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Coming to terms

S

Stash

Member
Hi, this is my first real post, aside from the intro. So hi :) Sorry if its in the wrong section.. feel free to boot it where ever it goes.


When I was a teenager, I slowly began to realize that what I was learning through church just wasnt cutting it (baptist-nondenomational). I started to really examine what I beleived and I found that the concepts and beliefs of Paganism really seemed to resonate with me. I felt in touch and plugged in to the world for the first time. Studying about "Pagan" things really, over the course of the years, sparked an interest in science at a later age. I am back at school, with dreams (long term dreams) of teaching on a college level, either some sort of evolutionary study, or biology... not sure on that yet. . anyway, all this study of evolution and science has pretty much, in my mind anyway, made God obsolete. Really understanding evolution, what it really means, and how it really works, has made it quite difficult to imagine why on earth, with the knowledge that we have, does anyone beleive this crap about a god?
But my next thought is "oh s**t, Gods gonna strike me down"
I guess I want to hear from others who are Atheist.. did you have a period of time when you were as dumbfounded as I am that people beleive this stuff, and then the next breath, afraid "God" heard you?
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
I have no fear that god might be mad at me, because I feel quite certain that I don't need to worry about it. :D Maybe you are agnostic.
 
S

Stash

Member
i have considered that.. I could be I guess.. I just really dont think there is a god.. I just dont really know how to let go of 28 years of "he is watching me..." even as a pagan, I still had to contend with that.
 
S

Stash

Member
It just doesnt make any sense to me that some people never question.. To me, there are two types of people.. there is type a: they never question their beleifs.. a trait i used to find enviable, but have sense gotten over. They never examine what they are told, or why.. they just accept it.
Then you have group b: people who take what they are told and try to examine it. I imagine its much like taking what your elders tell you and examing it from all angles, like one might study a globe. Disconnect from it, and look at it. Thats what I did..And now I know why they tell us not too.. and now I know why its so important to do that. Some people will question and look at it, and it reaffirms what they beleived to begin with. Others, like myself, will probably never go back to what I was taught.
Point is, I cant make myself beleive in something, and I dont understand why people think I can just 'have faith"

Make sense?
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
Stash said:
i have considered that.. I could be I guess.. I just really dont think there is a god.. I just dont really know how to let go of 28 years of "he is watching me..." even as a pagan, I still had to contend with that.
Click to expand...

I only believed in god until I was in 8th grade, when I was 13. I never thought about it, so I just believed what my parents told me. They were never really religious though. I've never attended a church thing where the guy talks.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
It's a pretty big assumption that any deity would be concerned what people think of her.
 
S

Stash

Member
when you are raised to beleive that each person has a personal relationship with god, its hard to make that disconnect. Just like any sort of brainwashing, its not easy to let go of the guilts that we feel, because he knows all and hears all>... we were taught that God would know every single bad thought or behavior.. yes, he would forgive, but he would still know..
 
idea

idea

Question Everything
Stash, I left the relig I was raised with too. God has no grandchildren, only sons and daughters. Your beliefs have to be your own, not your parents. There are a lot of different choices out there - a lot more than Athiest / Baptist... Good luck, and welcome to RF!
 
whereismynotecard

whereismynotecard

Treasure Hunter
It is hard to stop believing in something though. Not to compare god to santa claus, as I know people don't like that, but when I was 6 my sister told me that santa wasn't real, so my parents showed me that they had been the ones leaving christmas presents, and I was so sad. Even though I knew that santa wasn't real, I really wanted to keep believing in him, but I couldn't just make myself, because I knew that he wasn't real.
 
Sunstone

Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Stash said:
when you are raised to beleive that each person has a personal relationship with god, its hard to make that disconnect. Just like any sort of brainwashing, its not easy to let go of the guilts that we feel, because he knows all and hears all>... we were taught that God would know every single bad thought or behavior.. yes, he would forgive, but he would still know..
Click to expand...

I see. I think I can understand where you're coming from. I pretty much grew up non-theist, but I absorbed a lot of the religious culture around me in my home town. So, for instance, I probably in some ways had a more religious view of human nature than a secular view at least until I got to college.
 
idea

idea

Question Everything
whereismynotecard said:
It is hard to stop believing in something though. Not to compare god to santa claus, as I know people don't like that, but when I was 6 my sister told me that santa wasn't real, so my parents showed me that they had been the ones leaving christmas presents, and I was so sad. Even though I knew that santa wasn't real, I really wanted to keep believing in him, but I couldn't just make myself, because I knew that he wasn't real.
Click to expand...

Santa is real - He just is not the same person you thought he was. Your parents are your personal Santa.

The previous fake Santa was a total stranger. You should be happy to discover how loving and nice your parents are. Chaning your perception does not have to be a painful thing. It can be fun and beautiful to discover the truth.
 
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