Catholic Church Denies First Communion to Girl Who Wanted to Wear a Suit

[Skwim]

"A 9-year-old girl wasn't able to participate in her first Holy Communion because she wanted to wear a suit.

​

"They said, 'We're hearing rumors so we want to know what she's wearing,'" the girl's mother, Chris Mansell said, adding that she felt the school's newly issued dress code requiring all girls to wear long sleeve white dresses was created to single her daughter out.

Administrators at the school, which is under the jurisdiction of the local Roman Catholic diocese, gave the family a choice: Either Cady wears a dress to the communion, or she could have a separate, private ceremony without her friends and classmates.

"He said we're raising our daughter wrong for not making her dress in a feminine way," Mansell said. "That's when I decided then and there to fight because they're purposefully excluding my daughter."

"My daughter just wants to wear pants while worshipping the Lord and receiving the Eucharist with her classmates," Mansell wrote in the post. "She's not hurting anyone. However, being excluded and ostracized IS hurting her.”

But the priest and school administrators held firm and when the first communion ceremony began, Cady was not allowed to participate. Administrators from St. John did not return a request for comment.

The family said they are crushed by the school’s decision, and have decided to remove Cady and her sister from the parish and place them in another school."
source
​

Of course, a religion can make whatever rules it wants on what ever subject it wishes, but this strikes me as pretty unreasonable as well as hurtful. As brought out in the article, it wasn't that the girl didn't deserve to take her first communion, but that she didn't deserve to appear with the other kids when she did. The only reason I can think of is that the powers in charge were concerned with making an impression on the attending parishioners. The impression on parishioners being more important than the feelings of some kid and her participation in her first mass.

Kind of sad when one thinks about it.

.

 

[Debater Slayer]

If only the Catholic Church exerted as much effort to combat child sexual abuse as it has done for inconsequential things like this...

 

[Father]

"Is that Hypocrisy I smell? oh well if it isn't the Roman Catholic Church. and no little Timmy glued to your Crotch? Progress!" - Alucard

Much like your Messiah.
in all seriousness, this counts as surprising? it makes sense. the priests don't like being tricked into thinking that it's a little boy. ok ok, il stop... stop... much like the altar boy said...

 

[David1967]

"A 9-year-old girl wasn't able to participate in her first Holy Communion because she wanted to wear a suit.

​

"They said, 'We're hearing rumors so we want to know what she's wearing,'" the girl's mother, Chris Mansell said, adding that she felt the school's newly issued dress code requiring all girls to wear long sleeve white dresses was created to single her daughter out.

Administrators at the school, which is under the jurisdiction of the local Roman Catholic diocese, gave the family a choice: Either Cady wears a dress to the communion, or she could have a separate, private ceremony without her friends and classmates.

"He said we're raising our daughter wrong for not making her dress in a feminine way," Mansell said. "That's when I decided then and there to fight because they're purposefully excluding my daughter."

"My daughter just wants to wear pants while worshipping the Lord and receiving the Eucharist with her classmates," Mansell wrote in the post. "She's not hurting anyone. However, being excluded and ostracized IS hurting her.”

But the priest and school administrators held firm and when the first communion ceremony began, Cady was not allowed to participate. Administrators from St. John did not return a request for comment.

The family said they are crushed by the school’s decision, and have decided to remove Cady and her sister from the parish and place them in another school."
source​

Of course, a religion can make whatever rules it wants on what ever subject it wishes, but this strikes me as pretty unreasonable as well as hurtful. As brought out in the article, it wasn't that the girl didn't deserve to take her first communion, but that she didn't deserve to appear with the other kids when she did. The only reason I can think of is that the powers in charge were concerned with making an impression on the attending parishioners. The impression on parishioners being more important than the feelings of some kid and her participation in her first mass.

Kind of sad when one thinks about it.

.

I would just tell them to stick it, and get my kid far far away from that place.

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Kind of hypocritical since they dress up baby boys in dresses to be baptised...

But yeah I do openly question the wisdom of anybody who lets their child anywhere near such kiddy-fiddling institutes like the Catholic Church. Just because girls get abused less often than boys do doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

 

[pearl]

Administrators at the school, which is under the jurisdiction of the local Roman Catholic diocese, gave the family a choice: Either Cady wears a dress to the communion, or she could have a separate, private ceremony without her friends and classmates.

The most unfortunate outcome in of all this is loosing sight of the sacrament itself which ought to have been at the fore. Both parties are guilty of this. In our diocese preparation for sacraments is always at the parish level and mandatory for Catholic school students to attend. The school has no say. When my children received first communion, way back in the '70's we were warned not to wear white dresses or suits for communion, as it distracted from the purpose. Only one child dressed in white communion dress.

 

[metis]

Kind of sad when one thinks about it.

I agree, especially in light of how some people dress when they attend mass.

 

[Mister Silver]

Kind of sad when one thinks about it.
.

I think the girl looks better in a suit than she probably would have in a dress.

 

[metis]

Kind of hypocritical since they dress up baby boys in dresses to be baptised...

It's really more like a mini-robe, which is traditional.

But yeah I do openly question the wisdom of anybody who lets their child anywhere near such kiddy-fiddling institutes like the Catholic Church.

That's really a stereotype as, even though I'm not Catholic (nor Christian), I've been attending different Catholic churches with my wife and we brought up our children Catholic. I studied this issue very thoroughly even before it became a much larger public issue, influenced by the fact that our youngest daughter was sexually abused by the choir director at my wife's church, and the church did fire him but then we found out he simply was moved by the diocese to another church.

The RCC by no means has a monopoly on this tragedy, as you mention above. However, it was the terrible and immoral mishandling of these cases, all the way up from many of the parishes to the Vatican itself.

 

[A Vestigial Mote]

Nothing like wearing your judgmental attitude on your sleeve for the world to see... and then not responding to queries about it because you're wearing embarrassment on your other sleeve.

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

It's really more like a mini-robe, which is traditional.

That's really a stereotype as, even though I'm not Catholic (nor Christian), I've been attending different Catholic churches with my wife and we brought up our children Catholic. I studied this issue very thoroughly even before it became a much larger public issue, influenced by the fact that our youngest daughter was sexually abused by the choir director at my wife's church, and the church did fire him but then we found out he simply was moved by the diocese to another church.

If it's a stereotype then it's a well-deserved one that sticks. Your own experience shows the Church was prepared to shunt your daughter's abuser around rather than risk him being prosecuted. The Catholic Church has shown systemic complacency and even complicity (as in the case of your daughter's abuser, among many others) in enabling paedophiles to indulge their disgusting habits.

The number of people of various ages who have come forward with claims & tales of abuse suffered at the hands of priests, monks & nuns show the Church has been sheltering abusers for a long time.

The RCC by no means has a monopoly on this tragedy, as you mention above. However, it was the terrible and immoral mishandling of these cases, all the way up from many of the parishes to the Vatican itself.

I don't believe I said the RCC has a monopoly on this tragedy. I'm only mentioning the Catholic Church in isolation because that is the organisation which is the subject of the thread.

 

[metis]

I don't believe I said the RCC has a monopoly on this tragedy.

Which is why I wrote "The RCC by no means has a monopoly on this tragedy, as you mention above. "

 

[columbus]

"A 9-year-old girl wasn't able to participate in her first Holy Communion because she wanted to wear a suit.

Do you even realize that both this and your OP title are flat out false?

The Communicant's family prevented her from participation in the Sacrament. Not the Roman Catholic church.
Tom

 

[Stevicus]

Of course, a religion can make whatever rules it wants on what ever subject it wishes, but this strikes me as pretty unreasonable as well as hurtful. As brought out in the article, it wasn't that the girl didn't deserve to take her first communion, but that she didn't deserve to appear with the other kids when she did. The only reason I can think of is that the powers in charge were concerned with making an impression on the attending parishioners. The impression on parishioners being more important than the feelings of some kid and her participation in her first mass.

Kind of sad when one thinks about it.

.

Yeah, it is kind of sad, in more ways than one.

I remember my first communion. Looking back, I also find it sad that my parents dragged me off to church every week and made me have to go through this whole ritualistic thing called "first communion."

So, I can sympathize with this kid, to have to go through all that and face this kind of attitude. But it's the church. What do they expect?

Perhaps they should write to the Pope and ask for a ruling.

 

[Skwim]

Do you even realize that both this and your OP title are flat out false?

The Communicant's family prevented her from participation in the Sacrament. Not the Roman Catholic church.
Tom

Aside from changing the first word of the title from "Indiana" to "Catholic," which I feel is more relevant, the title is not mine. It's the title of the online article. That said, to a degree I do agree. She was offered a private "ceremony" (I assume the term "ceremony" is used because it doesn't meet the definition of Holy Communion). As for being prevented from participating in the Sacrament with the other kids, both her parents and the church bear responsibility. IMO the church likely created the asinine rule to specifically excluded her as she was dressed, and her parents refused to abide by it.

.

 

[columbus]

side from changing the first word of the title from "Indiana" to "Catholic," which I feel is more relevant, the title is not mine. It's the title of the online article. That said, to a degree I do agree.

It's still false.
Fake News, if you will.
The fact is that the RCC took the Sacrament more seriously than the parents of the Communicant. The parents put dress above community and that's why what happened is what happened.

Suppose the Communicant really wanted to wear her new bikini? Or that black thing Muslimas wear? Or her favorite Rap artists misogynous tee? Or a scarlet push up bra outside of her white gown?

Are there any limits to what you find oppressive?
Tom

 

[David1967]

It's really more like a mini-robe, which is traditional.

That's really a stereotype as, even though I'm not Catholic (nor Christian), I've been attending different Catholic churches with my wife and we brought up our children Catholic. I studied this issue very thoroughly even before it became a much larger public issue, influenced by the fact that our youngest daughter was sexually abused by the choir director at my wife's church, and the church did fire him but then we found out he simply was moved by the diocese to another church.

The RCC by no means has a monopoly on this tragedy, as you mention above. However, it was the terrible and immoral mishandling of these cases, all the way up from many of the parishes to the Vatican itself.

Metis, I am sorry that happened to your daughter. The fact that they just sent the scum to another church exposes the corruption within that organization. Sending him to another church knowing that pedophiles are almost always repeat offenders? Knowing they were just giving this individual a whole new crop of unsuspecting victims? (must have put a smile on his face),Seriously? These are people that are supposed to be trustworthy. And beyond that. Why were charges not brought against this individual and him put in jail?

 

[Jainarayan]

I'm no fan of the RCC and only marginally less critical of the EOC, but I think tradition is tradition. I don't think a girl wearing a white boy's suit for her First Holy Communion is appropriate at all. Not to mention the hairstyle. I can just see it now... one of the nuns who doesn't know the girl, or know she's a girl tries to get her into the boys' line. Now someone's madder than a wet long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I'm not sure why these parents expected anything else but close-mindedness when it comes to this.

 

[The Emperor of Mankind]

Which is why I wrote "The RCC by no means has a monopoly on this tragedy, as you mention above. "

Sorry about that. I placed the wrong emphasis on the last few words there. My mistake!