Abandoning friends for the sake of mental health

[Grandliseur]

If your oldest son is 41 then I am sure you do not need anymore dogs . I am 23 and just barely starting my life at the moment, at least marriage is coming pretty soon in my life but I am sure you could tell me if it is a smart move or not.

If both of you are devoted to each other, then it is a smart move. Humans are not meant to live in solitude. But, the husband should want the wife to be his only 'well of water' and care for her as being one flesh. Likewise the wife, should care for her husband. It should not mean that either wife or husband cannot have their old friends, friends being the operative word here. After marriage, the former friendships tend to change somewhat. That is to be expected.

Our Biblical Paul said that those who marry shall suffer tribulation in the flesh. Clearly, there shall be times where disagreements arise. But, let us keep the marriage bed undefiled and work through the disagreements. If possible, each person should have a little personal money to use as they want each month without having to account for it to their wife or husband.

At first, before marriage, emotions and feelings are what get us to marry. But, look at your fathers and mothers, uncles aunts, after this first 'burning of love' is past, daily life sets in. Then comes the time of becoming one. It probably takes about 3 years before a settling in to normal life, where the burning has finished. So, think of the first 5 years as the first, being one of burning emotion, then the rest to find the balance between you two. And, a suggestion, don't have children for the first 2 or 3 years. Use your extra money (after kids arrive, busy busy, money never enough) to go places, safe places, together.

 

[Sha'irullah]

If both of you are devoted to each other, then it is a smart move. Humans are not meant to live in solitude. But, the husband should want the wife to be his only 'well of water' and care for her as being one flesh. Likewise the wife, should care for her husband. It should not mean that either wife or husband cannot have their old friends, friends being the operative word here. After marriage, the former friendships tend to change somewhat. That is to be expected.

Our Biblical Paul said that those who marry shall suffer tribulation in the flesh. Clearly, there shall be times where disagreements arise. But, let us keep the marriage bed undefiled and work through the disagreements. If possible, each person should have a little personal money to use as they want each month without having to account for it to their wife or husband.

Religiously this is one of those things that I really appreciate about the Abrahamic religions, it is their continuation of ethical principles and the solidity of social institutes and having a place in society.

In my case I tend to be the head of the household but only because my fiance is very immature and prefers being babied a lot. We have had our disagreements but at the end of the day neither of us case much about anything to worry about something for more than a few minutes. Especially me, I am always confused for a hippie stoner no matter where I go.

At first, before marriage, emotions and feelings are what get us to marry. But, look at your fathers and mothers, uncles aunts, after this first 'burning of love' is past, daily life sets in. Then comes the time of becoming one. It probably takes about 3 years before a settling in to normal life, where the burning has finished. So, think of the first 5 years as the first, being one of burning emotion, then the rest to find the balance between you two. And, a suggestion, don't have children for the first 2 or 3 years. Use your extra money (after kids arrive, busy busy, money never enough) to go places, safe places, together.

 

[oldbadger]

I'm impressed. And, thank you for the humor. Now I don't dare tell you my opinion of those test, though I never took one. Hope you the best of luck on your next bus sightseeing.
But, try avoid ending up in Plymouth, if I understand your point of origin. That would make it hard to get home for happy hour.

The whole IQ 'thing' irritates me. My wife works with very very highly qualified folks who are very professionally capable, some of them who have absolutely no common sense at all.
And over the years I have noticed how high-intellect folks seem to have a high incidence of various psychological, neurological and mental disabilities.

Although I was joking about the simple action of 'looking out of a bus window' such simple things do really give me joy. My life is simple but contented..............

 

[Grandliseur]

Although I was joking about the simple action of 'looking out of a bus window' such simple things do really give me joy. My life is simple but contented..............

I know exactly what you mean. A simple walk brings much pleasure to me.

 

[oldbadger]

I know exactly what you mean. A simple walk brings much pleasure to me.

Yes...... absolutely.
I ride a bicycle around the area and through the woods, and walk the dachshunds along the beach. Everyday chores and jobs are contentment. I can sit with my wife ...... just be with her, walk with her.
Or annoy @Revoltingest ............ true delightful happiness!