Is God infinity?
Or is it beyond infinity?
Or maybe there is no infinite at all?
I would say God is Infinite, or "the Infinite". Is there no infinite? Well, as an argument I'd say you have to have some paper on which all things are drawn upon. If there is an edge to that paper, then that paper exists only in reference to something beyond itself in order to call it an "it". So yes, if there is the finite, it would have to be against that which is not finite. It's that not-finite we call infinity.
infinite is like nothing.
It is not "nothing", but rather it is no-thing. "It" itself is not an object, for if "it" were, it would be finite.
Rather than calling infinity as a thing, an object, I would say God is Infinite - without boundaries or edges, including everything, excluding nothing.
Yet to me it works just the other way around...
to know yourself is to know a god is not controlling humans, rather we do.
to know a god...humans is to know yourself
To be clear, I would never use the term "a god", or "a God" for that matter. God just "is". There is no "a" to it. But yes, to understand the nature of Godhead does negate "a God", defined as something outside controlling you; a deity, a guy in the sky sort of anthropomorphic projection. That's just an extension of our own self-image.
I only started getting to know myself, my true natural self, only after I stopped believing in a god.
Indeed. Yes. When you stop looking outside yourself to know yourself, you start to move within, and ultimately beyond even that self-image when you go far enough. Then what you find, is that what you were looking to find in imagining God in heaven, you find in yourself. You find Self. You find God. And that is less "evidence" as it is a realization of what has always been the case.
Imagination is awesome
Indeed, but it can also lead to self-delusion, mistaking what we imagine to be true as reality itself. Such is the case in imagining we truly know ourselves as that person looking at himself in the mirror and saying "That is me". It's like looking at your knee and saying "I am that knee", whereas that knee is your body, not the one asking the question or making that statement.
But the question is if that personal god of yours can act on me?
The Face we put upon the Infinite is God to us. I think of it like this. The highest form of that Infinite, Formlessness beyond it, Godhead, is to us unimaginable Love, Light, and Truth. These are not emotions, but conditions of being. That is always present beyond the veil of the limits of our imaginations of truth and reality. Like the presence of heat from the sun, it acts upon us at all times.
But it is not in the magical sense of a Greek god manipulating us by its independent will as a separate person, pulling a thread and cutting it and we drop dead, or something like that. All those are just stories to try to talk about the Mystery of life in fictions that convey certain levels of understanding and appreciation, as childish as those may seem to us at this point.
We all arise from same Source into our myriad forms of existence. We live, we grow, we fade, we pass. And so it goes on and on. You could think of it like the paper on which all circles of life are drawn. Without that paper, the line is nothing. Yet that paper is not the lines; yet not separate from them. Without the paper, the line does not exist.
You can also think of it in terms of music. The foundation of music is not the notes and the rhythms and the melodies. The foundation is Silence. From this Source, the notes arise and are manifest. Form and Formlessness. When you return to Silence, the form becomes clearly and brilliantly heard, taking a myriad directions become distinct songs. So it is with us as human beings. To return to Source, allows all those notes to become clear and distinct, rather than buzzing chainsaw of indistinguishable noise, and not music at all.
Sorry.. can't quite understand the analogy.
We spend our lives trying to find who and what we are through looking outside ourselves, by looking to see ourselves reflected to ourselves through others, to explore this or that interest or talent, to form a self-identity. In the spiritual sense, we may look to the "higher self", God to learn the larger questions of life, those of ultimate meaning. The entire time all this is going on, that Self we seek to know is the one seeking.
Like I said, it's like trying to find your own eyes while you're seeking them looking out of them the whole time. When you enter in Silence, you remove all those objects and projections of self and find it was never anywhere else but right here the whole time. You discover the eyes themselves, and the search is over. Now it's just a matter of seeing through them.