• Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Childhood Rules for Grown-Ups

Kilgore Trout

Kilgore Trout

Misanthropic Humanist
You can be whatever you want to when you grow up. Even President of America!

Always listen to your teacher, because she knows what she's talking about.

You better do what I told you, or else! I'm going to count to 3.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Don't jump off a cliff just because all your friends are doing it. Instead, jump off the cliff when in hot pursuit by the cops.
 
Draka

Draka

Wonder Woman
NocLue said:
I really have to think about that. But for now, I would like to focus on the "No Backtalk". So here is my question. If there is no backtalk from us to superiors, and from inferiors to us. And if they/we don't have a chance to point out what they/we feel is wrong in a specific situation. How are we going to improve as people?
Click to expand...

Here, let me help you improve as a person and understand that there is a difference between constructive feedback and criticism and what is known as "backtalk", otherwise known as smarkalek sassing.
 
Kilgore Trout

Kilgore Trout

Misanthropic Humanist
Draka said:
Here, let me help you improve as a person and understand that there is a difference between constructive feedback and criticism and what is known as "backtalk", otherwise known as smarkalek sassing.
Click to expand...

What's a smarkalek?

Nanny-nanny-boo-boo!

Pppppbbbbbttttt!!!!!
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
Draka said:
Here, let me help you improve as a person and understand that there is a difference between constructive feedback and criticism and what is known as "backtalk", otherwise known as smarkalek sassing.
Click to expand...

No backtalk has always been a terrible way to put it.

Back-talk, talk- back.

In other words shuht up and dont express yourself and ghe grown up is always right.

Thats one thing I wont teach my kids.
 
4consideration

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Me Myself said:
No backtalk has always been a terrible way to put it.

Back-talk, talk- back.

In other words shuht up and dont express yourself and ghe grown up is always right.

Thats one thing I wont teach my kids.
Click to expand...

Oh, yeah! Just wait until you are in a heated dispute with a 5 year old over why he can't play in a busy street -- because there are no cars coming RIGHT NOW, this very second. Yeah, it's probably because you don't want him to have any fun. :)

There's a point where because "I said so" is the only reasonable response to end a conversation with a person that can't really reason yet will accept. He's going to need something to complain about in therapy in 15 years -- might as well be that!
 
Shadow Wolf

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
Not sure of the exact rules, but my mom taught me respect, which at least around here seems to be something few parents teach their children.
But most of my mom's rules were over protective, over bearing, and unreasonable. If I ever do have kids, unlike me, they wont be scolded if some sort of porn pop-up add appears (didn't matter it was legitametly something I didn't do and my mom for some reason didn't realize I could easily wipe all history and cookies even though she knew how good I was with computers then).
 
4consideration

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Sunstone said:
Not to mention he'll need material for his autobiography, "Mommie Dearest".
Click to expand...

No kidding. I had that actual experience of this dispute with my son. I went through such a lengthy explanation of other factors involved, like cars that will be coming soon, predictably, and fast... and he was sticking to a technical position.

At that point, I abandoned "I will explain everything to my children so they will learn to think for themselves" for "because I said so" -- and got ok with the fact that at that point in time I was really more concerned with their physical well-being than anything else.

In frustration I actually said something like, "well I'm just trying to make sure that you live long enough to have to work this out in therapy." He didn't accept it -- so "because I said so" was my final answer.

(I actually use my willingness to provide a detailed explanation of the situation, if they don't want to take my word for it -- as leverage for compliance at times. :D)
 
Me Myself

Me Myself

Back to my username
4consideration said:
Oh, yeah! Just wait until you are in a heated dispute with a 5 year old over why he can't play in a busy street -- because there are no cars coming RIGHT NOW, this very second. Yeah, it's probably because you don't want him to have any fun. :)

There's a point where because "I said so" is the only reasonable response to end a conversation with a person that can't really reason yet will accept. He's going to need something to complain about in therapy in 15 years -- might as well be that!
Click to expand...

I would go with. "Because I feed you and I want to keep doing it" but sure, that is a different scenario.

The problem is that "because I said so" still will need an explanation to the very least afterwards, and treating all talks as no feedback allowed interactions is not reasonable.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
4consideration said:
No kidding. I had that actual experience of this dispute with my son. I went through such a lengthy explanation of other factors involved, like cars that will be coming soon, predictably, and fast... and he was sticking to a technical position.

At that point, I abandoned "I will explain everything to my children so they will learn to think for themselves" for "because I said so" -- and got ok with the fact that at that point in time I was really more concerned with their physical well-being than anything else.

In frustration I actually said something like, "well I'm just trying to make sure that you live long enough to have to work this out in therapy." He didn't accept it -- so "because I said so" was my final answer.

(I actually use my willingness to provide a detailed explanation of the situation, if they don't want to take my word for it -- as leverage for compliance at times. :D)
Click to expand...

Sounds pretty much like how my mom raised my brothers and I. She'd begin with an explanation. If and when we didn't accept that, there would come a point when she'd say, "When you grow up, you can play in the street all you want. But not now. Not at your age. And because I'm the mommy and I said so!"

It didn't hurt us kids at all. We still grew up to become reasonably questioning adults who more or less march to our own drum beat.
 
4consideration

4consideration

*
Premium Member
Me Myself said:
I would go with. "Because I feed you and I want to keep doing it" but sure, that is a different scenario.

The problem is that "because I said so" still will need an explanation to the very least afterwards, and treating all talks as no feedback allowed interactions is not reasonable.
Click to expand...

I agree with that.

I guess I just wanted to get my personal story in. :)
 
N

NocLue

Member
4consideration said:
Oh, yeah! Just wait until you are in a heated dispute with a 5 year old over why he can't play in a busy street -- because there are no cars coming RIGHT NOW, this very second. Yeah, it's probably because you don't want him to have any fun. :)

There's a point where because "I said so" is the only reasonable response to end a conversation with a person that can't really reason yet will accept. He's going to need something to complain about in therapy in 15 years -- might as well be that!
Click to expand...


If people raised them right. Therapy would not be necessary now would it?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top