Both, often. But in either case I will take the time to explain why I think so.
I don't think the source matters. I think it's the logic of it that matters. If the Bible says don't put your hand in the hot grease, or you think of it yourself, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that it's a logical, positively effective, assertion.
Wouldn't logic depend on the person rather than a universal law?
Unless it's mathematics, I'm not sure of anything spiritual, mystic, so have you that has a concrete criteria of logic that one can accept or reject.
Yes, but what matters is that you can clearly explain, and justify, your disagreement. Then it's up to the others what they do with that information. I'm not here to change anyone's mind. I'm just here to share and to debate my thinking, and my reasons for it. After that, everyone will do with that whatever they want. And the same is true for me. I also want to hear other people's thinking, and their reasoning, so that I can choose from it what I find to be useful for me. I'm not here to attack anyone, even if I am "attacking" their reasoning. There's no need for anyone to get all defensive.
But it doesn't sound like you're accepting their justification. Unless they ask you what will you accept, you can either try to understand it or not. Just because it doesn't make sense to you, doesn't mean it doesn't make sense in general.
What do you learn from your debates?
I can't get them to let go of their loathing for the 'artifice', to discuss the actual 'meat' of the issue. They are so intent on attacking the artifice for being artifice that they can't seem to consider discussing anything else.
Why would you get them to stop loathing the artifice?
Many theists Do make the artifice the source as if they were one. So, who can blame atheists for seeing the artifice and not the meat. It's not something They choose but something many of them have been forced to interpret god because of their personal experiences with theists.
I know it's frustrating, but that's just how it is. I know not all atheists have that background, but I assume majority, at least on RF do. The thing is, your view is one of thousands of other views of god. So, maybe talk to them as if you're giving your opinion not correcting them on a personal "fact"?