It look like non believers/atheists are a problem for you? And actually how you describe this time and time again, only show that it is within your own mind the problem arise. You creating the problem and the evil from within in you.
Atheism is just a kack of faith/belief in a God/creator
CT, I like how you are looking to sort out your beliefs, can be honest with what YOU believe in, but give other people the respect to make their own choices and live with their own consequences.
I think that is a noteworthy quality of yours, and something I see as mature and decent.