediocre. And a few are exceptionally good.

 

[Ruadri Canmore]

Is there any video or pictures taken?

Yes. They have a website but it seems that I have to make 15 posts before I can post the link.

 

[blackout]

I LOVE Burlesque!

Hawt, clever, almost always adorable.
Real.

 

[blackout]

At erotic dance clubs, RC, the sexiest dancers (in my opinion) are the relatively few who do not pander to the audience and have the talent to express their sexuality in dance. At some clubs such dancers are nonexistent, while at others, there are a few like that. But I think you often enough can, if you pay attention, tell the difference between someone who is dancing her sexuality and someone who is merely pandering.

Having said that, I have a strong suspicion that women who dance their sexuality are not always the most popular dancers and do not make the most money. But that's like most things. Chevy outsells Mercedes; McDonald's outsells higher quality hamburgers; and so forth. The most popular is not often the best.

I once read someone who argued that Americans, because of our Puritan and Victorian roots, prefer more artificial, more "made-up", and less natural expressions of sexuality than, say, many Europeans. Specifically, American males are not attracted to natural, authentic sexuality in women so much as they are attracted to a kind of artificial sexuality -- often expressed, among other ways, by relatively heavy make-up, gaudy or somewhat cheesy clothing, blunt innuendo, outsized boobs, and so forth. The hooker look.

He proposed the reason for the American male taste in female sexuality was that American males are, because of their culture's Puritan and Victorian roots, somewhat afraid of natural female sexuality -- so they find female sexuality more approachable if it is "ritualized", separated and walled off from normal life, and driven a bit underground. The gaudy make-up, cheesy clothing, etc does that.

I don't know how much truth there was to his theory, but I do think the more authentic dancers in the clubs are often less popular than the more inauthentic ones.

I once new a dancer, Elsie, who at 33 was a bit older than most dancers. She was also much more down to earth and more sexually confident than her younger sisters. She came across as unrestrained, guileless, and straightforward in expressing her sexuality. You couldn't imagine her not knowing what she wanted and not getting it. And, so far as I was concerned, she was the sexiest dancer I'd ever met. Watching her was liberating. But you could go into the club where she worked and see all the other dancers surrounded by crowds of men while Elsie would have only two or three followers. There was nothing wrong with her looks. Physically, she was a very attractive, head turning woman. Perhaps, though, she intimidated the men. I don't know, but maybe a lot of the men just weren't ready for such a strong affirmation of female sexuality. If so, that would be hugely ironic, because the men were technically in a club where one might expect -- even hope for -- such affirmations.

And that brings me to my last point. I think there is a general preference among men in our society for relatively young women. Women in their late teens and twenties. At least, that seems the preference in dance clubs. If so, I wonder how much, if any, of that preference is not owed to the fact that younger women are generally less sexually confident, less in touch with their sexuality, and less direct in expressing it than somewhat older women. That is, do men prefer the younger women -- at least in part -- because they are less sexually challenging and at least a bit more passive?

I figure youthful looks have something to do with the male preference. But I also figure that youthful looks is not the whole story. So, maybe, there's some truth to the notion that younger women are preferred in part because more men can imagine themselves sexually competent with a relative novice than with a more mature woman. I don't know. I'm just tossing that out for a thought.

What are your thoughts about the way burlesque in particular
fills theatres and venues with both men and women it seems, with equal appeal?

 

[Sunstone]

What are your thoughts about the way burlesque in particular
fills theatres and venues with both men and women it seems, with equal appeal?

I don't know a whole lot about burlesque, UV, but I've had a few female friends who've gone to erotic dance clubs. It's a small sample, and not representative of all women, but none of my friends were put off by the experience. Instead, they've almost to a person told me they found the experience "liberating".

Consequently, I think seeing a woman dance her sexuality can be a liberating experience for both sexes. As far as burlesque is concerned, my guess is that it is more accessible to women than the performances in the average erotic dance club. If so, that might be because burlesque -- from what little I know of it -- is more clever, witty, and subtle than the performances in the average erotic dance club, while remaining just as emotionally and sexually liberating. At least, that's my guess.

 

[Ruadri Canmore]

Is there any video or pictures taken?

Okay I can post links now. This is their website.

THE UNDERGROUND PEEPSHOW

They haven't posted the pics of the one I went to yet, but you can see the ones from previous performances.

 

[9Westy9]

Okay I can post links now. This is their website.

THE UNDERGROUND PEEPSHOW

They haven't posted the pics of the one I went to yet, but you can see the ones from previous performances.

Sounds like my type of show

 

[Iamwhoiam]

Well as an ordinary woman, I love what you just posted and believe what excited you may be REAL every day women. NOT some porn star or perfect model that most men fall for but real women. Sounds like you are one heck of a real man!

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Well as an ordinary woman, I love what you just posted and believe what excited you may be REAL every day women. NOT some porn star or perfect model that most men fall for but real women. Sounds like you are one heck of a real man!

I think most men tend to gravitate initially toward the Barbie-doll type - youthful, flawless skin, a va-va-voom figure, long legs, perfect nails and teeth - not because it's preferable, but because it's shoved in their faces thousands of times a day through marketing ploys and computer enhanced models. We've tended to become a culture that communicates and relates more through technology than face to face conversation, and technology has given us these enhancements. Not to mention they've given men more rugged features and can apparently survive a baseball bat hit to the head.

We're not the only ones who have been materialized, ya know. This has been advertised as not "ideal", but "normal".

Once the allure passes, and the woman opens her mouth to talk, if she has no substance, the attraction is gone in an instant. It's at that point after trial and error that one comes to the conclusion that it really is a woman's mind and the way she carries herself that is staying power, and keeps one mesmerized forever. Sometimes, it takes these guys a while to figure that out. But that's okay. I'd only want the ones who do figure it out.

 

[painted wolf]

What makes a woman sexy is the belief that she is....

It sounds a bit trite, but you can tell when a woman genuinely feels that she is sexy... her posture, her smile... nothing forced or tarty or withdrawn.

wa:do

wa:do

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Bump.

Any new revelations?

 

[no-body]

beauty, eye, beholder... etc.