Well, the word is most commonly used to refer to people who believe that gods don't exist.
It's used that way by some people. It's used to refer to people who do not believe in gods by others. Some people use it to mean "an evil godless person who hates religion." If you want to reject that last definition, fine, but I'd be interested to hear why you think we can't use the "do not believe" definition; many do.
Wait. You think that the answer to a bad argument is to accept it, and change a definition of a word in order to avoid having to accept its conclusion?
Wouldn't it just be easier, and more informative, to simply state why it's a bad argument?
I was foreshadowing a bit in my last post. Until I've actually heard some new argument for God, I don't know for certain that it's bad. Now, based on the track record I've observed for arguments for God - every one I've ever seen has been fatally flawed - I'm not holding out much hope that the next argument I hear will be good, but I still haven't heard it yet.
Here's the argument, as you have phrased it: "you've never rejected or even heard my slightly different version of some worn-out argument for God so you can't call yourself 'atheist'" claim. The fact that I've never heard it means I haven't explicitly rejected it, but this also means I haven't accepted it."
It sounds like you actually accept this as a valid argument.
I accept that this is a problem for those who want to define atheism in terms of rejection of gods. Even the average theist rejects MOST gods.
Here are some responses you could give:
1. No, I do not need to know every specific god (or specific argument for god) in order to have a general god concept (or experience with enough arguments to know how they go) to come to the conclusion that nothing I would put in the category "god" does exist.
I don't have a "general god concept". Do you? If you do, can you tell me what qualifies as a god and what doesn't?
And the way you've phrased things there actually matches with my definition of "atheist", not yours: if someone has merely never accepted any gods, then it's true that nothing they have concluded exists would be put in the category "god".
Another way to think of the process you're describing is to imagine two sets inside a person's mind: "things he believes exists" and "things he considers gods". If there are any items that are common to both sets, then the person is a theist. If there are no items common to both sets, the person is an atheist. Do you agree that this matches with what you describe?
This is just like I do not need to eat every type of pear to know that I do not like pears, or to hear every ghost story to know that I do not believe in ghosts.
If I asked you "what do you mean by 'pear' or 'ghost'?" You could probably tell me.
What do you mean by "god"?
2. My current beliefs are not set in stone. They are subject to change and new information. If, at some point in the future, I discover a new god concept or argument or evidence that I find convincing, my beliefs may very well change. However, possibility of change does not negate my current set of beliefs.
For example, right now, I do not believe that intelligent alien life exists. But, if some time in the future, intelligent alien life makes itself known to humankind, then my belief will change. I do not have to consider myself agnostic in regards to intelligent-alien-life just on the off-chance that my beliefs will change in the future. Likewise, with gods.
Sure, but assuming that you will someday believe in this alien life, you probably haven't rejected the concept or argument that will one day convince you that they exist. You probably have not rejected that particular nuance of the "intelligent alien" concept even today, so we can't say that you've currently rejected this concept altogether. However, because you haven't accepted it yet, we can say you don't believe in intelligent aliens.
You don't believe in intelligent aliens until you do believe in them, just like you're an atheist until you become a theist.