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Con men on dating sites

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
This is kind of embarrassing but I feel a need to share this. Hopefully, this will provide a little entertainment for my RF friends and viewers, and I don’t mind if you laugh, because it is pretty funny now that I know what has been going on.

About 2 ½ months ago I posted my profile on the Two Doves dating site, which is a Baha’i dating site, and this man who called himself William responded. We messaged on the site and then we started e-mailing back and forth, long e-mails about our childhoods, our adult lives, and our present living situations, where we lived and what we did for a living. He said he was a Baha’i had been one for about five years, and he was widowed about 10 years ago. Since I am a widow, I identified with his story about how he lost his wife. He also talked all about the Baha’i Faith and about God, and he knew the Baha’i Writings, so I had no doubt that he was a Baha’i. He claimed to be a farmer and live in a small town in southern Pennsylvania. He said he had three tractors but only one of them was presently operational because the other two had broken down.

The e-mails went on for quite a while and one day he said that the only tractor that was still working broke down so he could not do any work, and his hired help was not getting paid so he was really worried about them. Then he asked me for a loan to fix his tractor. Mind you, by then he knew that I was quite wealthy so asking me for $8500 would been like a drop in the bucket for me to loan him. I told him flat out “no” and I told him that I would never loan money to a man I met on a dating site, a man I had never even met. Then he said he was ashamed for asking me but he was desperate. Then I did not hear from him for a while, but it was not long after that that he asked me for the money again. By then I should have known something was really wrong. I think I did know on a subconscious level but I decided to keep communicating with him since it could do no harm since I never planned to give him any money.

Early on, in the e-mails and texts he kept sending me love songs and saying how much he loved me. I told him I did not care about love, that I just needed a man to be emotionally supportive and help me with my house and cats. I also did not need any money since I have more money than I will ever need.

I did not hear from him for a week after I turned him down and by then we had switched over from e-mail to texting. He said he just had to talk to me because he missed me and he loved me so much. :rolleyes: He told me he was in Paris, France doing some business transactions with a friend he had loaned money to, and he was trying to get his money back so he could go home to Pennsylvania and get his farm in order. He said that after that he planned to come and visit me, since I had been telling him I will not take him seriously until I actually meet him in person.

Then he said he was taking a train to London to complete his business. When he arrived in London (or so he said) he texted me that he needed money in order to complete his business transactions, and he asked me to send him 10 Razer Gold gift cards, totaling $1000. I misread his text and thought he was asking for one card for $100, so I thought what the heck and purchased one card on Amazon and sent it to his e-mail address. Then he texted me that he wanted $1000, not $100. After that, I called Amazon and told them to cancel my order and luckily it had not been processed so customer service cancelled it immediately. Then he texted me asking where the one card for $100 was. It told him that since he wanted $1000 and not $100, I canceled the order. By then I knew what he was up to so I was just playing around with him to see what he’d do. :D

I finally decided to try to find out if he was who he claimed to be or not, so I called the 1-800 number on the Baha’i website Where are the Bahá’ís in the United States? | Bahá’í Faith : Local that has a map showing where all the Baha’is are in the United States. A Baha’i woman later called me back and said there are no Baha’is in the little town where he said he lived or anywhere near that town, and she could not even find a Baha’i by the name he had given me. I then sent an e-mail to the Baha’i dating site manager about him and the site manager e-mailed me back saying he knows of this man and he has asked other women for money and he has been banned from their site.

Now that I had all this information in hand, I told him that if he was who he claimed to be he would be able to prove it. He asked why he should have to prove it and then I laughed (to myself). I then proceeded to call this man out on his lies, and it has been the most fun I have had in years! There is no way he can wiggle out of his lies and watching him trying to wiggle out is so much fun. He is the greatest con artist of all time, but he did not slip past me because I am not stupid. I have a MA in Psychology and 13 years of experience renting houses to tenants, so I know all the games people try to play. I was just vulnerable since I thought I needed a man, but now I am beginning to wonder if I ever want a man!

About a week ago, I started texting another man called Alan who I met on another dating site. I told him what had happened with William, asking me for money and how I never gave him any. However, he did the same thing as William, acting as if he cared about my welfare, that I was eating and sleeping enough, but his MO was a little different because he portrayed himself to be a millionaire who invests in cryptocurrencies and he made all kinds of promises to me about how our life in retirement would be so great since he has so much money. I told him I have as much money as he does and I do not need his money. Perhaps that was my first mistake, since now he knew, like William knew, that I had a lot of money and other financial assets. Luckily, this so-called relationship only lasted a week. My last contact with him was yesterday when he asked me if I wanted to invest in crypto and I told him I am not sending anyone any money, as William had found out. I believe that is the end of any communication with him, and at least this only lasted a week.

Stay tuned to this TV station, because there is a third man who I met on yet another dating site about two months ago who I have been communicating with off and on. He has never asked me for any money and he has told me that he has a house in Budapest, Hungary, where he is living now since he has a grocery business there. He told me he also has two houses in Washington State where I live, one in Seattle and one in Gig Harbor. He told me that he is retired from the U. S. Marines after 30 years and he started the grocery business in Budapest since he has many relatives there, since he was brought up in Hungary. He told me that he started the grocery business in order to keep busy after his wife died 12 years ago, since he was so lonely. He told me that he is trying to start up another grocery business in Seattle, which is his home base where he has spent most of his life. I plan to continue communicating with him and see where it might lead.

I don’t think that most men on dating sites are con men, but I also don’t know the best way to find out if they are. I do not plan to go through this rigamarole again. It was fun for a while but I can think of much better ways to spend my time.

Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D
 

The Hammer

Skald
Premium Member
Sooo, basically every interaction you've had, has been desperate men love-bombing you for attention and gifts.

What's sad is that they do it because it works.
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
Sooo, basically every interaction you've had, has been desperate men love-bombing you for attention and gifts.

What's sad is that they do it because it works.
No, that is not most of the interactions I have had. I have had many more interactions that I believe were sincere men looking for a woman.

The gifts and love-bombing does not work with me since I need no love or gifts from any man. That is what these men are too stupid to know, even after I tell them.
 

The Hammer

Skald
Premium Member
No, that is not most of the interactions I have had. I have had many more interactions that I believe were sincere men looking for a woman.

The gifts and love-bombing does not work with me since I need no love or gifts from any man. That is what these men are too stupid to know, even after I tell them.

That's good that there are some sincere ones out there. I know dating apps can be a minefield.
 

ChristineM

"Be strong", I whispered to my coffee.
Premium Member
This is kind of embarrassing but I feel a need to share this. Hopefully, this will provide a little entertainment for my RF friends and viewers, and I don’t mind if you laugh, because it is pretty funny now that I know what has been going on.

About 2 ½ months ago I posted my profile on the Two Doves dating site, which is a Baha’i dating site, and this man who called himself William responded. We messaged on the site and then we started e-mailing back and forth, long e-mails about our childhoods, our adult lives, and our present living situations, where we lived and what we did for a living. He said he was a Baha’i had been one for about five years, and he was widowed about 10 years ago. Since I am a widow, I identified with his story about how he lost his wife. He also talked all about the Baha’i Faith and about God, and he knew the Baha’i Writings, so I had no doubt that he was a Baha’i. He claimed to be a farmer and live in a small town in southern Pennsylvania. He said he had three tractors but only one of them was presently operational because the other two had broken down.

The e-mails went on for quite a while and one day he said that the only tractor that was still working broke down so he could not do any work, and his hired help was not getting paid so he was really worried about them. Then he asked me for a loan to fix his tractor. Mind you, by then he knew that I was quite wealthy so asking me for $8500 would been like a drop in the bucket for me to loan him. I told him flat out “no” and I told him that I would never loan money to a man I met on a dating site, a man I had never even met. Then he said he was ashamed for asking me but he was desperate. Then I did not hear from him for a while, but it was not long after that that he asked me for the money again. By then I should have known something was really wrong. I think I did know on a subconscious level but I decided to keep communicating with him since it could do no harm since I never planned to give him any money.

Early on, in the e-mails and texts he kept sending me love songs and saying how much he loved me. I told him I did not care about love, that I just needed a man to be emotionally supportive and help me with my house and cats. I also did not need any money since I have more money than I will ever need.

I did not hear from him for a week after I turned him down and by then we had switched over from e-mail to texting. He said he just had to talk to me because he missed me and he loved me so much. :rolleyes: He told me he was in Paris, France doing some business transactions with a friend he had loaned money to, and he was trying to get his money back so he could go home to Pennsylvania and get his farm in order. He said that after that he planned to come and visit me, since I had been telling him I will not take him seriously until I actually meet him in person.

Then he said he was taking a train to London to complete his business. When he arrived in London (or so he said) he texted me that he needed money in order to complete his business transactions, and he asked me to send him 10 Razer Gold gift cards, totaling $1000. I misread his text and thought he was asking for one card for $100, so I thought what the heck and purchased one card on Amazon and sent it to his e-mail address. Then he texted me that he wanted $1000, not $100. After that, I called Amazon and told them to cancel my order and luckily it had not been processed so customer service cancelled it immediately. Then he texted me asking where the one card for $100 was. It told him that since he wanted $1000 and not $100, I canceled the order. By then I knew what he was up to so I was just playing around with him to see what he’d do. :D

I finally decided to try to find out if he was who he claimed to be or not, so I called the 1-800 number on the Baha’i website Where are the Bahá’ís in the United States? | Bahá’í Faith : Local that has a map showing where all the Baha’is are in the United States. A Baha’i woman later called me back and said there are no Baha’is in the little town where he said he lived or anywhere near that town, and she could not even find a Baha’i by the name he had given me. I then sent an e-mail to the Baha’i dating site manager about him and the site manager e-mailed me back saying he knows of this man and he has asked other women for money and he has been banned from their site.

Now that I had all this information in hand, I told him that if he was who he claimed to be he would be able to prove it. He asked why he should have to prove it and then I laughed (to myself). I then proceeded to call this man out on his lies, and it has been the most fun I have had in years! There is no way he can wiggle out of his lies and watching him trying to wiggle out is so much fun. He is the greatest con artist of all time, but he did not slip past me because I am not stupid. I have a MA in Psychology and 13 years of experience renting houses to tenants, so I know all the games people try to play. I was just vulnerable since I thought I needed a man, but now I am beginning to wonder if I ever want a man!

About a week ago, I started texting another man called Alan who I met on another dating site. I told him what had happened with William, asking me for money and how I never gave him any. However, he did the same thing as William, acting as if he cared about my welfare, that I was eating and sleeping enough, but his MO was a little different because he portrayed himself to be a millionaire who invests in cryptocurrencies and he made all kinds of promises to me about how our life in retirement would be so great since he has so much money. I told him I have as much money as he does and I do not need his money. Perhaps that was my first mistake, since now he knew, like William knew, that I had a lot of money and other financial assets. Luckily, this so-called relationship only lasted a week. My last contact with him was yesterday when he asked me if I wanted to invest in crypto and I told him I am not sending anyone any money, as William had found out. I believe that is the end of any communication with him, and at least this only lasted a week.

Stay tuned to this TV station, because there is a third man who I met on yet another dating site about two months ago who I have been communicating with off and on. He has never asked me for any money and he has told me that he has a house in Budapest, Hungary, where he is living now since he has a grocery business there. He told me he also has two houses in Washington State where I live, one in Seattle and one in Gig Harbor. He told me that he is retired from the U. S. Marines after 30 years and he started the grocery business in Budapest since he has many relatives there, since he was brought up in Hungary. He told me that he started the grocery business in order to keep busy after his wife died 12 years ago, since he was so lonely. He told me that he is trying to start up another grocery business in Seattle, which is his home base where he has spent most of his life. I plan to continue communicating with him and see where it might lead.

I don’t think that most men on dating sites are con men, but I also don’t know the best way to find out if they are. I do not plan to go through this rigamarole again. It was fun for a while but I can think of much better ways to spend my time.

Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D

Just keep.your wits about you and don't fall for a con.
 

Koldo

Outstanding Member
This is kind of embarrassing but I feel a need to share this. Hopefully, this will provide a little entertainment for my RF friends and viewers, and I don’t mind if you laugh, because it is pretty funny now that I know what has been going on.

About 2 ½ months ago I posted my profile on the Two Doves dating site, which is a Baha’i dating site, and this man who called himself William responded. We messaged on the site and then we started e-mailing back and forth, long e-mails about our childhoods, our adult lives, and our present living situations, where we lived and what we did for a living. He said he was a Baha’i had been one for about five years, and he was widowed about 10 years ago. Since I am a widow, I identified with his story about how he lost his wife. He also talked all about the Baha’i Faith and about God, and he knew the Baha’i Writings, so I had no doubt that he was a Baha’i. He claimed to be a farmer and live in a small town in southern Pennsylvania. He said he had three tractors but only one of them was presently operational because the other two had broken down.

The e-mails went on for quite a while and one day he said that the only tractor that was still working broke down so he could not do any work, and his hired help was not getting paid so he was really worried about them. Then he asked me for a loan to fix his tractor. Mind you, by then he knew that I was quite wealthy so asking me for $8500 would been like a drop in the bucket for me to loan him. I told him flat out “no” and I told him that I would never loan money to a man I met on a dating site, a man I had never even met. Then he said he was ashamed for asking me but he was desperate. Then I did not hear from him for a while, but it was not long after that that he asked me for the money again. By then I should have known something was really wrong. I think I did know on a subconscious level but I decided to keep communicating with him since it could do no harm since I never planned to give him any money.

Early on, in the e-mails and texts he kept sending me love songs and saying how much he loved me. I told him I did not care about love, that I just needed a man to be emotionally supportive and help me with my house and cats. I also did not need any money since I have more money than I will ever need.

I did not hear from him for a week after I turned him down and by then we had switched over from e-mail to texting. He said he just had to talk to me because he missed me and he loved me so much. :rolleyes: He told me he was in Paris, France doing some business transactions with a friend he had loaned money to, and he was trying to get his money back so he could go home to Pennsylvania and get his farm in order. He said that after that he planned to come and visit me, since I had been telling him I will not take him seriously until I actually meet him in person.

Then he said he was taking a train to London to complete his business. When he arrived in London (or so he said) he texted me that he needed money in order to complete his business transactions, and he asked me to send him 10 Razer Gold gift cards, totaling $1000. I misread his text and thought he was asking for one card for $100, so I thought what the heck and purchased one card on Amazon and sent it to his e-mail address. Then he texted me that he wanted $1000, not $100. After that, I called Amazon and told them to cancel my order and luckily it had not been processed so customer service cancelled it immediately. Then he texted me asking where the one card for $100 was. It told him that since he wanted $1000 and not $100, I canceled the order. By then I knew what he was up to so I was just playing around with him to see what he’d do. :D

I finally decided to try to find out if he was who he claimed to be or not, so I called the 1-800 number on the Baha’i website Where are the Bahá’ís in the United States? | Bahá’í Faith : Local that has a map showing where all the Baha’is are in the United States. A Baha’i woman later called me back and said there are no Baha’is in the little town where he said he lived or anywhere near that town, and she could not even find a Baha’i by the name he had given me. I then sent an e-mail to the Baha’i dating site manager about him and the site manager e-mailed me back saying he knows of this man and he has asked other women for money and he has been banned from their site.

Now that I had all this information in hand, I told him that if he was who he claimed to be he would be able to prove it. He asked why he should have to prove it and then I laughed (to myself). I then proceeded to call this man out on his lies, and it has been the most fun I have had in years! There is no way he can wiggle out of his lies and watching him trying to wiggle out is so much fun. He is the greatest con artist of all time, but he did not slip past me because I am not stupid. I have a MA in Psychology and 13 years of experience renting houses to tenants, so I know all the games people try to play. I was just vulnerable since I thought I needed a man, but now I am beginning to wonder if I ever want a man!

About a week ago, I started texting another man called Alan who I met on another dating site. I told him what had happened with William, asking me for money and how I never gave him any. However, he did the same thing as William, acting as if he cared about my welfare, that I was eating and sleeping enough, but his MO was a little different because he portrayed himself to be a millionaire who invests in cryptocurrencies and he made all kinds of promises to me about how our life in retirement would be so great since he has so much money. I told him I have as much money as he does and I do not need his money. Perhaps that was my first mistake, since now he knew, like William knew, that I had a lot of money and other financial assets. Luckily, this so-called relationship only lasted a week. My last contact with him was yesterday when he asked me if I wanted to invest in crypto and I told him I am not sending anyone any money, as William had found out. I believe that is the end of any communication with him, and at least this only lasted a week.

Stay tuned to this TV station, because there is a third man who I met on yet another dating site about two months ago who I have been communicating with off and on. He has never asked me for any money and he has told me that he has a house in Budapest, Hungary, where he is living now since he has a grocery business there. He told me he also has two houses in Washington State where I live, one in Seattle and one in Gig Harbor. He told me that he is retired from the U. S. Marines after 30 years and he started the grocery business in Budapest since he has many relatives there, since he was brought up in Hungary. He told me that he started the grocery business in order to keep busy after his wife died 12 years ago, since he was so lonely. He told me that he is trying to start up another grocery business in Seattle, which is his home base where he has spent most of his life. I plan to continue communicating with him and see where it might lead.

I don’t think that most men on dating sites are con men, but I also don’t know the best way to find out if they are. I do not plan to go through this rigamarole again. It was fun for a while but I can think of much better ways to spend my time.

Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D

ROFL
I am glad you are having a blast. Those guys probably keep telling the same stories until someone falls for it.
You mentioned you talk to them through texting and such, have you ever had a phone call with them?
I am wondering if they happen to live somewhere else...

$8500 is like 7 months worth of minimum wage in the US, right?
But it is a lot more in other countries. Just as a frame of reference, it is like 35 months worth of minimum wage here in Brazil. So I would bet on some of them not even being american.
 
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PureX

Veteran Member
Relationships are difficult no matter how they start. It can be hard to stay both open-minded and wary, and the fact is that most aren't going to work for one reason or another. Keep in mind the same things can happen even when you meet someone in person in your own neighborhood. People are people everywhere you go. But plenty of them are honest, wonderful, and amazing, too.
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
ROFL
I am glad you are having a blast. Those guys probably keep telling the same stories until someone falls for it.
What I am wondering about is how they have time to keep telling the same stories to multiple women, until a woman or women fall for the stories and hands over the money, since they are responding to multiple details that are very specific to my life. :confused:
You mentioned you talk to them through texting and such, have you ever had a phone call with them?
Yes, I did get a couple of phone calls from William, or whoever he really is, but I never got any phone calls from Alan, or whoever he is. I have reported both of them to the dating site managers.
I am wondering if they happen to live somewhere else...
I have no idea where they really live. :rolleyes:
Alan looked Asian in his photo and he said he was from China and had been in the US fro about five years. He really had me going at first since he offered to fly me down to where he said he was living now, around the LA area.
$8500 is like 7 months worth of minimum wage in the US, right?
But it is a lot more in other countries. Just as a frame of reference, it is like 35 months worth of minimum wage here in Brazil. So I would bet on some of them not even being american.
$8500 might be about what you said for the US, but it is pocket change for me, since I have so much money. My first mistake was telling William that, and then Alan conned me into telling him how much money I have, but hopefully I have learned my lesson never to tell anyone again.
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
Relationships are difficult no matter how they start. It can be hard to stay both open-minded and wary, and the fact is that most aren't going to work for one reason or another. Keep in mind the same things can happen even when you meet someone in person in your own neighborhood. People are people everywhere you go. But plenty of them are honest, wonderful, and amazing, too.
The relationship might not work out even if you meet them in person, but when they won't come and meet you in person after conversing with you in writing for a long time that is one way you know they are con men. Of course, there are other reasons why they might not come and meet you in person, if they live very far away, and I think this is the case with the man who lived in Hungary. Time will tell.
 

Koldo

Outstanding Member
What I am wondering about is how they have time to keep telling the same stories to multiple women, until a woman or women fall for the stories and hands over the money, since they are responding to multiple details that are very specific to my life. :confused:

It is probably an investment to them or a game of some kind where they can earn money.

Yes, I did get a couple of phone calls from William, or whoever he really is, but I never got any phone calls from Alan, or whoever he is. I have reported both of them to the dating site managers.

I have no idea where they really live. :rolleyes:
Alan looked Asian in his photo and he said he was from China and had been in the US fro about five years. He really had me going at first since he offered to fly me down to where he said he was living now, around the LA area.

I don't know if you have heard of it before, but here it goes:
Whenever you get the chance to see someone's photo, use this website: Google Images
You can can drag and drop images and search the web for that image. It is like search for text, but on this case it is an image. This way you may be able to figure out the source of that photo if it was randomly chosen in the web by the con man.

$8500 might be about what you said for the US, but it is pocket change for me, since I have so much money. My first mistake was telling William that, and then Alan conned me into telling him how much money I have, but hopefully I have learned my lesson never to tell anyone again.

Be safe!
 

PureX

Veteran Member
The relationship might not work out even if you meet them in person, but when they won't come and meet you in person after conversing with you in writing for a long time that is one way you know they are con men.
I wouldn't assume they are a "con man", necessarily. But I would know at that point that this is a digital relationship. That whomever is on the other side of it is going to stay hidden behind their wall of words. And if that's not what I'm looking for then it's time to move on. There could be all kinds of reasons why someone would want to stay hidden behind the 'wall of words'. I don't need to know or judge. I would just take it at face value and decide from there. And the asking for money thing would indicate to me a very weak character that I would no longer want anything to do with. Any reasons or excuses would be irrelevant. A grown up doesn't do that.
Of course, there are other reasons why they might not come and meet you in person, if they live very far away, and I think this is the case with the man who lived in Hungary. Time will tell.
I wouldn't believe anything they say. But I wouldn't not believe them either, necessarily. I would just take it at face value, and drop it the moment it becomes invasive or annoying. :)

Selfishness on the internet is a good thing. In real life we can be a little more generous with people because we have so much more real information to go on. But on line, it's just words and pictures that can come from anywhere.
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
I don't know if you have heard of it before, but here it goes:
Whenever you get the chance to see someone's photo, use this website: Google Images
You can can drag and drop images and search the web for that image. It is like search for text, but on this case it is an image. This way you may be able to figure out the source of that photo if it was randomly chosen in the web by the con man.
No, I never heard of that before. Thanks, I will keep that in mind. :);)
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
And the asking for money thing would indicate to me a very weak character that I would no longer want anything to do with. Any reasons or excuses would be irrelevant. A grown up doesn't do that.
I knew that the first time that William (or whoever he is) asked for the loan, but by then I had so much time and emotion invested in him so I kept giving him second chances. Admittedly, I so wanted him to be what he had portrayed himself to be so I forgave him asking for the money, and even now I am disappointed that he turned out to be a con man. I just have to keep in mind that most men on dating sites are nice men, honest men looking for a woman, and I just happened to get some really bad apples.
 

Koldo

Outstanding Member
No, I never heard of that before. Thanks, I will keep that in mind. :);)

Actually, I just checked. You can just use regular google and drag and drop the image. It works the same.
There were used to be a specific google site for that, if I remember correctly, but not anymore.
 

exchemist

Veteran Member
This is kind of embarrassing but I feel a need to share this. Hopefully, this will provide a little entertainment for my RF friends and viewers, and I don’t mind if you laugh, because it is pretty funny now that I know what has been going on.

About 2 ½ months ago I posted my profile on the Two Doves dating site, which is a Baha’i dating site, and this man who called himself William responded. We messaged on the site and then we started e-mailing back and forth, long e-mails about our childhoods, our adult lives, and our present living situations, where we lived and what we did for a living. He said he was a Baha’i had been one for about five years, and he was widowed about 10 years ago. Since I am a widow, I identified with his story about how he lost his wife. He also talked all about the Baha’i Faith and about God, and he knew the Baha’i Writings, so I had no doubt that he was a Baha’i. He claimed to be a farmer and live in a small town in southern Pennsylvania. He said he had three tractors but only one of them was presently operational because the other two had broken down.

The e-mails went on for quite a while and one day he said that the only tractor that was still working broke down so he could not do any work, and his hired help was not getting paid so he was really worried about them. Then he asked me for a loan to fix his tractor. Mind you, by then he knew that I was quite wealthy so asking me for $8500 would been like a drop in the bucket for me to loan him. I told him flat out “no” and I told him that I would never loan money to a man I met on a dating site, a man I had never even met. Then he said he was ashamed for asking me but he was desperate. Then I did not hear from him for a while, but it was not long after that that he asked me for the money again. By then I should have known something was really wrong. I think I did know on a subconscious level but I decided to keep communicating with him since it could do no harm since I never planned to give him any money.

Early on, in the e-mails and texts he kept sending me love songs and saying how much he loved me. I told him I did not care about love, that I just needed a man to be emotionally supportive and help me with my house and cats. I also did not need any money since I have more money than I will ever need.

I did not hear from him for a week after I turned him down and by then we had switched over from e-mail to texting. He said he just had to talk to me because he missed me and he loved me so much. :rolleyes: He told me he was in Paris, France doing some business transactions with a friend he had loaned money to, and he was trying to get his money back so he could go home to Pennsylvania and get his farm in order. He said that after that he planned to come and visit me, since I had been telling him I will not take him seriously until I actually meet him in person.

Then he said he was taking a train to London to complete his business. When he arrived in London (or so he said) he texted me that he needed money in order to complete his business transactions, and he asked me to send him 10 Razer Gold gift cards, totaling $1000. I misread his text and thought he was asking for one card for $100, so I thought what the heck and purchased one card on Amazon and sent it to his e-mail address. Then he texted me that he wanted $1000, not $100. After that, I called Amazon and told them to cancel my order and luckily it had not been processed so customer service cancelled it immediately. Then he texted me asking where the one card for $100 was. It told him that since he wanted $1000 and not $100, I canceled the order. By then I knew what he was up to so I was just playing around with him to see what he’d do. :D

I finally decided to try to find out if he was who he claimed to be or not, so I called the 1-800 number on the Baha’i website Where are the Bahá’ís in the United States? | Bahá’í Faith : Local that has a map showing where all the Baha’is are in the United States. A Baha’i woman later called me back and said there are no Baha’is in the little town where he said he lived or anywhere near that town, and she could not even find a Baha’i by the name he had given me. I then sent an e-mail to the Baha’i dating site manager about him and the site manager e-mailed me back saying he knows of this man and he has asked other women for money and he has been banned from their site.

Now that I had all this information in hand, I told him that if he was who he claimed to be he would be able to prove it. He asked why he should have to prove it and then I laughed (to myself). I then proceeded to call this man out on his lies, and it has been the most fun I have had in years! There is no way he can wiggle out of his lies and watching him trying to wiggle out is so much fun. He is the greatest con artist of all time, but he did not slip past me because I am not stupid. I have a MA in Psychology and 13 years of experience renting houses to tenants, so I know all the games people try to play. I was just vulnerable since I thought I needed a man, but now I am beginning to wonder if I ever want a man!

About a week ago, I started texting another man called Alan who I met on another dating site. I told him what had happened with William, asking me for money and how I never gave him any. However, he did the same thing as William, acting as if he cared about my welfare, that I was eating and sleeping enough, but his MO was a little different because he portrayed himself to be a millionaire who invests in cryptocurrencies and he made all kinds of promises to me about how our life in retirement would be so great since he has so much money. I told him I have as much money as he does and I do not need his money. Perhaps that was my first mistake, since now he knew, like William knew, that I had a lot of money and other financial assets. Luckily, this so-called relationship only lasted a week. My last contact with him was yesterday when he asked me if I wanted to invest in crypto and I told him I am not sending anyone any money, as William had found out. I believe that is the end of any communication with him, and at least this only lasted a week.

Stay tuned to this TV station, because there is a third man who I met on yet another dating site about two months ago who I have been communicating with off and on. He has never asked me for any money and he has told me that he has a house in Budapest, Hungary, where he is living now since he has a grocery business there. He told me he also has two houses in Washington State where I live, one in Seattle and one in Gig Harbor. He told me that he is retired from the U. S. Marines after 30 years and he started the grocery business in Budapest since he has many relatives there, since he was brought up in Hungary. He told me that he started the grocery business in order to keep busy after his wife died 12 years ago, since he was so lonely. He told me that he is trying to start up another grocery business in Seattle, which is his home base where he has spent most of his life. I plan to continue communicating with him and see where it might lead.

I don’t think that most men on dating sites are con men, but I also don’t know the best way to find out if they are. I do not plan to go through this rigamarole again. It was fun for a while but I can think of much better ways to spend my time.

Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D
You should let the police know about this and get these ****s banged up. It's so despicable that these people try to profit from somebody's need for love or companionship.

But great that your antennae were functional and you did not fall for any of them.

I have to say (as a widower for the last 6 years, now 68 years old, so quite similar to you perhaps) I don't feel especially tempted to find a new partner. I cultivate a number of female friends who provide some company, put up with my meanderings and go walking with me occasionally. I think that's enough, now.

I once tried a dating site when I was in my 30s, but I found it very hit and miss - mostly miss - and decided it was artificial and that I was better off just making friends in the normal way and seeing who turned up. The office and the rowing club duly provided several girlfriends, one of whom became my wife. That would have been in the 90s. I know things have moved on since then, but evidently the dating scene is still a minefield - probably worse for older people as they are often richer AND more lonely and thus a more tempting target for scammers.
 
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Yerda

Veteran Member
Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D
Have you seen The Tinder Swindler?
 

Trailblazer

Veteran Member
Have you seen The Tinder Swindler?
No, I have not seen that movie, but it looks interesting. Unfortunately, I do not have Netflix.
Needless to say, no man is getting anywhere near my money, but it has been fun watching them try. :D

I am not at all desperate so these con men had me pegged all wrong. :rolleyes: I do not need a man for money and I do not need a man for love, because I have eight cats for love. I also don't need a man for sex because I have no interest in sex. The only thing I would need a man for is emotional support and to have someone to do things with, like traveling or watching TV, going to the movies or eating out. It would also be nice to have a man who could do handyman work, but I can hire those out if need be.
 
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Trailblazer

Veteran Member
You should let the police know about this and get these ****s banged up. It's so despicable that these people try to profit from somebody's need for love or companionship.
Yes, it is despicable and I wish I could do something to them, you don't know how much I wish that.
I have called the police and an attorney, but unfortunately they cannot do anything unless I actually gave money to these men.
But great that your antennae were functional and you did not fall for any of them.
My antenna was functional but I did not actually put it up in the sky for a while and by then William or whoever he is had sucked me in with his lies.
I have to say (as a widower for the last 6 years, now 68 years old, so quite similar to you perhaps) I don't feel especially tempted to find a new partner. I cultivate a number of female friends who provide some company, put up with my meanderings and go walking with me occasionally. I think that's enough, now.
That's nice that you have friends for company. When I was married my husband was my only company and my best friend, although I have some friends online.

I do not want to remarry unless it is the right man, a man I could envision living with day to day.
I will know that I have found him if and when I meet him as I knew the first time. If not, no big deal.
I once tried a dating site when I was in my 30s, but I found it very hit and miss - mostly miss - and decided it was artificial and that I was better off just making friends in the normal way and seeing who turned up. The office and the rowing club duly provided several girlfriends, one of whom became my wife. That would have been in the 90s. I know things have moved on since then, but evidently the dating scene is still a minefield - probably worse for older people as they are often richer AND more lonely and thus a more tempting target for scammers.
I never knew anything about the dating scene since I never dated so I thought I would stick my feet in the water, but unfortunately, I almost drowned. :eek: However, I have learned a good lesson and it did not take me that long. :D

Yes, it is probably worse for older people since they sometimes have more money and assets.
These scammers target widows more than divorcees. If the widow has money but is looking for love she is a prime target, but I was the wrong target since I have money but I am not looking for love.
 

InvestigateTruth

Veteran Member
This is kind of embarrassing but I feel a need to share this. Hopefully, this will provide a little entertainment for my RF friends and viewers, and I don’t mind if you laugh, because it is pretty funny now that I know what has been going on.

About 2 ½ months ago I posted my profile on the Two Doves dating site, which is a Baha’i dating site, and this man who called himself William responded. We messaged on the site and then we started e-mailing back and forth, long e-mails about our childhoods, our adult lives, and our present living situations, where we lived and what we did for a living. He said he was a Baha’i had been one for about five years, and he was widowed about 10 years ago. Since I am a widow, I identified with his story about how he lost his wife. He also talked all about the Baha’i Faith and about God, and he knew the Baha’i Writings, so I had no doubt that he was a Baha’i. He claimed to be a farmer and live in a small town in southern Pennsylvania. He said he had three tractors but only one of them was presently operational because the other two had broken down.

The e-mails went on for quite a while and one day he said that the only tractor that was still working broke down so he could not do any work, and his hired help was not getting paid so he was really worried about them. Then he asked me for a loan to fix his tractor. Mind you, by then he knew that I was quite wealthy so asking me for $8500 would been like a drop in the bucket for me to loan him. I told him flat out “no” and I told him that I would never loan money to a man I met on a dating site, a man I had never even met. Then he said he was ashamed for asking me but he was desperate. Then I did not hear from him for a while, but it was not long after that that he asked me for the money again. By then I should have known something was really wrong. I think I did know on a subconscious level but I decided to keep communicating with him since it could do no harm since I never planned to give him any money.

Early on, in the e-mails and texts he kept sending me love songs and saying how much he loved me. I told him I did not care about love, that I just needed a man to be emotionally supportive and help me with my house and cats. I also did not need any money since I have more money than I will ever need.

I did not hear from him for a week after I turned him down and by then we had switched over from e-mail to texting. He said he just had to talk to me because he missed me and he loved me so much. :rolleyes: He told me he was in Paris, France doing some business transactions with a friend he had loaned money to, and he was trying to get his money back so he could go home to Pennsylvania and get his farm in order. He said that after that he planned to come and visit me, since I had been telling him I will not take him seriously until I actually meet him in person.

Then he said he was taking a train to London to complete his business. When he arrived in London (or so he said) he texted me that he needed money in order to complete his business transactions, and he asked me to send him 10 Razer Gold gift cards, totaling $1000. I misread his text and thought he was asking for one card for $100, so I thought what the heck and purchased one card on Amazon and sent it to his e-mail address. Then he texted me that he wanted $1000, not $100. After that, I called Amazon and told them to cancel my order and luckily it had not been processed so customer service cancelled it immediately. Then he texted me asking where the one card for $100 was. It told him that since he wanted $1000 and not $100, I canceled the order. By then I knew what he was up to so I was just playing around with him to see what he’d do. :D

I finally decided to try to find out if he was who he claimed to be or not, so I called the 1-800 number on the Baha’i website Where are the Bahá’ís in the United States? | Bahá’í Faith : Local that has a map showing where all the Baha’is are in the United States. A Baha’i woman later called me back and said there are no Baha’is in the little town where he said he lived or anywhere near that town, and she could not even find a Baha’i by the name he had given me. I then sent an e-mail to the Baha’i dating site manager about him and the site manager e-mailed me back saying he knows of this man and he has asked other women for money and he has been banned from their site.

Now that I had all this information in hand, I told him that if he was who he claimed to be he would be able to prove it. He asked why he should have to prove it and then I laughed (to myself). I then proceeded to call this man out on his lies, and it has been the most fun I have had in years! There is no way he can wiggle out of his lies and watching him trying to wiggle out is so much fun. He is the greatest con artist of all time, but he did not slip past me because I am not stupid. I have a MA in Psychology and 13 years of experience renting houses to tenants, so I know all the games people try to play. I was just vulnerable since I thought I needed a man, but now I am beginning to wonder if I ever want a man!

About a week ago, I started texting another man called Alan who I met on another dating site. I told him what had happened with William, asking me for money and how I never gave him any. However, he did the same thing as William, acting as if he cared about my welfare, that I was eating and sleeping enough, but his MO was a little different because he portrayed himself to be a millionaire who invests in cryptocurrencies and he made all kinds of promises to me about how our life in retirement would be so great since he has so much money. I told him I have as much money as he does and I do not need his money. Perhaps that was my first mistake, since now he knew, like William knew, that I had a lot of money and other financial assets. Luckily, this so-called relationship only lasted a week. My last contact with him was yesterday when he asked me if I wanted to invest in crypto and I told him I am not sending anyone any money, as William had found out. I believe that is the end of any communication with him, and at least this only lasted a week.

Stay tuned to this TV station, because there is a third man who I met on yet another dating site about two months ago who I have been communicating with off and on. He has never asked me for any money and he has told me that he has a house in Budapest, Hungary, where he is living now since he has a grocery business there. He told me he also has two houses in Washington State where I live, one in Seattle and one in Gig Harbor. He told me that he is retired from the U. S. Marines after 30 years and he started the grocery business in Budapest since he has many relatives there, since he was brought up in Hungary. He told me that he started the grocery business in order to keep busy after his wife died 12 years ago, since he was so lonely. He told me that he is trying to start up another grocery business in Seattle, which is his home base where he has spent most of his life. I plan to continue communicating with him and see where it might lead.

I don’t think that most men on dating sites are con men, but I also don’t know the best way to find out if they are. I do not plan to go through this rigamarole again. It was fun for a while but I can think of much better ways to spend my time.

Now when I look back at what happened with William and Alan, or whoever they really are, I can laugh, and in fact I have not laughed so hard in years! These men are really stupid if they think they are getting any money from me, and they are the losers because they wasted so much time prepping me for nothing. I also wasted my time but at least I got some entertainment out of it. I feel kind of foolish for being taken in by them but the joke is on them, not me, since I am the one having the last laugh. :D:D:D
I don't know why for your first one, William, you did not talk to him on the phone from beginning. I could understand 1-2 emails, but after that why not talking on the phone, or video call? Probably it is easier and faster to know who he is. I think it is safer if the person has a common friend.
 

exchemist

Veteran Member
Yes, it is despicable and I wish I could do something to them, you don't know how much I wish that.
I have called the police and an attorney, but unfortunately they cannot do anything unless I actually gave money to these men.

My antenna was functional but I did not actually put it up in the sky for a while and by then William or whoever he is had sucked me in with his lies.

That's nice that you have friends for company. When I was married my husband was my only company and my best friend, although I have some friends online.

I do not want to remarry unless it is the right man, a man I could envision living with day to day.
I will know that I have found him if and when I meet him as I knew the first time. If not, no big deal.

I never knew anything about the dating scene since I never dated so I thought I would stick my feet in the water, but unfortunately, I almost drowned. :eek: However, I have learned a good lesson and it did not take me that long. :D

Yes, it is probably worse for older people since they sometimes have more money and assets.
These scammers target widows more than divorcees. If the widow has money but is looking for love she is a prime target, but I was the wrong target since I have money but I am not looking for love.
That may be what saved you! Love, or the need for it can distort one's judgement.

Maybe I have more or less the kind of company you are after in the form of these friends of mine. One is from teenage years, delightfully rediscovered recently after an interval of 40 years (at a funeral, actually!), one is from the rowing club back in the 80s, and the third is a fellow choral singer, 20 year my junior but widowed with a teenage girl - she's the one I walk with every Friday. The rowing club one was a friend of us both in the days when my wife was alive but the other two have come on the scene after she died.

So what can I recommend, but sport, singing........ and going to lots of funerals?! :D
 
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