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Can we date? I'm Buddhist but he's Druze :(

Can we date?

  • Yes

    Votes: 16 84.2%

  • No

    Votes: 3 15.8%
  • Total voters
    19
Dalia

Dalia

Mahayana Zen Buddhist and some Shinto
Greetings to you,
As you already know from my previous threads, I'm a 14 year old Buddhist girl. I fell in love with him at age 11 in grade 6. He is now 17 years old. I am allowed to date him according to my mother. The problem is we are different faith followers. If I can't date him, should I be partly member of his faith. I currently am Buddhist with some Shinto beliefs. I gathered my Shinto beliefs at age 12 and my Buddhist ones this year. How can we date?
 
Brickjectivity

Brickjectivity

Veteran Member
Staff member
Premium Member
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
I understand you, Dalia, to be asking whether it is wise and/or practical to date someone with different religious beliefs than one's own. Is that correct?

So far as I've seen, the answer largely depends on the two people involved. Beyond them, it can also depend on their parents, peers, and communities.

If you and he are the sort of people who can accept and respect others who do not hold the same beliefs as you do, then the difference in your religious beliefs should be of little problem for you. But if either one of you is the sort of person who cannot, no matter what he or she says, really accept and respect others who hold different views, then you're probably better off not dating.

Second, are the important people in your life ok with your dating? The choice of whether to date or not really should be yours and his, but as a practical matter, if your parents, peers, and communities are opposed to your dating, they can bring considerable (sometimes unfair) pressure on you two to break things off. As you mentioned, your mother is ok with it, but is his? And what of your fathers? Your best friends? Your religious communities? And so forth. If I were in your shoes, and those people were opposed to my dating someone I loved, I would probably go right ahead and date the person I loved anyway (unless it was my parents objecting to my dating them at age 14, or by doing so I risked my or my beloved's life). Love, if it is genuine love, is far more important in the long run than the often temporary disapproval of one's family, peers, etc.

That's my two cents. You've got to make up your own mind, though, because only you can live your life for yourself.
 
viole

viole

Ontological Naturalist
Premium Member
Dalia said:
Greetings to you,
As you already know from my previous threads, I'm a 14 year old Buddhist girl. I fell in love with him at age 11 in grade 6. He is now 17 years old. I am allowed to date him according to my mother. The problem is we are different faith followers. If I can't date him, should I be partly member of his faith. I currently am Buddhist with some Shinto beliefs. I gathered my Shinto beliefs at age 12 and my Buddhist ones this year. How can we date?
Click to expand...

Simple. Tell him to change his faith. Or to accept thay you have different faiths, if you agree with that.

Ciao

- viole
 
Aupmanyav

Aupmanyav

Be your own guru
I do not know where you are located and if you have sufficient faith in the person, if you have then go ahead. But leave the serious decisions for a future date. You are too young.
 
Twilight Hue

Twilight Hue

Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
Date because you like the person. It's not like a person dates a religion.

And if he druze a lot, maybe you should let him know your not that type of gal.
 
LuisDantas

LuisDantas

Aura of atheification
Premium Member
Maybe I am being naive, @Dalia but isn't that decision a private matter between you and him (and your respective families)?

As long as you are confortable with each other and your families, it should be possible to date. If you are not, then it is not worth it, regardless of whether the reasons are a mismatch of beliefs or anything else.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Godobeyer said:
She is 14 years old !
If that date (meetin) turned to sex ?
Click to expand...

She was asking only about the wisdom of dating someone with different religious beliefs, if I understood her correctly. But I agree with you, a fourteen year old dating a seventeen year old can -- depending on the seventeen year old -- be placed under considerable pressure to make decisions she doesn't want to make, or which are not true to herself. However, in this case, her own mother thinks her daughter is ready to date the seventeen year old, and almost certainly knows more about the situation than either you or I do.
 
Godobeyer

Godobeyer

the word "Islam" means "submission" to God
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
She was asking only about the wisdom of dating someone with different religious beliefs, if I understood her correctly. But I agree with you, a fourteen year old dating a seventeen year old can -- depending on the seventeen year old -- be placed under considerable pressure to make decisions she doesn't want to make, or which are not true to herself. However, in this case, her own mother thinks her daughter is ready to date the seventeen year old, and almost certainly knows more about the situation than either you or I do.
Click to expand...
I am curious what she meant by "date".
Because I think commun sense is about sex, no ?
 
Rival

Rival

Diex Aie
Staff member
Premium Member
Godobeyer said:
If she meant sex, would you agree with that ?

btw do you have any advise about that (in that part) ?
Click to expand...
Godobeyer, bro, there is a reason I'm not staff anymore lol.

My opinion on this needs to stay away from RF.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Godobeyer said:
I am curious what she meant by "date".
Because I think commun sense is about sex, no ?
Click to expand...

Date does not imply inevitable sex. At least not in America. Although there is certainly a tendency -- that seems to increase with age -- to have sex with someone that you date repeatedly. I don't know what the statistics are on that, though.
 
Godobeyer

Godobeyer

the word "Islam" means "submission" to God
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
Date does not imply inevitable sex. At least not in America. Although there is certainly a tendency -- that seems to increase with age -- to have sex with someone that you date repeatedly. I don't know what the statistics are on that, though.
Click to expand...
I follow Western movies , most of time when they talk about date, so it's about meeting, end with sex activities :D
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Godobeyer said:
I follow Western movies , most of time when they talk about date, so it's about meeting end with sex activities :D
Click to expand...


LOL! Excellent! Of course, there is no more accurate a depiction of actual Western cultural norms than our movies! Heck, everything Hollywood produces can be considered to be an accurate documentary of what goes on in our country! I've said so myself for many years.
 
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