As an example of how how mother provides the backbone of the relationships we have with all women and how how father provides the backbone for the relationships we have with all men – My M.I.L. was horribly abused by her mother when she was a child. She was locked in a chicken coop and deprived of food etc., eventually taken out of the house. Because of the experience of being rejected by her mother, she has felt insecure around all women throughout her life. She told me about how terrifying it was to get a teaching assignment in relief society. She was horrified to get up in front of a room of women because after 50 years she still harbored feelings of rejection and insecurity from women generated by her mother so many years earlier. These feelings did not translate to men though, she was not rejected or abused by her father, and so she was comfortable in front of men. She could have easily given a lesson in elders quorum if she had been asked.
Animals are like this too – we got our dog from the pound, he was there because his previous owners were going through a divorce, we found this out later (pound called, told us previous owners wanted to check up on him, here is their phone # if we wanted to call, we called, long story short, he took their dog to the pound when she was off on vacation, she was not in an apart that did not accept dogs or we would have given the dog back) Anyways, he was mean to the dog, she was nice. Because of this the dog loved all women, hated all men. I am sure a few people have known animals like this.
The relationship with our mother provides the foundation for the relationship we have with all women. Our relationship we have with our father provides the foundation we have with all men. Two mothers raising a child might give them a wonderful backbone for dealing with all the women in their life,
but it will not help them feel secure and accepted around men. Unless they have a male father figure in their life giving them words of affirmation, encouraging them, telling them that they are beautiful, building up their self-esteem, they will feel insecure around all males.
Here are statistics for children raised without a father figure. Two moms might improve these stats a little over a single mom, but the trend will still be there because they are generated from a lack of a supportive male figure in the children’s life. There are not as many kids being raised by their father rather than mother, but logic suggests that the stats would be visa versa in such a case – unhealthy relationships/ premarital pregnancies/ insecurity low self-esteem leading to suicide/low grades/etc. etc. because they feel rejected/uncomfortable/insecure around half of the population.
Everyone knows that kids raised without a father figure do poorly.
TNDAD - Children Need Their Dads
TNDAD - Children Need Their Dads
children who come from fatherless homes;
63% of youth suicides
70% of juveniles in State Institutions
71% of teen pregnancies
71% of High School dropouts
75% of children in chemical abuse centers
85% of youth sitting in prisons
85% of children with behavioral problems
90% of homeless and runaway children
What Single-Parenting Can Tell Us About Same-Sex Parenting
What Single-Parenting Can Tell Us About Same-Sex Parenting
Father and Child Reunion - Part
Father and Child Reunion - Part
Let’s look at why the following three conditions seem to work best or children after divorce:
- First, the child has about equal time with mom and dad
- Second, parents live close enough to each other that the child does not need to forfeit friends or activities when visiting the other parent
- Third, no bad-mouthing
Children with minimal exposure to the other parent after divorce seem to feel abandoned, and often psychologically rudderless... (children who are adopted also do poorly for this same reason, they feel abandoned by their natural parents - because they are abandoned by their natural parents. Adopted kids do poorly compared to kids raised by their biological mother and father, and all kids of homosexuals are at least half adopted.)
Children with both parents, and especially children with substantial father contact, do better--even when socio-economic variables are controlled for. They do better on their SATs, on their social skills, on their self-esteem, in their physical health, in their ability to be assertive, and, surprisingly, the more dad involvement the more a child is likely to be empathetic. These children are far less likely to suffer from nightmares, temper tantrums, being bullied, or have other signs of feeling like a victim. (It is not just about the love between mom and dad, it is about have having both of their natural parents there to give them a foundation for their relashonship with both men and women.)
...children who are raised (only by) moms and have problems with the 5 D’s (drinking, drugs, depression, delinquency, disobedience) are most likely to be given to their dads to “take over” in early teenage years. The propensity of dads to take on the more challenging children and yet still have positive outcomes speaks highly of dads’ contributions. Nevertheless, these children still do not do as well as when the children are in an intact family, or when the involvement of both mom and dad are closer to equal.
Why does the approximately equal involvement of both parents appear so important, and even more crucial after a divorce? No one knows for certain, but here appears to be three rarely-discussed possible reasons that emanate from “between the lines”. I believe they are crucial to a cutting-edge understanding of child development:
The child is half mom and half dad. The job of a child growing up is to discover whom it is. Who is it? It is half mom and half dad. It is not the better parent. It is both parents, warts and all. So we are not talking about fathers’ rights, mothers’ rights or even the child’s right to both parents. We are talking about a new paradigm: the child’s right to both halves of itself. Psychological stability seems to emanate from the child knowing both parts of itself.
Got anything from an unbiased source?
