You are conflating a crutch with a cure. You may have switched to a better addiction, but you still appear to be dependent. Your fear of drugs is well founded. That is probably why you refuse to reason when it comes to your faith. But you keep refuting your own belief with your various claims here.
As the saying goes "None are so blind as those that will not see".
How would you properly test your beliefs?
“You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You. Trust in the LORD forever, For in YAH, the LORD, is everlasting strength.”
Isaiah 26:3-4 NKJV
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6 NKJV
“He who is of a proud heart stirs up strife, But he who trusts in the LORD will be prospered. He who trusts in his own heart is a fool, But whoever walks wisely will be delivered.”
Proverbs 28:25-26 NKJV