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Basically Unhappy, but Distracted
- Thread starter Sunstone
- Start date
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
I would say most people I know are ignorant, and therefore probably unhappy.
Alex_G
Enlightner of the Senses
I think people can be both happy and unhappy. In truth i think a complete concept of 'well-being' for a human being constitutes many things, including pleasure, happiness, fulfilment, purpose, peace, and so on. I think you can in fact be happy, if we take it as having a definition meaning 'an elated mood at any given moment in time', but at the same time lack many other aspects that would constitute true 'well-being'. I wouldn’t be surprised if it had some evolutionary sense behind it, as a mechanism to keep an animal content in light of a less than perfect life.
Sure we have distractions in our lives at every turn, but under one definition we could describe almost anything and everything we do as a distraction or preoccupation from everything else. A distraction relative to what is a question that jumps to mind.
A second point of interest for me is the idea of purposeful distractions vs. unintentional ones. Those things people choose to do, driven by underlying emotions, either to distract from an on-going unhappiness, or to seek out some stand-alone wellbeing from its practice.
However for me, i think the greatest factor in human wellbeing in today’s society sits in the realm of this unintentional distraction. Those things we do inadvertently without much thought.
So many of us live this textbook life, following it like a script in a bad play. Wanting nothing more than to be a good boy or girl, staying out of trouble, having the newest gadget or piece of fashion, working 9-5 and going out on the weekend. Like a stuck record.
Our world is filled with advertisement, information, viewpoints, stigmas and biases. I think that it’s so strong that people lose that true individualism they had as a child, being made into the standard 'citizen'.
I would vouch that real tragedy comes when you wake up in the latter part of your life and realise that what you spent years doing was never what you really wanted to do in the first place.
An unhappiness born out of distractions themselves.
To lose that originality within you, that life of the authentic artist that we are all capable of. Day by day denying ourselves things that the human condition needs, and instead filling it with a life of meaningless routine and doings, none of which truly listens to the voice of the individual.
I think a lot of 'unhappiness' can be rooted in this unfortunate dynamic.
Alex
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I think rather than 'distraction' perhaps 'healthy and unhealthy means of coping' would be more fair to everyone.
Not to sound in a negative light, but i think Living to some large degree is coping with life.
Coping can help us distill and make meaning of our life...
Or it can also bring it to an all to early grave.
Not to sound in a negative light, but i think Living to some large degree is coping with life.
Coping can help us distill and make meaning of our life...
Or it can also bring it to an all to early grave.
I am not sure people are unhappy, but I found most people to be rather dissatisfied.
Songbird
She rules her life like a bird in flight
Even as you defined it, Sunstone, I'm not sure what happiness or a feeling of well-being is, or if my standard matches others. I think I generally feel happy despite some challenges, but I usually have a restless itch to grow and learn, and an underlying existential angst.
I can't figure out what most people feel. I often imagine people must be unhappy by the way they engage life and express themselves, but we're all different.
I can't figure out what most people feel. I often imagine people must be unhappy by the way they engage life and express themselves, but we're all different.
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sandandfoam
Veteran Member
To my mind, well being has to do with life satisfaction, most people I know are not satisfied with their lives.
I think that's probably a good thing.
(I understand your definition is for the purpose of the thread but I don't think happiness = life satisfaction/well being.)
I'm not sure I'd say there's a "most". Some people I know seem generally happy, others seem generally unhappy.
Speaking for myself, I've found that I can tolerate crappy situations and feel... not happy, but not especially unhappy either. I just kinda put up with it and not pay it too much mind.
I think I have greater tolerance for prolonged unhappy situations than abrupt ones. I can get used to a fair bit of unpleasantness over time once I get over the initial shock, but then when it finally ends, I can't understand how I ever tolerated it.
As an example that I know is a bit superficial (since I'd rather not get into the more personal examples I could dig up), I've had awful commutes in the past. The worst was when I commuted from one side of Toronto to the suburbs on the other side - through downtown in rush hour - for a year. Two hours each way through stop-and-go traffic. I didn't like it, and I suppose it got a bit frustrating sometimes, but I didn't dwell on it - I just did it.
Now, with my 10-minute commute, as I sail over the highway, I look at the traffic jam and wonder how people can put themselves through that.
I've found the exact opposite to be true. Ignorant people who have no goals in their lives are many times fat, dumb, and happy.
Walkntune
Well-Known Member
I heard ignorance was bliss!
Forgive me if this is an unfair question, but is that how you (and your family) feel?
For the most part no. But I think I've noticed that at times in my life, I've been unhappy but distracted from it. For instance, when I was with my second wife. That was 20 years ago, but I recall I threw myself both into political activism (of a Conservative bent) and into my business as an escape from unhappiness. At the time, though, you could not have convinced me I was unhappy.
The past dozen years or so have been the happiest in my life.
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Thanks for the response. I'm pleased that the answer was "For the most part, no."
I was thinking of my family. It seems to me that for the most part, they are a very happy bunch.
It sdounds like we're detecting a trend ... 
No-one has mentioned the resignation and despair that destroys the lives of many daily. If you're in the business of trying to avoid those things, then mere unhappiness and dissatisfaction can become motivating factors to keep going so long as there is some perceived hope that things will change and there are enough distractions to keep you sane. It's an ugly way to live, but life beats some down so bad it's all they got.
Most Brazilians are unhappy yet distracted from it.
Gjallarhorn
N'yog-Sothep
I tend to see they have moments of happiness, but their moments of unhappiness are a lot more intense and long lasting.
Caladan
Agnostic Pantheist
The people I know are fundamentally happy, and seek to improve their life experiences regularly. they are always engaged in something. it could be a life long dedication to martial arts, it can be travel and cultural experiences, it can be taking on acting, brewing beer, or climbing mountains.
I can wholeheartedly say that these things are not distractions from their troubles, on the contrary, these are testaments to the good health and character of these people.
I have a friend who has been practicing martial arts all his life, he has been instructing them for years as well. he is also engaged in other things, from training people by being their nutrition coach, to studying acting and preforming.
another friend has been brewing beer for us for years, and we've been drinking his beer over the industrial beer in every chance we get. he is also a physicist and has a myriad of other hobbies.
My life long friend, a mechanical engineer, comes back every other evening with a physical injury from Ninjitsu practice, but he can't wait to get back for more.
Some of my other friends although they may hold advanced degrees in fields such as physics, are actually achieving success in music and have been preforming with some of the best known musicians back home in Israel.
I don't think my friends have distractions. they enjoy the pursuit of their passions, and a good challenge.
Most of my friends go back to highschool, some of them go way before that to elementary school and one or two even to living as neighbors and going to kindergarten together. we are very supportive of each other, and I'm always looking forward to see them and hear about their shenanigans. I know them as opinionated, and just generally interested in living a full life.
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