Becoming a house husband? Despite having a degree?

[StarryNightshade]

I made a post similar to this in the "random, meaningless announcement" thread, but I'm curious as to the opinions of others.

I recently obtained my Bachelors degree and planned on going into a Masters program in the near future. That has been my plan for the past few years, but a part of me has always wanted to be a stay-at-home-husband. I put that idea out of my head, because me getting a good education was really emphasized by my parents (I'm one of only two to graduate high school; let alone go to college). Nevertheless, I like the idea of staying at the home, cooking meals, caring for the house, and being there for my future husband.

I have heard of couple of criticisms regarding this:

1.) That it's a lazy way out of working - No, and let me tell you why. I'd still want to work, just something part time. I actually go nuts if I don't work, and I want to contribute something towards bills. Not to mention the student loans I'll have to pay off. That, and anyone who says that taking care of a home or spouse isn't hard work is lying.

2.) That I'm too young to consider something like this - Granted, I'm only 23 (soon to be 24), but that doesn't mean that I don't know what I ultimately want. Branching from this, people have said that I should pursue my dreams before settling down. Why couldn't I pursue my interests and aspirations while at the same time being a stay-at-home-spouse? I'll have the time to do so, and I can easily find a partner who shares the same interests (especially regarding travel).

Besides, if it came ultimately down to it, I can always go back and get my Masters later on down the road.

Thoughts?

 

[Deidre]

As long as you and your partner agree...that's all that matters. Only do what makes you both happy, we can't live our lives making others happy...

I think that there are so many social stigmas in our society, so...we have to learn to pursue our own versions of happiness. Whatever you choose, and whatever your future holds...I wish you the best.

 

[Revoltingest]

....a part of me has always wanted to be a stay-at-home-husband. I put that idea out of my head, because me getting a good education was really emphasized by my parents (I'm one of only two to graduate high school; let alone go to college). Nevertheless, I like the idea of staying at the home, cooking meals, caring for the house, and being there for my future husband.

First, I like the idea of 2 guys living the 1950s dream of June & Ward Cleaver.
Second, God created parents so that children could disobey & disappoint them.

1.) Lazy is good, so long as you meet all your obligations.
2.) You're at the perfect age (18-75) for such a decision.

 

[Riverwolf]

I made a post similar to this in the "random, meaningless announcement" thread, but I'm curious as to the opinions of others.

I recently obtained my Bachelors degree and planned on going into a Masters program in the near future. That has been my plan for the past few years, but a part of me has always wanted to be a stay-at-home-husband. I put that idea out of my head, because me getting a good education was really emphasized by my parents (I'm one of only two to graduate high school; let alone go to college). Nevertheless, I like the idea of staying at the home, cooking meals, caring for the house, and being there for my future husband.

I have heard of couple of criticisms regarding this:

1.) That it's a lazy way out of working - No, and let me tell you why. I'd still want to work, just something part time. I actually go nuts if I don't work, and I want to contribute something towards bills. Not to mention the student loans I'll have to pay off. That, and anyone who says that taking care of a home or spouse isn't hard work is lying.

2.) That I'm too young to consider something like this - Granted, I'm only 23 (soon to be 24), but that doesn't mean that I don't know what I ultimately want. Branching from this, people have said that I should pursue my dreams before settling down. Why couldn't I pursue my interests and aspirations while at the same time being a stay-at-home-spouse? I'll have the time to do so, and I can easily find a partner who shares the same interests (especially regarding travel).

Besides, if it came ultimately down to it, I can always go back and get my Masters later on down the road.

Thoughts?

Well, I've got a few thoughts on those criticisms:

1. Laziness is when you have all the energy, motivation, and means to do whatever task needs doing, and you don't for no other reason than you don't want to. (Literally no other reason; not even "too tired", which is more legitimate than most people think.) Being a stay-at-home partner/parent doesn't mean no work; my plan is to work entirely from home because I have certain mental conditions that make it extremely difficult to impossible to work the so-called "standard" jobs.

2. No such thing as "too young to consider something like this", ESPECIALLY if you're in you're 20s. (If you were 7, then I might be concerned.)

Beyond that, if you're a stay-at-home spouse, I would expect that you'd be in a significantly better position to pursue your dreams than you would be doing a "standard" job. Especially since, if you have a work-from-home job, and travel is the thing you love doing, then you could basically take whatever work you needed to do with you on your adventures if you absolutely had to. Besides, since when does "pursuing your dreams" have to be solely for young people? I intend to pursue my dreams all the way until I breathe my last.

 

[illykitty]

I agree with what the other posters have said. I'm a stay at home wife and although I do encounter a little bit of stigma, it's mostly fine. There's no shame in it if that's what you want.

Some advice, like you said, you might want to have a part-time job, for some financial independence and also to occupy yourself. It gets boring, fast, to not do anything. Or at least have several hobbies, volunteer, get out in the community, etc. I'm sure you get what I'm saying.

I don't think you're too young. I'm 25 and have been a housewife since I was 21. Anyway, it's not a permanent choice, you can always change your mind. Find out what works for you, don't try to live a life everyone else dictates to you as being the proper way of living or some other lame stuff.

Granted I'm not a housewife by 100% choice (circumstances and mental illness) but it's not terrible. I hope I get better someday to get a part-time job but that's about it. I do like to be at home and cook.

 

[Sunstone]

About social stigma. First, nearly every lifestyle is stigmatized by someone or some group of people. Good luck finding one that isn't!

Second, you can follow what others want you to do, but those folks aren't going to take the consequences for you of taking their advice. It'll be you who has to face those consequences, not them.

 

[Parsimony]

As long as income is sufficient and there is an agreement between you and your spouse about this, I see no problem.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

I'm an artist who works from home and I'm a housewife. I'd say the "Lazy" accusation is BS, plain and simple. What I can tell you about is going stir crazy or getting cabin fever.

Cleaning the whole house really doesn't take as long as you might think especially once to get a routine down. Without a part time job or volunteering you will either go crazy or start falling into bad habits like online shopping or going out to eat or shop (just to have an excuse to get out of the house).

That's the only thing. Other than that, like others have said, if your future partner is okay with it, go for it.

 

[gsa]

I always found the stay-at-home parent model odd, but that was basically because my parents both worked, and their parents both worked, so there was a long, solid history of not being a stay at home parent. It also seemed to limit one’s material aspirations, although that was less of a concern for me than the idea that it can’t be fulfilling.

Practically, how easy do you think it will be to find a male partner who will agree to that, if he is gay? My operating assumption has always been that my partner would work. And he does, but for the first nine months that we dated, he was unemployed and just out of grad school, looking for work, and we lived together for quite a bit of that period. That was certainly not something that I would have been willing to go along with indefinitely, at least not in the absence of children. You introduce kids and I can understand why it might be preferable, at least for the first few years of their existence.

I would recommend marriage if you plan to do this, though; cohabitation doesn’t come with much protection in the event the relationship doesn’t work out.

 

[oldbadger]

I recently obtained my Bachelors degree and planned on going into a Masters program in the near future. That has been my plan for the past few years, but a part of me has always wanted to be a stay-at-home-husband. I put that idea out of my head, because me getting a good education was really emphasized by my parents (I'm one of only two to graduate high school; let alone go to college). Nevertheless, I like the idea of staying at the home, cooking meals, caring for the house, and being there for my future husband.
...............................................................
Thoughts?

1. Do what you both agree on doing.
2. Don't worry or mind about what anybody else thinks.

Question:- Out of interest, what did you obtain your Bachelor's degree in?

 

[Servant_of_the_One1]

In Hetero marriage becoming househusband will haunt you for the rest of your life.
Men are extremely proud.

But no matter what ppl are gonna say, ignore them and do what u like.

 

[Penumbra]

Kind of an old thread now, but do what you want man. If it works for you and your partner and makes you happy, go for it.

 

[dust1n]

Given I come across some sort of wealthy wife who doesn't want to have kids and I don't actually have any responsibilities, I'd be a househusband, but I'd be pretty much doing artistic work at home. So... what does it mean. Everything is work. Go with the work you enjoy doing.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I'd be a house husband, given the choice. I'd prefer to be writing than doing what I do for employment, and that's flexible enough to fit in with house-work, etc.
But, I'm not actually very good at the writing thing, so I'd need to be in a position where I required zero income. That's a long way from where I am at...lol

My wife works part time (2 and a half days a week) since her job is flexible, and this makes sense for us as a family, in terms of balancing money, time with kids, sanity, etc.
It wasn't a gender decision for us (although I think it makes it easier that she is a woman doing it), it was a pragmatic family choice we made together.

Sidenote, the 'easier as she is a women' comment needs explaining. She has friends who are all female doing something similar. It means she can get out of the house with others she is friendly with, and who have similar interests. Whilst they are nice ladies, I'm not sure it would provide the same stress relief for me. Plus their husbands (who I like) might thump me if I start hanging around their wives TOO much...ahem...