I'm trying to understand the validity of converting to your fiance's religion before marrying if you and him/her are of different faiths. This has happened in my family (not to me, I'm not married). Being of a certain faith means that you believe in the tenants of that faith, right? So how can a person convert to the faith of their fiance unless they truly believe in that faith? They don't stop believing in their faith and start believing in another faith just because they want to get married. An example of this would be a Jewish person converting to a Christian denomination in order to marry someone they love who is a Christian. Jews don't believe Jesus is the messiah or the son of God and many other mainstays of Christianity, so they are not going to all of a sudden believe these things when they want to marry a Christian. So isn't it hypocritical and wrong for a minister, rabbi or whoever to "convert" these people unless they truly "believe"?
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Converting to another religion when marrying
- Thread starter meee223
- Start date
Scott1
Well-Known Member
I would say so... but I really doubt that people walk in and say "I don't believe this crap but my wife does..... sign me up!".... the official can only assume that the person looking to convert is doing so for the right reasons. My Church actually asks questions to potential converts and subjects them to a rather long (as a rule) "initiation" program.
Booko
Deviled Hen
Yes, and your Church also asks a lot of questions during a rather long process to any couple that wishes to get married, which I found a very fruitful experience. Divorce is very much discouraged in your Church, but you do your best up front to avoid people marrying for the wrong reasons. I respect that greatly.
Scott1
Well-Known Member
So you did not experience what mee223 described---- you didn't find it to be "hypocritical and wrong" in this particular case? Did they actually ask if you (or whoever) actually "believed"?
Booko
Deviled Hen
Good Heavens! They already knew I was a Baha'i and my husband Catholic.
Oh sure, there are rules under canon law for situations like that. We had to apply for a dispensation with the local Archbishop. Apparently the fact I had been properly baptized with a formula acceptable to the Church was a help. And there was no difficulty in me promising to teach Christianity to our children. I would consider them culturally ignorant if we didn't do that. If we had had any problems with RCC procedures we could always have opted to have a civil marriage. But we wanted a Catholic marriage for the sake of both our families.
I think it's quite wise of them to go into all that. I mean, if someone of one religion is marrying someone from another and one of the potential spouses has the attitude "no way are we teaching any kids the other spouses religion!" should that be handled up front? It's going to be quite a sacrifice, and frankly a huge danger to the success of that marriage, to have one parent's religion treated that way in family matters.
In the few cases like that I've ever had any counsel on (for sometimes our local Baha'i institutions do similar meetings with couples who wish to marry) I have always recommended the marriage not go forward unless there is nearly no chance of children (like if they are elderly).
It works best to walk the spiritual path with practical feet.
Father Heathen
Veteran Member
I cannot see how a relation could work where one demands the other change a core part of who they are. And how do they decide which one is going to convert to the others faith? Coin toss?
Scott1
Well-Known Member
Outstanding post! Thanks for the info and for sharing a personal testimony.It works best to walk the spiritual path with practical feet.
I learned something new about the RCC today! :clap