atheist dating a christian

[Dezzie]

Some things will be hard but that doesn't mean the relationship won't work. My Fiance and I have had these problems but we have communicated about these things on various occasions. If this person is so much like you, they should be open enough to accept who you are. It took a little while for my Fiance to feel 100% comfortable with what I believed but he understands now. Everything is as great as ever.

One of the biggest issues people let happen are the wars between their differences in opinion. There is nothing wrong with being different. If everyone was the exact same in everything, we would all be extremely boring. My relationship worked out better than I ever could have asked for. I guess it just depends on each person and how they feel.

Good luck to you and your relationship. I hope these differences blow over for you both and everything works out.

 

[enchanted_one1975]

I was a Christian...then I fell in love with a Wiccan. While she did not intend or even try to change me, I did some research to find out what her religion was all about. Wouldn't you know it? I fell in love with Wicca too. There is a reason for everything. I would definitely discuss religion with her if you are serious about the relationship going anywhere. Some people actually expect their significant other to convert for them. It is rare that that happens and when it does it is even more rare that it happens sincerely.

 

[KarlVonMox]

Thanks again for all the responses.

I do think its worth going for, given that I like this one a lot and she doesn't seem to have a problem. Its early in the relationship and I plan to take it slow, but I have a good feeling she is thinking long-term in her mind.

People on this forum will see that I have some pretty strong viewpoints on what atheism is, religion, etc. I don't know how much or how fast I should expose her to my points of view on these things, but I think she'll get bits a pieces perhaps.

 

[challupa]

Thanks again for all the responses.

I do think its worth going for, given that I like this one a lot and she doesn't seem to have a problem. Its early in the relationship and I plan to take it slow, but I have a good feeling she is thinking long-term in her mind.

People on this forum will see that I have some pretty strong viewpoints on what atheism is, religion, etc. I don't know how much or how fast I should expose her to my points of view on these things, but I think she'll get bits a pieces perhaps.

My daughter and I have had this talk because she is living commonlaw with a Catholic man. He is not a "practicing" catholic at this point, but his family is definite strong catholic. She is concerned about her children being told about heaven and hell. That bothers her because she doesn't want them frightened. She is not part of any religion so says she doesn't mind if her children become Catholic except for that one feature, and it is huge. She is struggling with this alot because she really loves him and he is a great person. If no kids were ever involved, it wouldn't be an issue, but in this case it could become one for that reason. However, someone else here pointed out (Dallas I think) that there is always something that will cause division and that is quite true. It may mean working harder at compromise, but I think it can be done.

 

[MissAlice]

I've known these kinds of relationships to work out but usually because both partners are respectful and fairly liberal thinkers. I'm a Hindu and I've been with my atheist boyfriend since early last year and we're going strong. We have discussed our beliefs extensively but so far we have been compatible. You'll just have to get to know her more and see how you both deal with each other's beliefs. Just know that a relationship of this kind is possible.

What Madhuri said.

I don't have any problem with people of a religious faith as long as they can respect my opinions regarding the matter.

 

[Amill]

There are certainly obstacles but I think it's definitely worth the try. It makes me sad to think that some people aren't willing to date people who have different ideas about the cosmos, I'm glad you guys are at least trying!

 

[Dezzie]

There are certainly obstacles but I think it's definitely worth the try. It makes me sad to think that some people aren't willing to date people who have different ideas about the cosmos, I'm glad you guys are at least trying!

It makes me sad too. I am quite in shock honestly.

 

[blackout]

My daughter and I have had this talk because she is living commonlaw with a Catholic man. He is not a "practicing" catholic at this point, but his family is definite strong catholic. She is concerned about her children being told about heaven and hell. That bothers her because she doesn't want them frightened. She is not part of any religion so says she doesn't mind if her children become Catholic except for that one feature, and it is huge. She is struggling with this alot because she really loves him and he is a great person. If no kids were ever involved, it wouldn't be an issue, but in this case it could become one for that reason. However, someone else here pointed out (Dallas I think) that there is always something that will cause division and that is quite true. It may mean working harder at compromise, but I think it can be done.

Yah. I absolutely would not put up with anyone laying the heaven, hell, evil demons trying to tempt you, need for protection/salvation, you were born a sinful worm garbage on my kids. I did that myself for the first few years of my oldest child's life, and while (in the end)the two of us came out of it mostly unscathed, it was a majorly unhealthy way to live.

If I had family telling my kids that stuff, I would have no choice but to take them to task right in front of the kids.

 

[challupa]

Yah. I absolutely would not put up with anyone laying the heaven, hell, evil demons trying to tempt you, need for protection/salvation, you were born a sinful worm garbage on my kids. I did that myself for the first few years of my oldest child's life, and while (in the end)the two of us came out of it mostly unscathed, it was a majorly unhealthy way to live.

If I had family telling my kids that stuff, I would have no choice but to take them to task right in front of the kids.

I just hope it never comes to that. It might though as the mother is a strong catholic. I was raised with that and rebelled against it at a young age. It just didn't seem right to me. If they told me god was loving and forgiving, then the rest just didn't add up for me.

 

[Alceste]

Thanks again for all the responses.

I do think its worth going for, given that I like this one a lot and she doesn't seem to have a problem. Its early in the relationship and I plan to take it slow, but I have a good feeling she is thinking long-term in her mind.

People on this forum will see that I have some pretty strong viewpoints on what atheism is, religion, etc. I don't know how much or how fast I should expose her to my points of view on these things, but I think she'll get bits a pieces perhaps.

To be honest, KVM, having read a few of your posts so far, if it doesn't work out it won't be "because of her beliefs" as you wrote earlier, but because of your intolerance of her beliefs.

I don't mean to be harsh, but a few of your comments thus far indicate that you are not the sort of atheist who simply doesn't happen to believe in a deity or practice a religion (those of us in this category generally have no problem making relationships with believers work) - at this time you are the sort who harbours contempt and hostility for believers and belief. That's gonna be a problem. Either you'll change and become more appreciative of diversity or your relationship will end - and she'll be the one to end it.

That's my prediction, anyway. I once kicked a boyfriend to the curb for saying he thought my beliefs were "silly". I hadn't even shared them with him - I was a shamanistic solo practitioner kind of Taoist thingy with a totally unique, self-constructed apophatic, non-supernatural cosmology that he could not possibly have known anything about. His comment was based solely on the fact that I had an altar in my bedroom. He didn't know what it was for, and didn't ask. He just assumed he already knew, as you are doing, and that it was all nonsense, just as you are assuming.

IMO, you need to get out more. Talk to some believers about what they believe and why before you make up your mind about what believers are like. (This is a good place for that, actually).

 

[MSizer]

I'm curious to know how this develops. I have a friend who started an atheist social group (I help co-oraganize events with him). He's a british born/raised atheist who was exposed to the anglican church back home but it never "sank in" so to speak. Now he's dating a liberal catholic, and she's just moved into his house. She comes out to many of the atheist social nights, although I have noticed some uneasy looks on her face a few times when we have guest speakers going on about how belief in god is not reasonable. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens between them.

On a different note, I was previously engaged to a person who didn't practice religion at all, neither did her parents, but her mother and I argued very often about the fact that I am an "atheist". I used to challenge her by saying "you claim to believe in god, yet you never do anything to show him any respect". Her defacto response was always "I choose to believe in god because could you imagine if I didn't and I was wrong?". Despite the fact that she once called me "f***ing stupid" right to my face, I never did call her the coward that she was. (she also said "I bet your whole family is f***ng stupid just like you are"). Man was she a piece of work. I vowed never to date a believer after that.

 

[mdancer59]

I'm hoping this works out for you. And for me. I'm a rather liberally minded Christian and I just recently started dating my athiest best friend. He was actually raised Catholic and came to stop believing in God because he sees God as heartless. I actually struggle with faith there as well, but I've been athiest before and it was such a lonely way of life for me. So I understand where he is and why he's there. It's never ceased to amaze me how we have some of the same hang ups about Christianity and how despite our serious difference in "religion", our actual personal beliefs aren't terribly different. He believes more like I do than most Christian men I've dated. Because we have mutual respect for each other, a long history together before dating (8 and a half years), and our core beliefs don't seem as different as you might expect, I don't see many of the problems brought up in this forum occuring. The big problem will be my mom. She hates that I'm even friends with him. I'm the only one of my friends ever to date an athiest and she sees athiests as on par with satanists. I'm afraid he will never be accepted into my family as he is. And that is distressing to me. I love my family and I love him. I know my grandparents will accept him, and perhaps even my father, but my mother will do her best to tear us apart. And all that will likely accomplish, is tearing me from my mother.

 

[URAVIP2ME]

I'd like some perspective from the users of this board on something I've been thinking about. Its possible others have dealt with a similar issue, and if so please share it.
Briefly-
I've recently met a girl (2-3 months ago) who I've developed a really nice relationship with. Communication is good and perspectives are similar on a lot of things. The only potential problem is that she is religious, churchgoing, and Catholic. She maintains that religion has gotten her through tough times in her life. I am an atheist, and I always have been. I used to be a lot more militant than I am now, with a more live-and-let-live sortoff attitude (as long as my civil rights are intact and Im not discriminated against). But personally I think the concept of faith is vacuous and unnecessary.
So, do such relationships work? How often? Has anyone dealt with a similar situation before?
discuss!

While friend was attending college in NYC I had the opportunity to play chess with an atheist. We started dating. As an intelligent atheist with an inquiring mind would of course have questions.
Questions I could not answer at that time.
Such as going to the UN Plaza and wondering about the Isaiah Wall with it's verse that nations would turn weapons of war into farming tools. [Isa 2v4]

Because of that atheist I went and purchased a study reference Douay Bible.
After about 6 months we concluded there was no real place for our relationship to continue.
We could Not come to or reach a common ground or ground rules as a sound foundation for which to build a lasting future together.

Nevertheless, enjoyed those 6 months of happy memories.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane.