Baha'i marriage:

[arthra]

Some maybe curious about how marriage is approached in the Baha'i Faith..

One of the distinct things about Baha'i marriage is that all living parents of the prospective bride and groom must voluntarily give their consent to the marriage... there is no such thing as "eloping" in the Baha'i Faith.

Baha'is are "married" by representatives of Baha'i Institutions and probably most likely a Local Spiritual Assembly... The Assembly must review the consents with the couple and find that they meet the above requirement.

Two persons are then appointed to witness the vows of marriage by the couple... What are these vows? That they will abide by the Will of God. Each must vow to abide by the Will of God in front of witnesses. This is the Baha'i "ceremony" pure and simple.

The Assembly marrying the couple does not charge them for this service so there are no large expenses that the parents of the couple are burdened with or that the newly married couple have to assume.

If someone wants to rent a large hall and have a hundred or a thousand guests they can certainly do that.. but it is not required or expected.

Another question usually comes up and that concerns marriage with people with differently faiths. A Baha'i can marry anyone of any faith... as long as the basic requirements noted above are followed. What happens is there is a Baha'i "ceremony" on the same day but in a different site from the spouses church, temple or whatever.

There can also be a marriage of non-Baha'is..that is as long as the requirements are met the Assembly could marry a non-Baha'i couple.

So these are some of things that make Baha'i marriage special and unique!

Here is a brief over view of Baha'i marriage:

http://bahai-library.com/index.php5?file=warwick_bahai_marriage

- Art:bunny:: hamster :

 

[Hema]

That's interesting. Thanks for sharing. I like the idea of a short and simple ceremony.

 

[BruceDLimber]

Technocally, Art, the couple marries each other!

(The witnesses don't do the "marrying.")

Best,

Bruce

 

[arthra]

What you have written Bruce is true..in a sense...Recall this:

"Bahá'í marriage is the commitment of the two parties one to the other, and their mutual attachment of mind and heart."

and

"Bahá'í marriage is union and cordial affection between the two parties. They must, however, exercise the utmost care and become acquainted with each other's character. This eternal bond should be made secure by a firm covenant, and the intention should be to foster harmony, fellowship and unity and to attain everlasting life." - `Abdu'l-Bahá
2
The pledge of marriage, the verse to be spoken individually by the bride and the bridegroom in the presence of at least two witnesses acceptable to the Spiritual Assembly is, as stipulated in the Kitáb-i-Aqdas (The Most Holy Book):


the couple are basically marrying each other and agreeing to abide by the Will of God but administratively they must apply to the Institutions for that priviledge I think.

And let's not forget the description of Baha'i marriage:

"The true marriage of Bahá'ís is this, that husband and wife should be united both physically and spiritually, that they may ever improve the spiritual life of each other, and may enjoy everlasting unity throughout all the worlds of God."

 

[Booko]

We had our wedding in Wilmette at the House of Worship there, in the gardens. It was a simple affair with only immediate family and a few friends, of which two of the friends were witnesses.

I was just reorganizing and ran across a copy of the readings and prayers we used.

 

[arthra]

That's really lovely to be married at the House of Worship!

My wife and I were married in a nearby Baha'i Center and while humble i can look back on it and remember how lovely it was... My mother in law had placed lighted candles around on a sill which went around the room ...

When I visit the Center which is pretty often it always brings back fond memories..

- Art

 

[Booko]

That's really lovely to be married at the House of Worship!

My wife and I were married in a nearby Baha'i Center and while humble i can look back on it and remember how lovely it was... My mother in law had placed lighted candles around on a sill which went around the room ...

When I visit the Center which is pretty often it always brings back fond memories..

- Art

Well, I used to live just a few hours away from Wilmette, so it seemed a rather obvious place to get married.

It was in July, which is not as nice as May for the roses, but a very fine month to be in the gardens, and the weather was lovely.

 

[Steinninn]

Not a jolly question, but what about divorces?

 

[arthra]

Not a jolly question, but what about divorces?

Divorce is a good topic.. I don't suppose we could talk about marriage without mentioning it.. The couple having marital issues is supposed to apply to the Local Spiritual Assembly for help or guidance... The Assembly can refer them to professional counseling or try to help them resolve the issues. If the couple can't resolve the issues a year of patience is set up.. The couple live apart but on conditional that they don't have relationships outside the marriage and that while apart they still work toward resolution.

After one year of separation the couples' issues are still unresolved.. a divorce is recognized. Usually a civil divorce follows soon after.

One thing though that should be noted is that the stigma of divorce is not that strong in Baha'i communties as some other ones I've heard of.

You are still respected in the community and can remarry.

- Art

 

[challupa]

I wrote a book on religions that outlined some of the main religions of the world and I was very impressed with the open mindedness of the Baha'i religion. In fact, I stated in the book that I felt that the Baha'i religion was one of the few religions that practiced religious tolerance.

 

[arthra]

Thanks for your post Challupa! Welcome to the forum!

 

[challupa]

Thank you for the welcome. I am so glad to have found RF because I love learning about other people's beliefs. I certainly will increase my knowledge here!:yes:

 

[Steinninn]

I know there is a ring when someone dies. But is there a ring for marriage?
​

 

[arthra]

I know there is a ring when someone dies. But is there a ring for marriage?​

There's no ring required for a Baha'i marriage but according to customs some people purchase them.

- Art:bunny::bunny:

 

[Darz]

Say that a Baha'i was planning to get married according to the rituals of a different religion (so that the marriage would be valid and accepted in that religion). If they obtained consent from all four parents, invited the Baha'i representatives to their wedding, and included the Baha'i vow into their ceremony, would this also be considered a valid Baha'i marriage?

 

[arthra]

Say that a Baha'i was planning to get married according to the rituals of a different religion (so that the marriage would be valid and accepted in that religion). If they obtained consent from all four parents, invited the Baha'i representatives to their wedding, and included the Baha'i vow into their ceremony, would this also be considered a valid Baha'i marriage?

Hello Darz,

Baha'is have there own marriage which is reciting the words "We will all verily abide by the will of God" in front of two witnesses designated by a Baha'i Institution such as the Local Spiritual Assembly... They meet the requirements if they have satisfied the requirenment of being approved by their parents..

Baha'i marriages are not conducted say in the sanctuary of another religion.. The simple service can be performed outside or most anywhere.

If one of the prospective spouse is a member of another religion they can have both services if they wish.. but not mixed together. So the Baha'i service is held outside the church, temple apart from whatever other service they have.

Also tthe following implies to me that we as Baha'is don't mix the rituals of another religion with our own simple ceremony:

"Regarding the question you arise in your letter about the Bahá'í marriage. As you know there is no ritual, according to the Aqdas, and the Guardian is very anxious that none should be introduced at present and no general forms accepted. He believes this ceremony should be as simple as possible, the parties using the words ordained by Bahá'u'lláh, and excerpts from the Writings and Prayers being read if desired. There should be no commingling of the old forms with the new and simple one of Bahá'u'lláh, and Bahá'ís should not be married in the Church or any other acknowledged place of worship of the followers of other Faiths..."

(From letter written on behalf of the Guardian to an individual believer, March 13, 1944)
(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 388)

 

[Darz]

That it understandable. Thanks for the clarification Art.

Do most couples with different faiths have two ceremonies then?

 

[arthra]

That it understandable. Thanks for the clarification Art.

Do most couples with different faiths have two ceremonies then?

Yes they do.. My son had a brief Baha'i ceremony with his Christian wife after the Christian ceremony.. They had this in a garden apart from the church where the Christian ceremony occurred.

The following concerns a Hindu ceremony but you could substitute Christian, Jewish or Muslim ceremonies.

"As regards marriage between a Bahá'í and a Hindu, having a Hindu ceremony is possible only if the people concerned, including the officiating priest, are aware that the Bahá'í remains a Bahá'í although taking part in the Hindu marriage ceremony in deference to his or her Hindu partner."

(From a letter of the Universal House of Justice to the National Spiritual Assembly of India, May 4, 1970: 19-Day Feast Circular of India, February 2, 1971, p.7)

(Compilations, Lights of Guidance, p. 385)

I once witnessed a marriage between a Baha'i and a Muslim..as long as it's understood the Baha'i remains a Baha'i, it can be done and as long as there is a separate Baha'i ceremony.

Also some non-Baha'is have asked for Baha'i ceremony.. They usually do this because there is no cost to them and maybe they have some problems with their church .. Anyway the Assembly meets with them and if all the requirements are met they can have a Baha'i ceremony.

- Art

 

[Booko]

Say that a Baha'i was planning to get married according to the rituals of a different religion (so that the marriage would be valid and accepted in that religion). If they obtained consent from all four parents, invited the Baha'i representatives to their wedding, and included the Baha'i vow into their ceremony, would this also be considered a valid Baha'i marriage?

Hey, I resemble that remark! I married a (lapsed) Catholic and we chose to have a Catholic ceremony as well. We had to meet with the priests for interviews and fulfill the requirements of the RCC to have that ceremony, but in addition as I am Baha'i it's a requirement that I abide by Baha'i marriage laws as well.

A Baha'i ceremony can be very very simple indeed. That's usually not what stands in people's way -- it's the requirement for parental permission that's the usual problem.

In my case I was adopted, so I had the additional wrinkle of having to figure out just what effort I needed to make to find my birth parents. That turned out not to be any difficulty. While technically I was not required to obtain permission from my adoptive parents, the answer I got from the National Spiritual Assembly was pretty clear that I really should ask them in order to be in the spirit of the law, as it were.

 

[Darz]

Why do you need permission from your birth parents if you were adopted and raised by your adoption parents? It seems to me that if you were raised by your adoptive parents, it is pretty silly to be required to go and ask your birth parents who you have never seen or talked to before. The requirement seems to be taking it out of the context of what it is actually in place for. Your birth parents wouldn't be the ones to support you and your spouse anyway so why is it required to ask them?