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Ask anything from a third time victim of narcissistic abuse

Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Sunstone said:
What does it do to you to be abused by a narcissist?
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The core idea in the abuse is to inflict shame on the victim. Because the narcissist - thou he never is ashamed of his deeds is always deeply ashamed of himself. When they find a person they feel inferior to for some reason they attack them trying to make them feel ashamed and powerless so as to control them and hence feel superior. They also use these victims as baits to gather attention to themselves and to control others around them. The controlling is by no means limited to the 'main' victim.

The abuse usually causes the victim feelings of shame, humiliation, hopelessness, powerlessness, that they are no longer capable of trusting their sense of reality. They may feel at times that they are going insane. For instance watch Hitchcock's film Gaslight where the man does to the woman such things that a narcissist does to their victim.
 
Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
Armoured said:
What insult?

If you've been the victim of narcissists 3 times before and don't want to be again, stop doing the thing that brings you into close involvement with narcissists. If you don't mind it happening a 4th time, keep doing the same thing, I guess.

Hey, you know a good word for people who perceive any criticism, even concerned, supportive and constructive criticism, as an insult?
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When I see some one saying something alike to what I just said, it would not even occurs to me to criticise them without understanding the topic, the person and the world. Your criticism is sharp and yet stands miles away from me and this topic and my situation. But most of all the topic title says "ask anything" not "here is my life in two words, what do you think?"

And I know narcissistic abuse farewell. Your "criticism" IS insulting. It mocks the seriousness of the problem, degrades the victim, and ignores the monster.
 
YmirGF

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
Shushersbedamned said:
Narcissistic abuse here referrs to abuse inflicted by a person suffering of a narcissistic personality disorder.
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A serious question that I'm not so sure many here can offer a meaningful answer to. Is this a case of consistent abuse (every time you encounter the person) or is it something you unconsciously trigger in an otherwise stable person that causes them to flip out on you?
 
Shushersbedamned

Shushersbedamned

Well-Known Member
YmirGF said:
A serious question that I'm not so sure many here can offer a meaningful answer to. Is this a case of consistent abuse (every time you encounter the person) or is it something you unconsciously trigger in an otherwise stable person that causes them to flip out on you? What was the response from the PD when you called them?
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If it is by someone with the personality disorder (that's what PD stands for) the abuse is just about always consistent and goes on until the narcissist cannot reach you. I.e. has nothing to do with you or with anyone you ever have anything to do with.

What question?:shrug:
 
YmirGF

YmirGF

Bodhisattva in Recovery
Shushersbedamned said:
If it is by someone with the personality disorder (that's what PD stands for) the abuse is just about always consistent and goes on until the narcissist cannot reach you. I.e. has nothing to do with you or with anyone you ever have anything to do with.

What question?:shrug:
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Apologies, I still have the flu and had woken 10 minutes before. My brain locked on "police department". LOL.
In my own case, I extracted myself from their orbit as it is impossible to dialogue with them about their actions. If you can imagine, I actually called the police about my roommate stating flat out that I thinking of killing him and did they have any advice? (It was the non-emergency number, btw.) The officer was really cool about the whole thing. He insisted I had to get away asap if that was how I was feeling. I did and have never looked back.
 
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Kangaroo Feathers

Kangaroo Feathers

Yea, it is written in the Book of Cyril...
Shushersbedamned said:
When I see some one saying something alike to what I just said, it would not even occurs to me to criticise them without understanding the topic, the person and the world. Your criticism is sharp and yet stands miles away from me and this topic and my situation. But most of all the topic title says "ask anything" not "here is my life in two words, what do you think?"
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I understand the topic just fine. But OK, if you only want questions, "what are you doing that leads you to being the victim of narcissists so often?"
And I know narcissistic abuse farewell. Your "criticism" IS insulting. It mocks the seriousness of the problem, degrades the victim, and ignores the monster.
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Nonsense.
 
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