Best Church for Singles?

[Terrywoodenpic]

And the Preachers daughter today just sent me an email saying she's dumping me after three dates because there's no romance between us. After three dates she wants romance? What's she saying - she does not find me handsome? She wants to kiss after three dates?

A preachers daughter is no different to any other girl.

You seem to have missed out something in your early years, about relationships, and especially about girls.

You probably need some help in catching up... a relationship councilor comes to mind.

Every one sends out signals and we learn to read them at a young age. you seem to have missed out somewhere along the line... perhaps you are very slightly autistic, many of us are. Any way it seems you need some guidance.

When you say the Preachers daughter dumped you because there was no spark... This is typical of the missed signals situation. You were not reading hers and you were not sending the right ones back. she could equally have said she found you boring ( can mean the same thing).

Read through what I have written again and see if it rings any bells.

 

[KeithCristian]

I went on my first date last year. Yes, I never dated any during my teens, twenties, and early thirties. I don't know women.

I talked with a Catholic Father today. He was somewhat helpful. A little more than the Episcopal Bishop. Still not hearing what I want to hear.

Last night I got really depressed. It's the same - no girlfriend no wife. I'm starting to wonder if I should just pay for a prostitute. But I consider that almost worse than murder.

I'm pretty much out of answers. I don't want to go back on Lexapro. It made me sleepy. Do I get on Prozac? Do I go make an appointment with another therapist? Do I ask for electric shock therapy?

I've been called "mellow" by many people including the LDS therapist. I know being mellow and wishy washy is a bad thing. As I told the Catholic Father - it's better to be mean, crude, evil, sitting on death row, and do evil than to be a mellow wishy washy person.

Last night I got so depressed I cried again. Feelings of being a loser in life. I felt so bad I just wished part of my mind would disappear.

No one has answers.

 

[Draka]

Do you know you are attracted to women or are you going through the motions of what you think is expected? Have you considered that you may be gay? Perhaps your sexuality is something that should be brought up in a therapy session. Your issues may stem from trying to force something that just isn't natural for you. It's something to think about.

 

[KeithCristian]

No I'm not gay. No way. Absolutely not.

 

[DavyCrocket2003]

Hi Keith. I'm really sorry about how things are going for you right now. Seriously, life can hurt. How do you feel about yourself? I think that it is important that your opinion of yourself is not tied to others' opinion of you. I think you need to look at yourself and look at what's good about you. You seem like a nice guy. Sometimes the nice guy kind of gets swept under the rug, you know what I mean? It's like you said, it's better to be mean, crude, insulting, prideful, etc. But what does better mean? If a girl or woman liked you only because of such superficial and worthless qualities, would you really be happy anyway? I mean, is it worth going against your principles to find a date? Think of this, wouldn't you want to marry/date someone who is mature and cares about real things? Like what kind of person you are inside? Like how you treat your friends and family? Like how you live the moral principles that you believe in? I admit, those kind of people are rare. But they're worth finding. What kind of person would you find worth marrying? Be that kind of person. When you feel good about yourself and are not reaching out to others for self validation, you become more confident. One thing that really drives people away is desperation. No one wants to feel like they're being latched onto. One thing you can be absolutely sure of, you are a child of God. And he loves you. He knows what a great person you are. And he also knows the pain and suffering you are going through. I really wished you lived around here. I know a really really good counselor that has helped me and some other people I know deal with similar issues. Anyway, don't give up on yourself. Good luck. I hope things start picking up for you.

 

[KeithCristian]

Do you know you are attracted to women or are you going through the motions of what you think is expected? Have you considered that you may be gay? Perhaps your sexuality is something that should be brought up in a therapy session. Your issues may stem from trying to force something that just isn't natural for you. It's something to think about.

I thought I might have been gay a few years ago. I bought a book on gay feelings and such but didn't read it. I think I was just really depressed. When I looked at gay porn it did nothing for me. I will admit tho, if God came down and said it was ok to sleep with men I would probably do it. I'm not gay or bisexual, but would I sleep with a man? Sure. But that's because I'm so lonely. I've heard jokes about gays hanging out at rest stops. Has the thought crossed my mind to visit them and look for other men? Yes. I'm not gay tho. Perhaps I'm gay in the ancient way. When I first got a computer in my early twenties I got on a gay chat group and ended up emailing an older man in Texas. That last a few weeks. He was even willing to pay for me to fly down there. I did it more as a joke than anything but sometimes I wished I would have went down there.

I did go out on a date in December a few times with a very crazy (in the head) girl. We kissed a few times. I really liked kissing her. I'm not gay. But to be real honest, I'm going to be so lonely and depressed tonight I would spend tonight with any woman or guy who wanted me.

 

[KeithCristian]

And again, I'm wishy washy.

I saw something today that got me down again. I think God was telling me something. It was a mirror image of myself. I saw myself walking on a trail at a state park, and it was a mirror image of me and want I want. The more I think about it I'm starting to wonder if what I saw today was a message of God. But I'm not sure what He was trying to tell me.

This was the day I wanted to go to an art museum with the preachers daughter and then visit a nice little restaurant down town. Sort of a Valentines date on Friday. Nope. Not going to happen. She did text me tho on my cell phone but I can't tell if it was an accidental text or it was meant for me. I don't text much. Is it easy to text the wrong person?

 

[KeithCristian]

I don't know why I get on facebook. All the people on my friends list are LDS. I had to as two councilors to add me to their facebook friends list. lol. I should pick all the ones I requested to be a friend and delete them off my friends list. I should only have those that wanted me to be a friend.

 

[Druswid]

Keith, listen to me. You're a grown man. You have the ability to search out help. Have you ever considered the possibility that you're suffering from clinical depression? It's a real and truly serious debilitating condition, but there are ways to deal with it, such as anti-depressants. Talk to a doctor. Find a really good therapist that you like and talk to them. You've got to work out whatever issues you've got with your self esteem and loneliness and possible depression before you can get women to like you. If you appear desperate, if you appear uneasy or off balance, women aren't going to be interested in you. My advice is to seek out treatment as soon as you can, and sometimes, that help won't always come from a church. There are physical ailments that matters of faith cannot aid.

 

[Ozzie]

No I'm not gay. No way. Absolutely not.

It would be easier to find a friend if you were. Maybe Draka is suggesting you consider switching? Pardon the sarcasm Keith. Really you should try one of the prosperity gospel megachurch formats. I've been told plenty of women are there.

 

[KeithCristian]

There is a mega church I went to about three Sundays ago. I was the only person in a suit and tie! Even the pastors and staff were not in a suit and tie. I felt like a fish out of water. I would like to go back. One of my sisters has friends with Pentecostals. She told me Pentecostal churches have women always looking for a husband. She said one of her friends has a Pentecostal church in mind for me.

I talked with a Catholic Father yesterday. When I got really depressed two months ago he was one of the first ones I emailed. I'm not Catholic but I figured he might have some answers. My dad was Catholic but I was not baptized nor went a Catholic church. My older brothers and sisters went to a Catholic school for a few years. My dad died when I was a six.

I was kind of shocked - I told the Catholic Father that I collected scotch before I joined the LDS church. He said - "I drink scotch every night!" I do think what the Priests do is so honorable, living a life of celibacy, devoted to Christ. Complete opposite of the LDS - have to be married if you want to receive the full blessings of God. I wish I could wipe those LDS beliefs out of my memory but I find it hard to do.

 

[Wannabe Yogi]

Last night I got so depressed I cried again. Feelings of being a loser in life. I felt so bad I just wished part of my mind would disappear.

No one has answers.

I have been reading this thread. I feel for you.

I do not believe that the place to start dealing with your problems is finding a girl friend. When you feel better that is the time to meet someone.

I believe that here are some steps to solve your problems. There is a way out of this darkness:

-See your doctor. Be honest with him. Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to see a therapist. You must advocate for your self. He might have some recommendations on how to find a good one or a free clinic. Medication might be an option.

-Exercise has been shown to be the greatest help with depression If the all you can do is walk for 40 mins 5 days a week then do it. I know that it's very hard to work out when your sad. Really it has been shown that it works better then medication.

-Talk to friends and family ( only if you think they will be helpful ) if you trust them tell them how you feel.

 

[KeithCristian]

Wondering if God does not like me. Are there other Gods? Do I worship the wrong one? Am I cursed? Am I suppose to do evil? Will that get me what I want?

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Wondering if God does not like me. Are there other Gods? Do I worship the wrong one? Am I cursed? Am I suppose to do evil? Will that get me what I want?

Keith, God loves you. That is the message of Christ. Rest in Him.

 

[Wannabe Yogi]

Wondering if God does not like me. Are there other Gods? Do I worship the wrong one? Am I cursed? Am I suppose to do evil? Will that get me what I want?

You have no need to covert to any other faith. You are not cursed or an enemy of God. You just might need a little help to get out of this hard time.

 

[KeithCristian]

I'm lonely. My head hurts. It's Saturday night and I have no one. The bottle of scotch at Walmart calls my name. I don't want to buy it tho because I know it will not cure things. And yet I'm in total misery. I called the doctor yesterday to get on Prozac but I have go in first. I called the mental health facility but they transfered me to a busy person and all I got was the answering machine.

I'm not gay. The new dating site I'm on is free and lets you contact anybody. No women in my life. Do I contact a man and see if he will cure my loneliness? Probably not because I'm not gay. I could call my one friend I work with and see if he wants to go out. I've never been to a bar before. Do I go to a club/bar with him and have a drink? I'd rather not but I feel I have no choice.

 

[KeithCristian]

I didn't go out. I called a girl I met on eharmony. She lives eighty miles away, has four little kids. We talked for about an hour. I think she might be looking for a guy who's got more money than I do. She's pretty tho.

Sunday I go to church. Perhaps two of them.

 

[Read Your Bible]

Wondering if God does not like me. Are there other Gods? Do I worship the wrong one? Am I cursed? Am I suppose to do evil? Will that get me what I want?

Well as to God, how many creators do you think there are? Well there is one Creator and he is our LORD, Jehovah in English, or Yahweah, or Jah. He is fully described in The Bible and that is the only place where we have his inspired word, or in other words where he speaks directly to us. Refer to 2 Tim 3:16. Also refer to Galatians 8:10. So if you are sincerely seeking God, then you must go to the Bible. Now the Bible at first is hard to understand for most people so it helps to have a guide. See Acts 8 and the account of Phillip and the Ethiopian. So who offers a guide and stays within the limits of the scriptures I listed above?? The only organization that follows and studies continually the scriptures and meets the requirements of the scriptures is the Jehovah's Witnesses. They will come to your home and help you to understand the bible. It is the individuals responsibility to come to an understanding of the bible so ultimately, you have to draw your own conclusions, not based on what you think, what other people think or say, not how you were raised, and not on your personal stage in life. The book of James states "Draw close to God and he will draw close to you". Bottom line, search out those that will teach you, let you come to your conclusion, based on Gods word, not what some preacher says once a week during a sermon that may make you "feel" good. There is much more to it than that. My advice to you is to follow what I suggest here. Don't believe the quick fix comments. Do believe what the bible teaches - thats Gods inspired word, nothing else is

 

[Draka]

Well as to God, how many creators do you think there are? Well there is one Creator and he is our LORD, Jehovah in English, or Yahweah, or Jah. He is fully described in The Bible and that is the only place where we have his inspired word, or in other words where he speaks directly to us. Refer to 2 Tim 3:16. Also refer to Galatians 8:10. So if you are sincerely seeking God, then you must go to the Bible. Now the Bible at first is hard to understand for most people so it helps to have a guide. See Acts 8 and the account of Phillip and the Ethiopian. So who offers a guide and stays within the limits of the scriptures I listed above?? The only organization that follows and studies continually the scriptures and meets the requirements of the scriptures is the Jehovah's Witnesses. They will come to your home and help you to understand the bible. It is the individuals responsibility to come to an understanding of the bible so ultimately, you have to draw your own conclusions, not based on what you think, what other people think or say, not how you were raised, and not on your personal stage in life. The book of James states "Draw close to God and he will draw close to you". Bottom line, search out those that will teach you, let you come to your conclusion, based on Gods word, not what some preacher says once a week during a sermon that may make you "feel" good. There is much more to it than that. My advice to you is to follow what I suggest here. Don't believe the quick fix comments. Do believe what the bible teaches - thats Gods inspired word, nothing else is

Sooooo...the JW church is full of single chicks ripe for the plucking huh? I'd have never guessed.

 

[KeithCristian]

I went to a Catholic Mass Sunday night and I was impressed.