Are Your Kids Having Sex?

[HonestJoe]

At 1:26 she says she wants her daughters to ........"Care for the person or people you are with"
At 1:46 she says that sex can go wrong for young ones if they "do not have a safe or private place to play".
Teenage sex is merely play in her view. While this advice may make her daughters feel somewhat safe and supported while being sluts it will not help to make them responsible moral adults.

I think you’re giving too much significance to the single word “play” there. I think in the wider context, she certainly isn’t saying sex is merely play but she is recognising that reality that sex can be enjoyable fun as well as functional. Words like “explore” or “learn” could have been used to express the same idea and it certainly doesn’t exclude doing that with a single committed partner.

I think your leaping to the word “****” is more significant and demonstrates the exact problem she is talking about. If you tell young people that sex it dirty and wrong, that anyone (at least any girl) who does it is an evil sinning ****, you’re not going to stop them having sex but you might stop them having it in exactly the kind of safe and stable environment we’d all prefer. Also, as I’ve already hinted, I very much doubt you’d use the same word or even have quite the same attitude if she had been talking about sons rather than daughters, another element of this problem.

Edit to confirm that "sluts" is OK but "****" (the singular of the same word) is moderated?!?

Further edit - Hah!

 

[Moz]

I think you’re giving too much significance to the single word “play” there. I think in the wider context, she certainly isn’t saying sex is merely play but she is recognising that reality that sex can be enjoyable fun as well as functional. Words like “explore” or “learn” could have been used to express the same idea and it certainly doesn’t exclude doing that with a single committed partner.

I think your leaping to the word “****” is more significant and demonstrates the exact problem she is talking about. If you tell young people that sex it dirty and wrong, that anyone (at least any girl) who does it is an evil sinning ****, you’re not going to stop them having sex but you might stop them having it in exactly the kind of safe and stable environment we’d all prefer. Also, as I’ve already hinted, I very much doubt you’d use the same word or even have quite the same attitude if she had been talking about sons rather than daughters, another element of this problem.

Edit to confirm that "sluts" is OK but "****" (the singular of the same word) is moderated?!?

Further edit - Hah!

she is recognising that reality that sex can be enjoyable fun as well as functional.

Functional.... what is functional about sex when discussing it with teenagers?
Unless you think the function is to exchange bodily fluids with the aim of immediate personal gratification.
The function of sex is to bind two bodies into one life, that is why the biblical invocation is ........Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. The function of sex is NOT the orgasm, that is just an added bonus.
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If you tell young people that sex it dirty and wrong,
Where in anything that i wrote did i imply that sex was dirty or wrong? It is a very uniformed view to think that the religious objection is rooted in the act itself. That is just an old wives tale that atheists tell themselves. In reality religious people have been having sex for thousands of years without to many upsets.
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that anyone (at least any girl) who does it is an evil sinning ****, you’re not going to stop them having sex but you might stop them having it in exactly the kind of safe and stable environment we’d all prefer.
It is not about stopping anything it is about giving the RIGHT message. Harm minimization is a poor strategy to employ as the first line of defense. Yes some kids will ignore the message but as popeye posted earlier... 45% of 18 year old's are still virgins so it is by no means a landslide. It seems that self control is entirely possible. Why should that not be the target we have our kids aim for.
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Also, as I’ve already hinted, I very much doubt you’d use the same word or even have quite the same attitude if she had been talking about sons rather than daughters, another element of this problem
Hint all you want..... if you had bothered to pose it as a question you would have found that you are wrong. The only reason i gave it a female angle was because she was discussing daughters.

 

[HonestJoe]

Functional.... what is functional about sex when discussing it with teenagers?

Her message to them isn’t just about sex while they’re teenagers but for their whole life. It’s also important to know the purpose of sex is having children even if (especially if) that isn’t your current intention. Again, you were reading a whole lot in to a single choice of word and not considering the general message.

Where in anything that i wrote did i imply that sex was dirty or wrong?

Your implication was that by having sex, her teenage daughters would be being sluts. Why even bring up the word if that isn’t what you meant?

It is not about stopping anything it is about giving the RIGHT message. Harm minimization is a poor strategy to employ as the first line of defense. Yes some kids will ignore the message but as popeye posted earlier... 45% of 18 year old's are still virgins so it is by no means a landslide. It seems that self control is entirely possible. Why should that not be the target we have our kids aim for.

Your method is harm minimisation too, just a more all-or-nothing effort. Nowhere in the video does she demand or force her daughters to have sex the moment the come of age and the kind of message that includes finding the right person, time and place for you essentially encourages not rushing in to it. I’m not convinced parents telling their children never to have sex until they’re married is especially effective and if that’s all you tell them, those who choose rebel are going to be at much greater risk.

Hint all you want..... if you had bothered to pose it as a question you would have found that you are wrong. The only reason i gave it a female angle was because she was discussing daughters.

Do you have any examples of you calling men sluts for having consensual sex before marriage? Do you deny that there has been a long cultural theme of treating males and females entirely differently in this context, one that continues to have a massive influence on us all. I totally recognise that if the woman had sons, her video would be different, my reaction would be different and your reaction would be different. Recognising that we have a problem is the first step in resolving it.

 

[Moz]

Her message to them isn’t just about sex while they’re teenagers but for their whole life. It’s also important to know the purpose of sex is having children even if (especially if) that isn’t your current intention. Again, you were reading a whole lot in to a single choice of word and not considering the general message.

Your implication was that by having sex, her teenage daughters would be being sluts. Why even bring up the word if that isn’t what you meant?

Your method is harm minimisation too, just a more all-or-nothing effort. Nowhere in the video does she demand or force her daughters to have sex the moment the come of age and the kind of message that includes finding the right person, time and place for you essentially encourages not rushing in to it. I’m not convinced parents telling their children never to have sex until they’re married is especially effective and if that’s all you tell them, those who choose rebel are going to be at much greater risk.

Do you have any examples of you calling men sluts for having consensual sex before marriage? Do you deny that there has been a long cultural theme of treating males and females entirely differently in this context, one that continues to have a massive influence on us all. I totally recognise that if the woman had sons, her video would be different, my reaction would be different and your reaction would be different. Recognising that we have a problem is the first step in resolving it.

Her message to them isn’t just about sex while they’re teenagers but for their whole life. It’s also important to know the purpose of sex is having children even if (especially if) that isn’t your current intention. Again, you were reading a whole lot in to a single choice of word and not considering the general message.
The general message is that sex ok for teenagers to engage in. (The reason seems to be if we tell them not to it will happen anyway so we might as well accept it) I think that is the wrong message. I think the social disintegration we have seen since the 60's shows this.
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Your implication was that by having sex, her teenage daughters would be being sluts. Why even bring up the word if that isn’t what you meant?

Well i suppose there is a tendency to use hyperbole and contentious wording on these sort of pages so as to generate lively debate.

From Wikipedia..... **** is generally a term for a woman or girl who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. From the late 20th century, there have been attempts to reclaim the word, exemplified by various SlutWalk parades, and some individuals embrace the title as a source of pride.

It seems funny that the term "sexual morals" is used when it seems that in the modern day sexuality and morality have very little overlap.
In your enlightened view what does the term "Sexual Morals" refer too?
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Your method is harm minimisation too, just a more all-or-nothing effort.
No it is actually harm elimination if you want to be precise.
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Nowhere in the video does she demand or force her daughters to have sex the moment the come of age and the kind of message that includes finding the right person,
The right person or people, just to be precise.
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time and place for you essentially encourages not rushing in to it.
And this encourages restraint... really?
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I’m not convinced parents telling their children never to have sex until they’re married is especially effective
Well if we have 45% of 18 year old's remaining virgins then why would you side with the 55%. Change 5 in 100 and we are at 50/50. maybe we could get to 80/20 or something like that. That's not such a bad thing is it?
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and if that’s all you tell them, those who choose rebel are going to be at much greater risk.
Well fair enough. If you tell them NO and that is all you ever say you may have a point. Of course i said nothing even remotely implying that sexual matters should not be discussed. They should just be discussed with a different impetus.
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Do you have any examples of you calling men sluts for having consensual sex before marriage?
0499180727...that's my little brothers number you can call him and ask if you want.
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Do you deny that there has been a long cultural theme of treating males and females entirely differently in this context, one that continues to have a massive influence on us all.
Hmmmm... a cultural theme. Okey Dokey. But you do know that culture is not morality right.
On a personal level i deny absolutely that this is my bias. male and female are absolutely equal in this stuff.
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I totally recognise that if the woman had sons, her video would be different, my reaction would be different and your reaction would be different.
You say this as if you are being magnanimous somehow. My reaction would be completely the same ..... i wonder why you would see it as different.
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Recognising that we have a problem is the first step in resolving it
The problem you refer to here is not the problem of teenage promiscuity is it.... you are referring to the problem of boys being treated differently to girls by patriarchal oppression. You are buying into a flawed narrative pushed by an ideology.

 

[Shad]

Well that is a well trodden stereotype of the teenage girl using sex for popularity and power although in most of those stories it is never a positive thing and usually ends in tears and some catastrophe or another.

I am speaking of experience especially that of HS. I am not saying all girls are like that. I am saying some are.

Although i am sure the mother on the video is not encouraging that sort of behaviour. She just wants her teenagers to be able to play at sex in a safe place and not feel pressured or judged about anything the poor dears chose to do.

The problem is how the people use sex. Again based on experience.

Although thinking of myself as a 16 year old boy again,with a sexually confident 16 year old girl who's mother has told her that anal and oral are all on the table and she can bring anyone she "cares for" home for a comfy bed is ..... well i do not know what the hell it is but it's not good.

Just a form of enabling. In my view it is like parents that let their kids do drugs and drink while providing a space to do it. They do not adjust the core behavior they just enable it

 

[Sand Dancer]

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A public service video of sorts

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So, do you agree with this "liberal" attitude? If not, why not?


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To pretend kids are not having sex is dangerous. Sadly, my kid is having sex. Not at this very moment, I hope.