I may appreciate criticism or even benefit from it, but I never like it.
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Are people right when they talk about you?
- Thread starter Unveiled Artist
- Start date
For obvious reasons, I find it wise to take counsel of criticisms of me that are offered in good faith and with good intent. For equally obvious reasons, I find it wise to treat the remainder as butt-wipe. That is, not even to be examined, just discarded.
stvdv
Veteran Member
Are people right when they talk about you?
Hence the Wise instruct us to solve just one question
"Who Am I"
Solve this question solves the OP's question
Even if solved a little; know the difference between "I am" and "I have" in this context
You create this problem yourself, by this line
You solve this problem yourself, by this line
Hence the Wise instruct us to solve just one question
"Who Am I"
Solve this question solves the OP's question
Even if solved a little; know the difference between "I am" and "I have" in this context
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
That's the point though. Why keep the ones you like and discard the ones you don't? Isn't there some truth in the latter maybe one wouldn't pick cause of our biases with the source maybe?
A Vestigial Mote
Well-Known Member
I would actually like to know what negative things are said about me. I don't ever overhear or get reported to by anyone who overheard or was talked to about me in some negative way. I do get approached directly by people who try and pin this or that on me, with some negative connotation. To be sure, I take them to task heartily if I find them to be incorrect, and perhaps apologize, or attempt some other means of making amends if I find they are correct. And maybe that's why I don't hear these sorts of things secondhand... people know they can come to me with any criticisms, and it does not jeopardize our relationship from my end - even if I argue that they are incorrect. To take offense at such things is petty, in my opinion... and I try not to do "petty."
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Hmm. Nice. One thing I hate is when someone doesn't talk to me personally about something wrong with me. I'm more upset with that then the comment itself. Usually, whatever is said is my issue to work with just the deliver doesn't always go to well.
stvdv
Veteran Member
I expected you to ask for clarification. Yes, a bit tricky (I have black
). When I was young I always said "stvdv is black, instead of I". Some small kids still understand they are not the body, nor the name. That way you will never feel hurt, because you are none of the things they accuse you of. They are just giving some opinions. Their opinions just tell us something about them.Her points, why she did not like you:
1) "You are gay"
2) "You are black"
3) "You are American"
4) "You are non-Catholic"
5) "You have behavioral issues due to disability"
IMO:
All I see here is: Ignorance, arrogance, belittling, discrimination, lack of love/empathy/compassion, Spiritual Ego etc.etc.
Someone making these comments is not worth your company, can't be called friend, better be avoided, IF you have self respect
She has ZERO point with any of these things
AND: You can boomerang them all back to her, because she has PLENTY points to work on
BUT: Because there is spiritual ego, probably she will never learn, so don't hold your breath
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
I expected you to ask for clarification. Yes, a bit tricky (I have black
Her points, why she did not like you:
1) "You are gay"
2) "You are black"
3) "You are American"
4) "You are non-Catholic"
5) "You have behavioral issues due to disability"
IMO:
All I see here is: Ignorance, arrogance, belittling, discrimination, lack of love/empathy/compassion, Spiritual Ego etc.etc.
Someone making these comments is not worth your company, can't be called friend, better be avoided, IF you have self respect
She has ZERO point with any of these things
AND: You can boomerang them all back to her, because she has PLENTY points to work on
BUT: Because there is spiritual ego, probably she will never learn, so don't hold your breath
Spiritual ego sounds about right. Kind of like a tug of ear in trying to worship but then realizing she has negative issues with gay, black, non Catholic Americans.
To tell you honest, saying "unvelied is American" rather than I makes it sound like I'm talking about someone else. I get the philosophy behind it but the grammar is throwing it off. Maybe it translates better with it's context in another language?
stvdv
Veteran Member
Exactly that is the point. You talk about someone else.
You also say:
"this is my body, so you are not the body"
"this is my mind/thought, so you are not the mind/thought"
"this is my (body)color, so you are not a (body)color"
So, it is just incorrect to say "I am American", instead you better say:
"This is my nationality, so you are not a nationality"
I agree, that at first it sounds funny, but after some practice you get the hang of it
We have all been brainwashed with "body identification"; some for many decades
It's well known that it takes years to deprogram brainwashed people
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
Exactly that is the point. You talk about someone else.
You also say:
"this is my body, so you are not the body"
"this is my mind/thought, so you are not the mind/thought"
"this is my (body)color, so you are not a (body)color"
So, it is just incorrect to say "I am American", instead you better say:
"This is my nationality, so you are not a nationality"
I agree, that at first it sounds funny, but after some practice you get the hang of it
We have all been brainwashed with "body identification"; some for many decades
It's well known that it takes years to deprogram brainwashed people
Can one use I am- as a grammar thing but still know the limitations of grammar insofar he knows there is no I am- even when he uses language?
I'm being picky and optimist but surely people know that language doesn't need to define a person. Right?
I am American is the same as this is my nationality. We're not defined by our citizenship and/or native place of birth but the usage of I am is just saying Jan isn't American. John isn't. "We're talking about me (pronoun rather identity).
In context, right?
If someone offers a criticism in bad faith and with ill intent, how can it possibly be valuable to me? Obviously, such a criticism would be abusive. Are you asking people to condone abuse?
If we are honest with ourselves - first requirement for being honest with others perhaps - then we will recognise any criticisms for their truthfulness and accuracy or not - and doing whatever is necessary to address such, if needed. We are more likely to take onboard these from those we know and value, especially close friends, but overall I believe how we respond to such is more about our sense of autonomy and feelings of self-worth. That is, do we know ourselves better than anyone else and do we accept that we are what we are, are accepting of this, and this will not cause us to have any internal issues as to worrying, projecting, etc., or having constant feelings of not being good enough. I probably did have a period when this did occur but thankfully that has long passed.
I have no particular issues with those friends I have lost over the years, most just due to the normal ageing process, but a few from how they might have changed their perception of me, but I still have friends who I value and seem to value me, and to be honest I have enough autonomy to be self-sustaining so has not to require feedback as to how valued I might or might not be. How any others see me I'm not that bothered about, as if one judges someone on a very little (supposed) knowledge then that basically defines them - as not being that relevant to one.
oldbadger
Skanky Old Mongrel!
Are people right when they talk about you?
I don't always get to hear.
Many years ago my wife worked in a large office. Her colleagues would often come to work angry at their husbands and would tell stories about what they had done, or said, and before long the employees had come to learn EVERY BAD THING about some of the husbands.
And then these employees would bring these same husbands (they only had one each) to company social functions. The employee wives would hold husband's hands, smile sweetly in to their faces, all previous niggles long forgot.
But the rest of the gathering would look so sternly at these husbands that they wouldn't know what the hell was happening.
Even husbands of other employees would stare sternly at other husbands because (of course) the employees were bringing back the stories to tell at home.
Amazing! You could have two husbands, both totally destroyed by back-chat, treating each other as bad folks because each had heard about the other's nasty behaviour.
In this case all the employees just happened to be female...... this can easily happen the other way round.
Oh....... and 'No', I didn't get the freeze-out treatment. So if you go to such functions this can give a rough idea about what your relatives might say (or not) to colleagues.
Great fun!
I don't always get to hear.
Many years ago my wife worked in a large office. Her colleagues would often come to work angry at their husbands and would tell stories about what they had done, or said, and before long the employees had come to learn EVERY BAD THING about some of the husbands.
And then these employees would bring these same husbands (they only had one each) to company social functions. The employee wives would hold husband's hands, smile sweetly in to their faces, all previous niggles long forgot.
But the rest of the gathering would look so sternly at these husbands that they wouldn't know what the hell was happening.
Even husbands of other employees would stare sternly at other husbands because (of course) the employees were bringing back the stories to tell at home.
Amazing! You could have two husbands, both totally destroyed by back-chat, treating each other as bad folks because each had heard about the other's nasty behaviour.
In this case all the employees just happened to be female...... this can easily happen the other way round.
Oh....... and 'No', I didn't get the freeze-out treatment. So if you go to such functions this can give a rough idea about what your relatives might say (or not) to colleagues.
Great fun!
Terrywoodenpic
Oldest Heretic
I am totally oblivious what any one might think or say about me.
I do not seek it out.
No doubt I am the butt of a few jokes and other normal reasons for discussion.
but it has rarely been a matter that I was either aware of or, of any great concern.
It is what everyone does, and everyone is the target of, from time to time.
I once had a superior who did his best to undermine me, however any harm he may have done was reversed by the managing director who saw things very differently. However rivalries and internal politics run though all large companies and are the norm, not something to be taken personally.
Strangely I had had quite a few confrontations with the MD when he was a line director.
I do not seek it out.
No doubt I am the butt of a few jokes and other normal reasons for discussion.
but it has rarely been a matter that I was either aware of or, of any great concern.
It is what everyone does, and everyone is the target of, from time to time.
I once had a superior who did his best to undermine me, however any harm he may have done was reversed by the managing director who saw things very differently. However rivalries and internal politics run though all large companies and are the norm, not something to be taken personally.
Strangely I had had quite a few confrontations with the MD when he was a line director.
People will judge me the way they view me from their own perspective. If someone points out a fault, I evaluate if it's a behavioral fault from an impartial perspective and come to my own conclusion on whether the person's assessment is correct or incorrect.
If it's a behavioral fault, and they are correct from this perspective, and take steps to adjust my behavior.
If it's a behavioral fault, and they are incorrect from this perspective, I accept that this is this person's opinion of me, and it is correct from their own perspective, and I move on.
If it's a non-behavioral fault that lies beyond my control, their judgment is irrelevant to me.
Their perspective needn't affect mine or that of others.
PureX
Veteran Member
I think any such input should be considered before it's rejected as inaccurate. But realistically, as opposed to emotionally, if possible.
stvdv
Veteran Member
You can use whatever you like. It's just about awareness.
99.99% of the people are not self realized, hence they lack awareness. That is all what I pointed out
Do they know? (retorical)
Almost nobody is Self Realized.
There is a difference
Is a tricky thing to understand
Yoga Vasistha says that it takes a long time to "get it"
You can't just "get it" by having someone explain it to you
Unveiled Artist
Veteran Member
The English language doesn't separate "I am" from whatever I-am is referring to. The meaning can be taken in different contexts. but the language is direct in this case.
Sounds like original sin to be honest. I believe we all are just we are learning to recognize what's already in us. That's probably the essence of meditation and Practice. Not "achieving" to be someone but to live as the person you are already. Be the action not the achieve noun.
It's the language not the definition and context. I get what you're saying, just the language doesn't reflect the context of what you're describing. So, saying I-am to most people know they aren't the thing or idea they are attributing "I am" too. Most believe they have an inner soul or something (or so have you) that represents their core selves and nationality, age, things like that are descriptions of their physical self but not their awareness, soul, or however they describe it. Of course not every person sees things like this. I wouldn't say they are not self-aware but just their method or view of themselves (English-Who they are I guess or their awareness) is different than the person beside them.