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Christians - what is your answer to a simple question

Kathryn

Kathryn

It was on fire when I laid down on it.
If I had an adult child in a common law marriage, in which they called each other husband and wife, I would consider allowing them to sleep in the same room.

As for old friends living together - I don't have any old friends who are shacking up with anyone. I guess birds of a feather flock together. I cannot imagine a situation in which I would have "business associates" staying in my house on business - why wouldn't they stay in a hotel? Casual acquaintances also wouldn't be staying in my house - if I don't know someone very well, they aren't sleeping over.

In some sort of emergency situation with people I didn't know well - I would direct two unmarried adults to two separate guest rooms and leave it at that. It's not like I would check up on them in the middle of the night. If they were rude or odd enough to say, "No thanks, we'll sleep in the same room," (remember, we're talking about people I don't know well), I would say, "Well, that's up to you, but considering you're not married, we prefer you sleep in separate bedrooms."

As far as cousins or other adult relatives - they need to abide by the standards of my house if they are visiting.
 
michel

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
Sorry guys; this is my first chance to come on the forum since the OP.

I am actually in Barcelone, visiting my son and his wife who has just given birth to a lovely looking guy called Daniel!

Partner (in the OP) did have " a sexual relationship "implied in the example.

Lol, I am so dumb that it never ocurred to me that it might even be a same sex partner........... I was thinking how my two sons just took it for granted that we would not say anything if they turned up with their "I think we may well marry some day, just not yet"..........as it happens they are both married to the particular girls now.

The question came up because, taking the Bible as a book of rules as well as a history book, I read it as condoning a sin to let the situation arise (and therefore culpable)!!!

Sorry, I'll get back on here when we get home later this week.
 
Quiddity

Quiddity

UndertheInfluenceofGiants
Your home, your rules.

If they get ****** because they couldn't have sex in your home (of all times to do it), well then they can come some other day when they aren't in that mood or something. They should know how mom and dad are anyways.

Young adults leave their homes to do whatever the hell they want and come home to feel safe and stable.
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
*This is a good reason to convert their old bedroom into a gameroom, assuming I already have a home office/library.

That way there is no guestroom and they have to sleep on cots in my office. haha
 
uu_sage

uu_sage

Active Member
Sex and sexuality are gifts of God and they should be embraced rather than being shamed. When my fiance and I are married and we have kids, we would allow them to share the bed, and make love. We would encourage them to use contraception and make sure you do it with someone they trust, know and love.
 
ninerbuff

ninerbuff

godless wonder
Freaker said:
Lets see what Bible has to say

You shall not commit adultery.Exodus 20:14

27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body thrown into hell. 30 If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away! It is better to lose one of your members than to have your whole body go into hell (Matthew 5:27-30).

And a certain ruler questioned Him, saying, "Good Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?" And Jesus said to him, "Why do you call Me good? No one is good except God alone. You know the commandments, 'Do not commit adultery, do not murder, do not steal, do not bear false witness, honor your father and mother.'" (NAS, Luke 18:18-20)

Proverbs 6:32 "But a man who commits adultery lacks judgment; whoever does so destroys himself."
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Lol, the bible also states that adultery is forgivable.
 
Renji

Renji

Well-Known Member
I don't really get the idea why topics like this are always addressed to Christians, while in fact, this was just a topic about children following the house rules of their parents, and parental concern of the parents to their children..
 
Mr Orange

Mr Orange

Meditate
I would allow them. As long as they know about protection ...which they will. Then fine. I would prefer them not to have 'relations' in other places. In my experiance if you don't let them have time to themselfs. They tend to go else were..
 
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Katzpur

Katzpur

Not your average Mormon
michel said:
As a Christian, if your son (or daughter) brings home a partner to spend the night where you live, would you let them share a bed (presuming that they are not married)?
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If they were underage, I'd say 'No, definitely not.' My thirty-year-old son's former fiancee was living with him before and after they got engaged. I'm trying to think of a situation in which they'd even have needed to stay at my house, but if they had, I think it would have been pretty silly of me to expect them to have separate bedrooms. I wouldn't have been happy about what they were up to, and they would undoubtedly know my feelings, but if they'd been sexually active for several years, I don't really know what I'd be accomplishing by saying, "Not in my house."
 
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Pegg

Pegg

Jehovah our God is One
michel said:
As a Christian, if your son (or daughter) brings home a partner to spend the night where you live, would you let them share a bed (presuming that they are not married)?
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it really depends on the circumstances.

if my kids are still 'kids' and living at home and in my care, then no way.

If my kids are grown adults and making their own decisions but living under my roof, I wouldnt let their partner sleep over but would let them come over and visit so I could get to know them.

If my kids are grown adults and living away from home but are coming home for a visit and want to bring their partner, then i'd say yes.
 
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W

weirdpuckett

Member
I would tie them both in a bunting bag and force them to sleep next to each other! Just to torture them in return for trying to torture me! LOL!
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
Kathryn said:
Wow, why the disparity?

Assuming it's a girl your son brings home, she's somebody else's baby girl he's bonking.

And how is it more right for a guy to do this than a girl?
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... and someone else's problem ....:p

Seriously, for me, it's situational. Not all kids are the same.
 
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Dezzie

Dezzie

Well-Known Member
Personally, the marriage doesn't matter to me, it's the age. If my children are under 18 they wouldn't be allowed to share their bed with their partner (under my roof). I would encourage them not to sleep with the opposite sex outside of my home as well (if they are under 18), but you can't always see what your children are doing.

I can not tell my children to wait till marriage, because I didn't. It would be very hypocritical of me to say anything... I just would want a little respect under my own roof. Once they turn 18, I wouldn't have too much of an issue with it, since they are technically an adult.

As long as you enforce certain rules in your household and raise your kids well, you shouldn't have a major problem with your kids sharing the bed with the opposite sex (or even the same sex) at 18. A big thing when raising children is to trust them. If you don't trust them, and they know it, it will make them think they can't trust themselves.
 
C

CyraEm

Member
It depends on the situation. I know that I, as a teenager, wanted nothing more than to sleep next to the one I cared for. I wanted nothing dirty out of it. And I resented the assumption. And I went to great lengths to procure the privilege. I don't think that people sharing a bed necessitates sex. I mean, most people don't blink twice at their children sharing a bed with their same sex peers, and assuming the child's orientation is unknown, the same opportunity is there. It depends on the child, the situation, and the person coming over. I definitely wouldn't allow it with someone I wasn't familiar with.
 
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