Anyone play/ed Dungeons and Dragons?

[Wirey]

Also, re: your frubal. This isn't me angry. This is simply me not laughing off stereotypes.

It was meant as a friendly joke. Sorry.

 

[Akivah]

I remember one of my groups included a dwarf fighter that viewed himself as the most bad-*** fighter in the party and a human paladin that believed he was honor bound to protect everyone. Our party had encountered some huge spiders that were trashing the party, so we decided to make a run for it. We came to a rope bridge that only had room for one person to cross at a time. Everyone but the fighter and paladin crossed over. They started arguing about who would be the last one to cross as each of them wanted the honor. As everyone else is yelling at them to move, they just stood there arms folded and glared at each other. In the meantime, the spiders caught up to them and started attacking both of them. Incredibly, they both refused to even draw their weapons. They continued to stand there and glare at each other, while the spiders were chomping on them. Eventually, the fighter collapsed and died from the wounds, whereupon the paladin says "Now, I'm the last to cross" and crosses the bridge without even a backward glance at his dead party member.

 

[Akivah]

Another time, I was with a destitute party, money was very hard to find. We were in an orchard when some bandits started shooting arrows at us. We all ducked behind the trees for cover. One of our guys noticed that the arrowheads were copper in color and reasoned that they must be valuable. So he reaches around the trunk to try to remove the arrows that were embedded in his tree. He gives a yelp and his arm comes back with 4 arrows in his flesh. He grins and says "now I'm richer than anyone else."

 

[Akivah]

Once I was playing a very strong and very stupid human fighter. I loved combat and played him as a simpleton. One time we were attacked by a group of bandits. My character was cutting through them quite easily. So the bandit leader pulls out a hunting horn, blows it to signal the rest of his troop, and the extra men showed up to reinforce him. My character immedietly went and killed the bandit leader. Then I ignored the remaining bandits and started blowing the horn. One of our party members screams at me "What are you doing?! We need you over here." My fighter replies "This a magic horn to summon bandits. Me want to fight more."

The Dungeon master almost collapsed in laughter.

 

[Parsimony]

I found your stories amusing, Akivah.

 

[Gjallarhorn]

Akivah wins with the best stories lol.

Trying to match those, the only story that seems interesting is the time we sent a bunch of zealot rogues against an impossible horde of werewolves. My character had been running into bad events with dogs since the beginning of the campaign (including a bestiality offense for which I swear I was falsely accused). We found our way into a thieves town of sorts that is constantly under attack by werewolves. They also worship the god whose followers currently want us dead. To eliminate the threat, I went on a long sermon about our times in relation to the church (which at this point included killing those rebels to save face), peppered with my bad encounters with canines. In the end over half the scoundrels were convinced and rushed out into the night to kill dogs in the name of God. None survived and we waited until morning to skip out with all the loot.