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Are there Reasonable Moral Grounds to Oppose Open Relationships and Marriages?

Badran

Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
Are there any reasonable moral grounds to oppose open relationships and marriages? If so what are those reasonable moral grounds?
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I can't think of any, today. But i think if we consider it in different times the result would at least be quite different in some regards. Thats not saying it would be necessarily immoral, but rather much, much more difficult and complicated. And i think personally it probably would be immoral in certain times, considering the mess it would possibly create.

Or at least if not outright immoral in those instances, perhaps not encouraged, or not the best rout to take.
 
Badran

Badran

Veteran Member
Premium Member
By the way i'm assuming that you're talking about committing to more than one person, thats what i'm addressing this based on.
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
When it comes to consenting adults, I don't care who sleeps with who. I mean, personally their actions may disgust me, but it's their own business. And they could say the same about me.

What's reasonable to me morally may not mean a hill of beans to someone else. So it's pretty much impossible for me to try to convince someone that my moral objections to open marriages or relationships are "reasonable." But one thing's for sure - I won't be with someone that I have to "convince" to be monogamous.

There may not be many men who feel the same way, but that's ok - I only need one.

I oppose open marriage or an open relationship - in my own life. My opposition to it personally is reasonable to me: I don't want that sort of drama in my life, I don't want multiple sexual partners in my intimate life due to concerns about STDs, jealousy (from any party), and interpersonal dynamics (including with children) that I simply wouldn't feel comfortable with and don't want to voluntarily choose to include in my life. I prefer a monogamous relationship, and that's all the reason I need.

Carry on.
 
S

SPACKlick

New Member
I think that reasonable moral grounds could be raised from the hospital scenario.

You have 2 partners, both go into different hospitals with serious conditions, where do you go?
Either way you have someone in need of their partner, in need of love and compassion who you are forced to let down by choosing an other. Because the open relationship necessitates that kind of pain, or at least significantly increases its likelihood, i think you can make a moral case against it.
 
Karl R

Karl R

Active Member
Pegg said:
children would grow up thinking that commitment and loyalty is unnecessary. That could adversely affect their relationships in the future...and if they have children of their own, their lack of commitment to the other parent may cause them to abandon their own children.
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I know someone who grew up in a polyamorous household. The man he considers to be his father is not his biological father. He refers to his biological father as his "sire". While his biological father was present in his life, his main lasting influence was introducing him to role-playing games.

I wouldn't describe my acquaintance as normal, but he's sufficiently well-adjusted be a decent member of society. He's also a firm believer in polyamorous relationships.
 
Father Heathen

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
Sunstone said:
Are there any reasonable moral grounds to oppose open relationships and marriages? If so what are those reasonable moral grounds?
Click to expand...

Nope. As long as all involved are informed, consenting adults and that everything done is in uncoerced, mutual agreement.
 
J

Johnathan

Member
I would argue that there is no moral reason to oppose any type of sexuality, except padeophilia.

However, I would say homophobia is fundamentally immoral. It is also an acute type of bigotry that is irrational.
 
Father Heathen

Father Heathen

Veteran Member
Pegg said:
children would grow up thinking that commitment and loyalty is unnecessary. That could adversely affect their relationships in the future...and if they have children of their own, their lack of commitment to the other parent may cause them to abandon their own children.
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I hope they realize in JW land that a relationship with ones lover is vastly different than a relationship with ones child. That aside, why can't someone be loyal or committed to more than one person at a time?
 
D

darkstar

Member
Actually I can weigh in on this with personal experience.

The issues that come out of this are mostly from our views on sex and love as a society.

My wife and I have a pretty open relationship. We both have permission to pursue any actions with anyone we want, as long as there is complete open and honest disclosure. This doesn't mean we don't love each other. I would never leave my wife for anyone, she would never leave me. And trust me, people have tried to get us to.

Jealousy is a big issue. Not between us, but other people. We haven't actually done much with anyone else because honestly, most people aren't well adjusted enough. I've had several women go all crazy stalked on me without even knowing I have a pretty open relationship. Makes me kinda gun shy.

Our view of sex has been molded to say "You shouldn't have premarrital sex, and you should never stray outside your marriage."
Ok, that's fine if you're of a Faith that says no and you believe in that go ahead.
In my opinion people put WAY too much emphasis on sexual relations and the word love. To the point that I don't think people know what love is anymore.

I personally believe that one must decide for themselves. I do not see it being as much of an issue, considering many couples cheat on each other anyway. Our country loves to make money off of this. Talk shows that focus on cheating spouses and lie detector tests.
And websites that have slogans saying "have an affair" are quite common.

Personally I see a commited and loving relationship with an agreement to be honest and open to possibilities to be much more civilized.

Feel free to ask any questions you want about the subject. Keep in mind we are not singers, we don't have constant random sex.
 
Banner

Banner

Member
Very interesting darkstar,
I'll start out by saying that the idea of open relationships and polyamory are attractive to me in theory but I've wondered what it really takes for it to work. I'm curious about the sexual aspect. Is sex with your wife deeper or emotional but not with the others? Or is sex just sex all the way around? I'm not sure if I'm being clear.
 
D

darkstar

Member
Banner said:
Very interesting darkstar,
I'll start out by saying that the idea of open relationships and polyamory are attractive to me in theory but I've wondered what it really takes for it to work. I'm curious about the sexual aspect. Is sex with your wife deeper or emotional but not with the others? Or is sex just sex all the way around? I'm not sure if I'm being clear.
Click to expand...

Yes relations with someone you love is much different.

What it takes to make it work is complete trust and honesty. Love, and a level of maturity that many people unfortunately don't have. Changing your concepts of sex and love don't hurt either.
 
Banner

Banner

Member
I have heard it described the way you do and I can respect that but I guess I'm just trying to understand your feelings about sex on a deeper level. Trying to understand how you separate it. Do you understand what I mean?
 
Songbird

Songbird

She rules her life like a bird in flight
darkstar said:
Actually I can weigh in on this with personal experience.

The issues that come out of this are mostly from our views on sex and love as a society.

My wife and I have a pretty open relationship. We both have permission to pursue any actions with anyone we want, as long as there is complete open and honest disclosure. This doesn't mean we don't love each other. I would never leave my wife for anyone, she would never leave me. And trust me, people have tried to get us to.

Jealousy is a big issue. Not between us, but other people. We haven't actually done much with anyone else because honestly, most people aren't well adjusted enough. I've had several women go all crazy stalked on me without even knowing I have a pretty open relationship. Makes me kinda gun shy.

Our view of sex has been molded to say "You shouldn't have premarrital sex, and you should never stray outside your marriage."
Ok, that's fine if you're of a Faith that says no and you believe in that go ahead.
In my opinion people put WAY too much emphasis on sexual relations and the word love. To the point that I don't think people know what love is anymore.
I personally believe that one must decide for themselves. I do not see it being as much of an issue, considering many couples cheat on each other anyway. Our country loves to make money off of this. Talk shows that focus on cheating spouses and lie detector tests.
And websites that have slogans saying "have an affair" are quite common.

Personally I see a commited and loving relationship with an agreement to be honest and open to possibilities to be much more civilized.

Feel free to ask any questions you want about the subject. Keep in mind we are not singers, we don't have constant random sex.
Click to expand...

Great points and IMO, realistic views.
 
Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
darkstar said:
What it takes to make it work is complete trust and honesty. Love, and a level of maturity that many people unfortunately don't have. Changing your concepts of sex and love don't hurt either.
Click to expand...

The same could be said for monogamous relationships.
 
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