Cognitive dissonance

[Phasmid]

As a Buddhist, do you find you often suffer from cognitive dissonance or get confused about who you are/what you like?

For example, I get in a muddle about tiny details like, "Do I prefer tea or coffee?" Or I'll be playing a game and have to choose something like a colour for my character, and I'll spend ages thinking, "What's my favourite colour? Do I even have a favourite colour? Is this really me?" etc. and it's... annoying...

Anyone else get this? If so how do you deal with it? I know it seems trivial, but it's not when you expand it into its wider context e.g. "Who am I?"

 

[zenzero]

Friend Phasmid,

That surely is the MIND working overtime to trap you back in its fold!

Personally have no problem as am yet to find what I looked like before was born.

Love & rgds

 

[Master Vigil]

I think of this as an extension of simple zazen. The point is not to think about nothing, but when a thought rises... you recognize it and then drop it. Much the same with your situations. If the moment calls for you to pick a color, it's not about "what is your favorite color", but what is your favorite color in that exact moment. It's when you start trying to raid your mind for "things" that you get into trouble. Like zenzero said. Your mind starts to work overtime trying to bring that ego back. Does that make sense?

 

[koan]

There is a Zen expression (which Nike borrowed), Don't think about it, Just do it. There is no real right and wrong in Buddhism (some may argue this). If we do something and it doesn't work, then hopefuly we have learn't something. The point being, dithering is a mind confused.

 

[zenzero]

Friends,

Mind always tries to hang on to something even a straw to be alive and kicking.
Those who realises this becomes aware of the mind's doing automatically transcends it others have to keep groping for it but for everyone the journey continues irrespective of being aware or not as this is the maya/illusion which is a mystery etc.
Love & rgds

 

[PureX]

As a Buddhist, do you find you often suffer from cognitive dissonance or get confused about who you are/what you like?

For example, I get in a muddle about tiny details like, "Do I prefer tea or coffee?" Or I'll be playing a game and have to choose something like a colour for my character, and I'll spend ages thinking, "What's my favourite colour? Do I even have a favourite colour? Is this really me?" etc. and it's... annoying...

Anyone else get this? If so how do you deal with it? I know it seems trivial, but it's not when you expand it into its wider context e.g. "Who am I?"

Whatever you do, it will still be you doing it. So relax and let yourself be spontaneous. See who shows up.

 

[Ben Dhyan]

Hi Phasmid, very good question and one that is relevant to all of humanity who are seriously attempting to understand 'what' and 'who' they are.

Since PureX gave some additional focus to the subject, my response addresses (IMO) the salient issue he raised.

Whatever you do, it will still be you doing it. So relax and let yourself be spontaneous. See who shows up.

Hi PureX, true but when all 'inclinations' show up simultaneously, cognitive dissonance results.

This is a given, and the reason why the four noble truths is given as a temporary expedient for basic guidance to function in the world, whilst continuing practicing meditation which is predicated on the ultimate realization of what and who one really is.

When the underlying unity of all that exists is truly realized, there is nothing that remains to be done, and the reason for 'doing' and/or 'not doing' no longer disturbs the peace that passes understanding,..nirvana.

IOW, there is no separate "I' to be spontaneously responding or not responding, for all that exists is the indivisible Whole whose awareness is harmoniously omnipresent in all that is.

 

[PureX]

Hi PureX, true but when all 'inclinations' show up simultaneously, cognitive dissonance results.

This is a given, and the reason why the four noble truths is given as a temporary expedient for basic guidance to function in the world, whilst continuing practicing meditation which is predicated on the ultimate realization of what and who one really is.

When the underlying unity of all that exists is truly realized, there is nothing that remains to be done, and the reason for 'doing' and/or 'not doing' no longer disturbs the peace that passes understanding,..nirvana.

IOW, there is no separate "I' to be spontaneously responding or not responding, for all that exists is the indivisible Whole whose awareness is harmoniously omnipresent in all that is.

I agree with this, but it's too complicated for me to live by. I have to trust in my instincts and let myself be myself without all that second-minding or I'd just be stuck in a state of perpetual confusion.

One of the reasons I like taoism so much is that unlike almost every other paradigm I've come across, it is not concerned with being "right". It's considered to be part of the tao of mankind to be foolish, and superstitious, and confused. So taoism accepts foolishness, superstition, and confusion. And to this day, we'll find all sorts of confusing, foolish, and superstition-based descriptions of "taoism" all over the internet, because taoists don't bother to separate themselves from these, though they have nothing to do with taoism, itself.

The tao of the tao is paradox. It's Yin and Yang simultaneously. That "dissonance" you feel is YOU. Both of you. All of those you's inside of you. *haha*

 

[Engyo]

As a Buddhist, do you find you often suffer from cognitive dissonance or get confused about who you are/what you like?

For example, I get in a muddle about tiny details like, "Do I prefer tea or coffee?" Or I'll be playing a game and have to choose something like a colour for my character, and I'll spend ages thinking, "What's my favourite colour? Do I even have a favourite colour? Is this really me?" etc. and it's... annoying...

Anyone else get this? If so how do you deal with it? I know it seems trivial, but it's not when you expand it into its wider context e.g. "Who am I?"

Hi, Phasmid -

My answer in many of these situations is "Does it matter?" I have learned to trust my feelings much more. If I decide I want tea today instead of coffee, cool. If not, then not. Today I might choose a drab green, and on Thursday a bright red might be my choice. And if I learn something (I really don't like that type of tea, for example) then next time that one won't be on the list of choices.

"Don't sweat the small stuff. And its all small stuff."

 

[MSizer]

May I be an annoying pest? Sorry, I feel a bit like a party pooper because I'm neither buddhist, nor contributing an answer to the OP, but I would like to point out that cognitive dissonance is a psychological theory about how people tend to justify conflicting observations (by special pleading for example, or believing something by faith even though s/he might deny it's possibility in any other circumstance), not about trying to decide a preference. I hope I don't stop the flow of your thread, I'd just like to respectfully point it out. (no disrespect intended, please don't think I'm just trying to be a nag).

 

[Phasmid]

I just went by the web definition of, "Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously."

 

[imaginaryme]

I just went by the web definition of, "Cognitive dissonance is an uncomfortable feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas simultaneously."

No problems with that spontaneity, huh?

 

[chilliwack]

>As a Buddhist, do you find you often suffer from cognitive dissonance
>or get confused about who you are/what you like?

Actually it's just the opposite for me, after a life changing car crash I found myself confused about who or what was like. So I was trying to find answers with Buddhism. There is some interesting things in it. But to be honest I am still just as confused.

 

[Ben Dhyan]

Hi chilliwack, welcome to RF.

Not sure if this is even relevant but FWIW,...

Destroy 'the ego', hound it, beat it, snub it, tell it where it gets off?
Great fun, no doubt, but where is it?
Must you not find it first?
Isn't there a word about catching your goose before you can cook it?
The great difficulty here is that there isn't one.

- 'Posthumous Pieces' by Wei Wu Wei

 

[MountainHumanist]

As a Buddhist, do you find you often suffer from cognitive dissonance or get confused about who you are/what you like?

For example, I get in a muddle about tiny details like, "Do I prefer tea or coffee?" Or I'll be playing a game and have to choose something like a colour for my character, and I'll spend ages thinking, "What's my favourite colour? Do I even have a favourite colour? Is this really me?" etc. and it's... annoying...

Anyone else get this? If so how do you deal with it? I know it seems trivial, but it's not when you expand it into its wider context e.g. "Who am I?"

Let's take a page from the Bodhidharma legend: "Who is asking this question?" Hope that helps.