Americans coming to Canada to flee Trillary

[Wirey]

So you’re an American citizen who hates either Trump or Hillary, and since he/she/it has been elected you’ve decided to flee to Canada. Well, you may be in for some minor cultural shocks unless you’re prepared. We do things a little different here, so here’s some tips to help you prepare for the change when you move to the Greatest Nation on Earth from the USA (known globally as ‘Canada’s Underwear, complete with Floridian wang).

1) It won’t cost you an arm and a leg if you break an arm or a leg. A lot of stuff is slightly more expensive (and by slightly I mean enormously), but cancer doesn’t get to take your house on the way out.

2) This is sexy politician in the US:

And this is sexy politician in Canada:

Get used to it.

3) Money comes in many colours. An average shopping trip feels like a game of Monopoly.

4) Yes, it snows in June and September, but not everywhere. Just most places.

5) Toronto is not indicative of the rest of Canada, and we apologize in advance. We all got together way back and decided that all our idiots needed to be in the same place. Toronto voted for themselves.

6) People up here speak French and mean it. They’re not being stuck up snobs, here it’s actually a sign that you’re a redneck. For example, ladies, comment vas-tu?

7) Hockey will take over your life. Accept it. Enjoy it. And remember, hockey actually has rules about how many beer must be consumed per period.

8) We don’t say ‘aboot’ when we mean ‘about’. Walk around spouting that crap and you’ll wind up with aboot in your colon.

9) We have real beer, not that watery crap you guys are used to. Start with one and work your way up. Also, Canadian whiskey keeps winning global awards, while I believe Jack Daniels is now an ingredient in BBQ sauce. How proud you must be.

10) And finally, Canadian men.

Any questions?

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

So you’re an American citizen who hates either Trump or Hillary, and since he/she/it has been elected you’ve decided to flee to Canada. Well, you may be in for some minor cultural shocks unless you’re prepared. We do things a little different here, so here’s some tips to help you prepare for the change when you move to the Greatest Nation on Earth from the USA (known globally as ‘Canada’s Underwear, complete with Floridian wang).

1) It won’t cost you an arm and a leg if you break an arm or a leg. A lot of stuff is slightly more expensive (and by slightly I mean enormously), but cancer doesn’t get to take your house on the way out.

2) This is sexy politician in the US:

And this is sexy politician in Canada:

Get used to it.

3) Money comes in many colours. An average shopping trip feels like a game of Monopoly.

4) Yes, it snows in June and September, but not everywhere. Just most places.

5) Toronto is not indicative of the rest of Canada, and we apologize in advance. We all got together way back and decided that all our idiots needed to be in the same place. Toronto voted for themselves.

6) People up here speak French and mean it. They’re not being stuck up snobs, here it’s actually a sign that you’re a redneck. For example, ladies, comment vas-tu?

7) Hockey will take over your life. Accept it. Enjoy it. And remember, hockey actually has rules about how many beer must be consumed per period.

8) We don’t say ‘aboot’ when we mean ‘about’. Walk around spouting that crap and you’ll wind up with aboot in your colon.

9) We have real beer, not that watery crap you guys are used to. Start with one and work your way up. Also, Canadian whiskey keeps winning global awards, while I believe Jack Daniels is now an ingredient in BBQ sauce. How proud you must be.

10) And finally, Canadian men.

Any questions?

It's aboot time someone cleered all this up, eh?

Il est temps que quelqu'un effacé tout ça, hein?

 

[Nietzsche]

So you’re an American citizen who hates either Trump or Hillary, and since he/she/it has been elected you’ve decided to flee to Canada. Well, you may be in for some minor cultural shocks unless you’re prepared. We do things a little different here, so here’s some tips to help you prepare for the change when you move to the Greatest Nation on Earth from the USA (known globally as ‘Canada’s Underwear, complete with Floridian wang).

1) It won’t cost you an arm and a leg if you break an arm or a leg. A lot of stuff is slightly more expensive (and by slightly I mean enormously), but cancer doesn’t get to take your house on the way out.

2) This is sexy politician in the US:



And this is sexy politician in Canada:

Get used to it.

3) Money comes in many colours. An average shopping trip feels like a game of Monopoly.

4) Yes, it snows in June and September, but not everywhere. Just most places.

5) Toronto is not indicative of the rest of Canada, and we apologize in advance. We all got together way back and decided that all our idiots needed to be in the same place. Toronto voted for themselves.

6) People up here speak French and mean it. They’re not being stuck up snobs, here it’s actually a sign that you’re a redneck. For example, ladies, comment vas-tu?

7) Hockey will take over your life. Accept it. Enjoy it. And remember, hockey actually has rules about how many beer must be consumed per period.

8) We don’t say ‘aboot’ when we mean ‘about’. Walk around spouting that crap and you’ll wind up with aboot in your colon.

Right, right, all this seems fair..

9) We have real beer, not that watery crap you guys are used to. Start with one and work your way up.

Good, good this is fair, at least he didn't down our w-

Also, Canadian whiskey keeps winning global awards, while I believe Jack Daniels is now an ingredient in BBQ sauce. How proud you must be.

MOTHER****ER!

 

[Wirey]

It's aboot time someone cleered all this up, eh?

Il est temps que quelqu'un effacé tout ça, hein?

Erased?

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Erased?

Eh? If it's wrong, it Google Translate (TM)'s fault!

 

[fantome profane]

Eh? If it's wrong, it Google Translate (TM)'s fault!

Juste dire que c’était une faute de frappe.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Juste dire que c’était une faute de frappe.

Comment ne disant qu'il était une faute de frappe au lieu d'admettre que je ne sais pas le français à parler de Google et utilisé traducteur mieux?

 

[fantome profane]

Comment ne disant qu'il était une faute de frappe au lieu d'admettre que je ne sais pas le français à parler de Google et utilisé traducteur mieux?

If you want to move to Canada you need to at least pretend you speak French. I recommend Babelfish.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Lets see. Sleep in U.S. work in Canada.

Side effect is my Jane Siberry addiction, but it's Toronto after all, and I've survived the trek through the 401 and QEW for several years now. So far. .... .. .

While I haven't expatriated, it seems my wallet already did. I have hardly no American cash in it. Just the multi colorful plastic you that can even see through, and I also have my very own tuque causing me to habitually say, "eh" at the end of sentences as opposed to the start of them.

I also miss Swiss Chalet and would gladly return Tim Hortons to it's rightful owners. .

I'm all set as a kickstarter once America sets up kill towers at all the borders and imprisions everyone at the FEMA camps to do slave labor in the mines.

*grin*

 

[Twilight Hue]

If you want to move to Canada you need to at least pretend you speak French. I recommend Babelfish.

Damm. All I got is Rosetta Stone.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

If you want to move to Canada you need to at least pretend you speak French. I recommend Babelfish.

Merci. Je vais essayer. Si j’ai décidé de déménager au Canada, je vais faire un effort pour apprendre plus d’un faux accent Français. Et jemti vais essayer d’aimer le hockey à nouveau.

 

[fantome profane]

Merci. Je vais essayer. Si j’ai décidé de déménager au Canada, je vais faire un effort pour apprendre plus d’un faux accent Français. Et jemti vais essayer d’aimer le hockey à nouveau.

Le bon vieux jeu de Hockey est le meilleur jeu que vous pouvez nommer.
Et le meilleur jeu que vous pouvez nommer est le bon vieux jeu de Hockey.

 

[Father Heathen]

Wait, have conservatives actually threatened to migrate to Canada if Hillary was elected, despite Canada itself being pretty damn liberal?

Also, I though the Frenchiness was largely contained in Quebec?

An aside, Molson and Moosehead are damn good beer.

 

[Revoltingest]

10) And finally, Canadian men.

Any questions?

Yes, I have a question.
Why do Canuckistanian men have no genitalia?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Lol. This is great. I probably am going to move to Canada, but that's regardless of who gets elected. There's just nothing left for me in America and America is self-destructing, anyway.

 

[Vinayaka]

Yes, I have a question.
Why do Canuckistanian men have no genitalia?

Pretty sure that fence and those trees are Revoltistanian. Must been a mistake.

 

[fantome profane]

Yes, I have a question.
Why do Canuckistanian men have no genitalia?

Hey, you have to be fair, it was pretty cold out when that picture was taken.

 

[Revoltingest]

Hey, you have to be fair, it was pretty cold out when that picture was taken.

 

[columbus]

Yes, I have a question.
Why do Canuckistanian men have no genitalia?

Doubtless Miss Wirey is greatly offended by the implications of your question.
Tom

 

[Revoltingest]

Pretty sure that fence and those trees are Revoltistanian. Must been a mistake.

It couldn't be Revoltistan.
We're in a verdant paradise with no snow at all.