Awkward, embarrassing and humiliating

[Sunstone]

You have been paying attention. You're very right.

And also very bright for paying attention, if I do say so myself!

*Sings*

He's right!
He's bright!
He's quite a delight!
O why not spend the night!
Loving him by candlelight!

You know you would
If only you could
Ignore his stench
of decaying wood!

O he's right!
He's bright!
He's quite a delight!
Except he stinks
of dirty socks and sinks!

GAWD, Heather, I'm insufferable when you make me happy!

 

[Penumbra]

In high school I had a habit of not really paying attention in class. I figured as long as I get a good grade, then why should the teacher care how I spend my time? So I would typically stare blankly at the wall, or sketch things in my notebook. I had a biology teacher that let me sleep in her class each day.

But I had one teacher that really hated it when I wasn't making eye contact. He called me on it once so I did it for the rest of that class. But the next day I was kind of just staring at the wall again. So, he stopped the whole class, and said,

"Lyn, get up here!"
"What?"
"Come up here."
"Okay."
"Do you know how distracting it is when I'm trying to teach and I have a student who looks like she doesn't want to be here?"
"I was just sitting and-"
"Just sitting and not paying attention! What was the lesson about?"
"Integration by parts."
"Well that doesn't matter, it didn't look like you were paying attention!"
"Sorry."

Then he went and sat down in my seat, and mimicked exactly how I was sitting, with his legs crossed, his arms crossed, and staring with a blank expression to the corner of the room.

So I was just kind of standing up there in front of the class confused, and everyone was giggling.

"Tell the class what you did last weekend. I'm going to sit here and be you."
"What I did during the weekend?"
"Yeah, you're turn to talk."

So he went back to sitting like how I was, purposely not paying attention to me, and everyone was giggling. So, I figured he was trying to embarrass me, so I began calmly explaining everything I did that weekend to make it look like I wasn't embarrassed. After five minutes of me explaining my weekend to a giggling class and a teacher mimicking my posture and not paying attention to me, he finally let me stop, and told me that's what it feels like when I'm just staring off into space.

So I tried to make more eye contact with him in class so that I didn't have to do that again.

 

[DallasApple]

I went down hill snow skiing on the "expert' hill in New York the first time I went skiing in my life cuz I wasn't going on the "bunny hill' because my brother wasn't.The Bunny Hill is for losers and babies..He told me to go on that one he was going on the other one.(his first time skiing too by the way..SKI CLUB)..No I can do it I'm not a baby..

YIKES...I'm lucky I only bloodied and cracked my nose.That's all Im saying.OH and the the ones on the lift above passing me laughing and saying "on the rag"??? was not to fun either.BLOOD on the WHITE snow I call that one..Also lost my nice new goggles.

I still need nose surgery ..Its crooked.

 

[Penumbra]

I went down hill snow skiing on the "expert' hill in New York the first time I went skiing in my life cuz I wasn't going on the "bunny hill' because my brother wasn't.The Bunny Hill is for losers and babies..He told me to go on that one he was going on the other one.(his first time skiing too by the way..SKI CLUB)..No I can do it I'm not a baby..

YIKES...I'm lucky I only bloodied and cracked my nose.That's all Im saying.OH and the the ones on the lift above passing me laughing and saying "on the rag"??? was not to fun either.BLOOD on the WHITE snow I call that one..Also lost my nice new goggles.

I still need nose surgery ..Its crooked.

I was skiing down a double black diamond expert slope once and wiped out pretty hard. I had went down that path a dozen times before without any issues, but it was getting darker and colder, and there was an ice patch this time, and I hit it the wrong way and fell. My skis flew off my feet, I tumbled around and got snow up my pants, it was a bad time, but I wasn't injured. My bf was slightly ahead of me on that run, and didn't see me fall, so he went down for a while until stopping to realize I wasn't with him anymore. I was alone in the snow.

I started to collect myself and get up, and noticed that my hat and goggles flew off too, and my hair was wet and icy, which felt terrible. I was kind of looking around for my various pieces of equipment, and started kind of limping over to pick up my various things. As luck would have it, I wiped out right under the ski lift. There were two boys riding up the lift over me, and they saw me wipe out, and they yelled out things like "Ha did you see that chick fall!" "She face-planted so hard!" "Haha look at her! Her stuff flew everywhere!" "Call me!" as I walked around grabbing my stuff on the dark, cold, hill with snow and ice all over me and under my clothes. Not fun.

 

[BSM1]

When I was a teenager my younger brother taught me everything I needed to know about boxing. I was eighteen and he was sixteen. But he was bigger than me and playing varsity football so he wasn't the underdog. One Sunday afternoon some of our friends came over and we broke out the boxing gloves and headed for the front yard. My brother and I were sparring when I noticed that a really cute girl was visiting at the neighbor's house--and she was watching me. My brother was beast but he wasn't very fast plus he telegraphed his punches. Every time he dropped his left I would quickly jump in and flurry up and down his head (remember you couldn't hurt him). When I bounced away from him I would glance over to make sure the cute girl was watching. Evidently he caught on. He dropped his left, I flurried in, I flurried out, I glanced over... I never saw it, I never felt it, but they say he hit me with an uppercut that actually touched the ground. I never felt any pain I just remember lying on the ground, looking at the sky, and wondering why my legs wouldn't work. However what was painful was glancing over at the neighbor's house and watching the cute girl laughing as she closed the door. I never put the gloves an again.

 

[Badran]

One last story and then I will cease to embarrass myself by being a thread hog.

Please don't, keep'em coming.

Does that make any sense?

Yeah, i can see how a person would be pushed towards accepting themselves to get comfortable.

 

[Badran]

I love that story! I don't know why, but for some reason, I think some of the funniest moments in life happen when one is falsely accused of something he or she knows nothing about. Those are "Who me? WTF?" moments and perhaps I find them so hilarious because I see in them some sort of metaphor for existence itself. I mean, we're put here by the Cosmos and then treated to its all but slapstick sense of humor, so to speak. We never really know what's going on, but that doesn't stop the Cosmos from holding us accountable for it.

Can you recall any other situations in which everyone -- or at least most people -- were sure you were guilty of something that you were oblivious to?

One other time when i was much younger, me and my family were visiting my uncle. My other uncle was there too, and their kids were there, their wives, basically lots of people. One of my female cousins had a pretty interesting relationship with me, but it's mostly for another setting so just keep her in mind.

That day, when we were leaving and getting in the car, my mother was a bit late, and i wandered off with my mind staring at the window, thinking of stuff until she got in the car. She then looked at me with a severe look, and said "I can't believe you!" and shook her head and turned around.

My father started the car and moved. I was amazed, and took a while to respond, then asked "What are you talking about?". She didn't answer, so i yelled "What is it?!". She then stared at me even more severely, and my father said "Forget about him, i don't want you both to start yelling now".

After a while of this, she finally said "Why did you make your cousin cry?! Didn't you have enough yet?". Of course, i had no idea what she was talking about, and i didn't see anybody cry. So i asked angrily "What?! When did she cry, and why?". She looked at me with disgust, as if i was pretending i didn't know when i actually knew.

Lots of yelling came after that. I was angry, and my father was still worried about the yelling and so he spent the whole time blaming me and asking me to stop, sometimes telling my mom "Let it go, it's not worth it" as if he knew what she was talking about which made me even more angered.

Finally, she explained, and it turned out that my cousin heard me say something that i didn't actually say, and was crying to my mother when we were waiting in the car. At one point when we were there, i had noticed that my cousin was acting weird, so i asked my male cousin something like "What's up with her?". Instead of 'her', she heard a swear word, and that (along side some of the general stuff in our relationship) was why she cried.

I explained that i didn't say that, and my mother said "Well, that's what she heard". So when i got home, i called her. I began by saying "Why did you cry?", she said "I didn't cry.", with a voice that had the leftovers of someone who was crying real hard. I didn't say anything, and just waited, so she started telling everything. She kept saying stuff like "I know we're not really treating each other good these days, but this is too much", so i interjected and said that i didn't actually say what she heard. She insisted that i did, and said stuff like "Be a man, if you want to swear at me do it to my face".

I think that this was one of the times i was most enraged in my entire life, i was boiling with anger. I was so angered that, my only option was to respond extremely calmly. If i expressed the anger, i would've had to smash the phone, wreck the entire house, kill my family and go on towards her house in a raging mania.

So instead, i said "Listen, i'll try to clarify this, and like i said i didn't say what you heard, but if you say anything like the stuff you said so far again, i'll hang up". She started to tone it down while maintaining her insistence that i said it, and then she said "Be a man" again, so i hung up. She then called, and i picked up the phone and hung up again. She called again, so i let it ring and went away. My mother answered and she kept crying to her, and the situation was finally resolved, no less than an entire year later.

 

[Badran]

In high school I had a habit of not really paying attention in class. I figured as long as I get a good grade, then why should the teacher care how I spend my time? So I would typically stare blankly at the wall, or sketch things in my notebook.

I did that constantly too, and it often got me in trouble. Thankfully, the teachers let it go though most of the time, when i answered the surprise question correctly.

 

[Sunstone]

... the situation was finally resolved, no less than an entire year later.

It took an entire year? That's quite sometime for something that began so simply.

By the way, I think I can understand why you would be so angry that day. Do you find it embarrassing just about every time you get angry. For some reason, my mother thought anger was a sign of weakness. I never entirely understood her point of view, and it didn't do much to stop me from getting angry, but it did leave me with a tendency to feel embarrassed soon after any episode of anger.

 

[Sunstone]

Please don't, keep'em coming.

If I do, the fact I will be forever afterwards known as "That thread hog!" will be all your fault, despite that you really need push only as lightly as a summer breeze to get me going again. :sorry1:

 

[DallasApple]

My problem in my story is I pointed my skis "straight ahead".And I went.Steep decent with LOTS of bumps.I must have been going 30MPH..and had no idea what the hell I was doing.I had cross country skied and sledded.I crossed my skis trying to slow down they tangled.OOPS..FLIP! skis detached hanging by my ankles by a string.(cord?) I landed face down hard in "not so soft" snow...

I lost my Scotts..that was embarrasing.Mama got mad at me and said she wasn't buying me anymore.So i went skiing again without them. On the intermediate hill.

 

[Badran]

It took an entire year? That's quite sometime for something that began so simply.

What happened is that after my mother finished talking to her, she told me that she'll call me tomorrow again when she has calmed down. But the girl thought that i was going to call her tomorrow, so neither of us ended up calling the other, and from my point of view at the time, there was nothing i should do at that point.

She didn't call, i didn't do anything in the first place, and i already tried to fix it once. I saw her during that year, but of course treated her like crap.

By the way, I think I can understand why you would be so angry that day.

I was also a lot younger.

Do you find it embarrassing just about every time you get angry. For some reason, my mother thought anger was a sign of weakness. I never entirely understood her point of view, and it didn't do much to stop me from getting angry, but it did leave me with a tendency to feel embarrassed soon after any episode of anger.

It depends on the context. If i think my reaction was totally unwarranted, or i react in such a way that reveals more than i wanted to reveal, then i'll either feel guilt or embarrassment depending on the situation. Some other times i don't feel bad about it at all and think it was appropriate.

I actually agree that anger is a sign of weakness, in more than one sense, but i don't consider that to be something entailing that i should never get angry. I look at it as a natural emotion coming from different places and for different reasons, and as something that needs to be dealt with rather than as something that needs to be eliminated.

 

[Badran]

If I do, the fact I will be forever afterwards known as "That thread hog!" will be all your fault, despite that you really need push only as lightly as a summer breeze to get me going again. :sorry1:

That's alright with me. I'll happily take the blame for it.

 

[Alceste]

I did that constantly too, and it often got me in trouble. Thankfully, the teachers let it go though most of the time, when i answered the surprise question correctly.

Me too. My teachers didn't really care though. I usually napped or wrote notes to my friends. Eventually I stopped going altogether, just showing up for tests. They still didn't care. I don't know if I was lucky or not.

Later, in film school, l was still doodling, but it was art design class. That's the first time a teacher cared. I was doing a masterpiece of doodling. A whole page, black with intriguing patterns and shapes, surrounding a few "notes" (in extremely ornate lettering). I was like "what, is this art design or isn't it?"

I feel bad in retrospect, but I still have to do something with my hands when people start talking to me for more than a minute or two or I have a boredom-induced panic attack. Thanks, school. :sarcastic

 

[Badran]

Me too. My teachers didn't really care though. I usually napped or wrote notes to my friends. Eventually I stopped going altogether, just showing up for tests. They still didn't care. I don't know if I was lucky or not.

Later, in film school, l was still doodling, but it was art design class. That's the first time a teacher cared. I was doing a masterpiece of doodling. A whole page, black with intriguing patterns and shapes, surrounding a few "notes" (in extremely ornate lettering). I was like "what, is this art design or isn't it?"

I feel bad in retrospect, but I still have to do something with my hands when people start talking to me for more than a minute or two or I have a boredom-induced panic attack. Thanks, school. :sarcastic

I'm so glad to meet someone who can appreciate this serious suffering. There used to be a chemistry lesson i attended off school, and it lasted for five hours. There was not enough doodling or day dreaming that could help me through that, i couldn't do it for that long.

After the first half hour, i'd feel very uncomfortable. After an hour and a half, i'd be in extreme suffering. By the fourth hour, i'd be dying, and i would look at everybody around me and wonder how normal and happy they seem.

At high school, i stopped going to school altogether too, and i know they were outright glad, because i was told so on the few oocassions i decided to go for a change.

 

[Sunstone]

I actually agree that anger is a sign of weakness, in more than one sense, but i don't consider that to be something entailing that i should never get angry. I look at it as a natural emotion coming from different places and for different reasons, and as something that needs to be dealt with rather than as something that needs to be eliminated.

I think you make a distinction my mother never made. Perhaps because she didn't make it, her view of anger left me somewhat confused. That distinction, if I guess correctly, is between "fresh anger" or "immediate anger", and the anger one might feel down the road. The sort of lingering anger that might need to be nursed to retain it. The former is a natural emotion, but I think it's arguable the latter is to some extent artificial in a sense because it needs to cultivated or nurse along to maintain it. Does that make any sense?

That's alright with me. I'll happily take the blame for it.

I feel the pressure now. It's too intense to handle without caving in. So here goes!

This is a story told to me by someone I know.

He says when he was in high school, there was girl he became sexually infatuated with. He knew even at the time he didn't love her. But he was so infatuated with her that by his senior year, he tells me, he could go days thinking about little besides her. And, of course, that caused him a whopping amount of emotional pain that he simply couldn't shake off.

Then early one evening in his senior year, she consented to ride around with him in his car. Riding around town in your car in the evening, by the way, was something teens in that town did to see and be seen. Just about everyone did it.

Finally, it got late and was it time to take her to her grandmother's house, where she was living. When they arrived, however, she noted to him that all the lights were off in the windows and only the porch light was on. She explained that meant her grandmother was already in bed and she could stay out a bit longer.

He took his cue from that and the two were soon kissing. The kissing turned into some fondling, but it didn't go much further than that. And according to him, it didn't need to. You can imagine how excited he was! He told me it was like the high point of his sexual existence to that date! He was lost to time and two hours flew by.

Unfortunately, Badran, he'd made one huge miscalculation. He'd parked in the middle of his lane. That is, he hadn't pulled over and parked on the side of the road.

Now, in a way it didn't matter. In that small town, there were few cars on the road that late on weeknight. So he wasn't really blocking anyone. And yet, around one o'clock in the morning, the local policeman drove up behind them and stopped.

The cop turned on his high-beams and his flashing colored lights. Immediately, he and his girl were bathed in light. Passion killing light. My friend said -- and these were his words -- "everything instantly withered". But then to his horror, the cop, instead of getting out and approaching my friend's car on foot, decided to use his loud speaker!

In the silence of the night, the cop on his speaker was an explosion of sound. "Quit making love in the middle of my street, and get your car over to the side!" Just like that, word for word, if I recall what my friend said.

In a minute, lights came on in one of the grandmother's windows. Worse, they came on in one of the other houses across the street! And, as if the cops tactless words and the notice of those people wasn't enough humiliation for one night, he says his mother and father were both awake waiting up for him when he got home because they were worried he was so uncharacteristically late on a weeknight.

 

[Badran]

I think you make a distinction my mother never made. Perhaps because she didn't make it, her view of anger left me somewhat confused. That distinction, if I guess correctly, is between "fresh anger" or "immediate anger", and the anger one might feel down the road. The sort of lingering anger that might need to be nursed to retain it. The former is a natural emotion, but I think it's arguable the latter is to some extent artificial in a sense because it needs to cultivated or nurse along to maintain it. Does that make any sense?

Yes, it does. There is more than one distinction i make in this regard, and what you mentioned is kind of related to one of them.

Generally, i can revel in anger, as a form of feeling alive, and i can be deeply disturbed with it, when it happens in a certain way and due to certain reasons. The simplest form to describe it for me is as a defense mechanism, sometimes called for (and in fact helpful, though not as much as the other way around), and sometimes not. The kind of accumulated anger you're talking about is something i try to avoid for the most part, as it affects my overall happiness badly.

This is a story told to me by someone I know.

That's horrible.

I was really happy for him. Please tell me that this wasn't the end of it?

Did they go out again, or at least continued to know each other afterwards?

 

[Penumbra]

When I was a kid, maybe 9 years old, I created a song. I wrote the lyrics, played an electronic keyboard, sang the lyrics, and recorded it on a tape.

It is the most god awful piece of music ever put together. Rebecca Black is Mozart compared to this. It is a catastrophe of sound.

A year later, I realized my insanity and recorded over the tape to destroy the evidence. There was a copy though, and an older relative had it. He still has it today, and reminds me about it. I thought he was bluffing, but he produced it and played it a couple of years ago to prove to me he still had it. He calls it cute and says he should play it for everyone. I think if he tries that I'm going to physically retrieve it even if it involves minor bodily harm.

 

[Alceste]

I'm so glad to meet someone who can appreciate this serious suffering. There used to be a chemistry lesson i attended off school, and it lasted for five hours. There was not enough doodling or day dreaming that could help me through that, i couldn't do it for that long.

After the first half hour, i'd feel very uncomfortable. After an hour and a half, i'd be in extreme suffering. By the fourth hour, i'd be dying, and i would look at everybody around me and wonder how normal and happy they seem.

At high school, i stopped going to school altogether too, and i know they were outright glad, because i was told so on the few oocassions i decided to go for a change.

I feel your pain. The cruellest irony is that everybody in my life at the moment is a talker. I swear, not a one can keep still for more than a minute with me in the room without launching into a massive speech that goes round and round in circles with no end in sight. It's so overwhelming that I often pull over for a half hour or so on the side of the road between one place and another just to sit quietly in my car and have thoughts of my own - thoughts with a beginning and an end, and no repetition. I never told anybody that. Now you all know me better than everyone I know.

 

[Alceste]

When I was a kid, maybe 9 years old, I created a song. I wrote the lyrics, played an electronic keyboard, sang the lyrics, and recorded it on a tape.

It is the most god awful piece of music ever put together. Rebecca Black is Mozart compared to this. It is a catastrophe of sound.

A year later, I realized my insanity and recorded over the tape to destroy the evidence. There was a copy though, and an older relative had it. He still has it today, and reminds me about it. I thought he was bluffing, but he produced it and played it a couple of years ago to prove to me he still had it. He calls it cute and says he should play it for everyone. I think if he tries that I'm going to physically retrieve it even if it involves minor bodily harm.

You've just described my entire career.