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Corruption/Manipulation in the Missionary Program

So, for those of you who have way more experience with the Church than I, what are your more skeptical thoughts regarding the missions?

I've read so much stuff by ex-Mormons describing the way the missions are run that it rather sickens me. Heck, there was an ex-missionary I knew who left the church after he got posted to Mexico. Abusive conditions, cult-like control over the missionaries (can't listen to music that isn't on some hokey list, even if it's Christian music).

Then there's the stuff like baseball baptisms, milk before meat, love bombing, flirting to convert. Abominable conduct.
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
Ex-mormon forums are going to give you a very biased view of things (as they are inhabited by bitter ex's). But we could talk about more realistic view of things if you want. Anything in particular you wanted to discuss / any particular concerns? (I few weird just rambling off random things....)
 
Ex-mormon forums are going to give you a very biased view of things (as they are inhabited by bitter ex's). But we could talk about more realistic view of things if you want. Anything in particular you wanted to discuss / any particular concerns? (I few weird just rambling off random things....)

I don't think there is. I was just kind of overcome with rumination, happens all the time to me. I'll start obsessively thinking about something I feel negative towards, then I start doing "research," and the research and thinking just keep playing off each other. I have a meeting scheduled with the elder missionaries tomorrow and was antsy about a Facebook convo with the sister missionary who converted me, so my brain decided to torment me with Mormonism tonight instead of Pentecostalism or my ex-girlfriend or whatever else.
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
Breaking this up into pieces to be somewhat comprehensible. If you want me to talk more about any particular piece, feel free to ask.

Very true. I once went on one of their forums to try and get a better understanding of the Church, but they ended up accusing me of being a troll/morally corrupt (?).
That's funny.
I have a broader concern that the modern Church might be particularly corrupt, but since I never made it far beyond the investigator stage, the main thing that interests me is the missionary program.
Ok, we can talk about that.
One thing is the idea that the missionaries are kind of just laying sales pitch on you. I've heard of how most of the lessons they teach and techniques they use are taught to them. What individual personality the missionaries get to show seems to be a bit stifled under all the rules, and they generally come across (this is my personal experience, too, not just the ex-Mormons) as just reciting the script and talking in circles.
Nope, it's not a memorized sales pitch at all. The missionaries also gain nothing based on anyone's conversion. Everything is just about you. Now, that being said, when you teach the Plan of Salvation lesson to 10 different people a week, it's natural to fall into a routine way of explaining things based on what experience says works well. Now, if that avenue of explanation doesn't work well with "Bob", a good missionary will explain a things in a different angle that works for Bob. A missionary that is not so great on teaching will struggle with changing angles and tend to stay in their more routine explanation even though it's not working. That's just an artifact of missionaries being human of various levels of teaching skill.
It wasn't something I really noticed until my missionaries left and were replaced. Of course, the male missionaries generally seem much more down-to-earth and willing to engage on serious questions, so it could also be a gender thing.
I'm guessing that's more that second missionary-pair's personality compared to the first pair. Yes, missionary pairs do develop different personalities because they are different people.
The missionaries also seem to be a bit oppressed in their work. The way their media is regulated strikes me as excessive; as I mentioned, they can't listen to gospel songs unless they come from a Church list of approved music. I would have liked to share my Elvis Presley gospel with the sisters, but I couldn't. Okay, not a big deal, but it's sort of the spirit behind that cultishness that I find worrisome.
Re missionary rules in general: yes, mission rules are strict. This is known well before a person goes signs up for a mission. Each of the rules have a history behind them and why they were put in. Part of them were put in to avoid spiritual distractions (like bad media). Part of them are logistical/legal/risk-management reasons (like avoiding certain risky situations). Part of it them are to avoid the appearance/opportunity for evil (like don't be alone with the opposite sex). And frankly some of them are just put in because Elder So-and-so did this really stupid thing 10 years back so now we have this seemingly idiotic rule to prevent a repeat episode. Think about it: how many stupid stunts can 150 18-20 year olds get into? Now multiply that by ~400 missions, and completely new people every ~2 years...

As to the music: those rules vary per area. Some areas the mission president gets tired of dealing with "but what about this song or this song" questions (some of which are dumb questions, some are people trying to push boundaries) and just puts a strict approved list on the rule books to be done with the matter. That seems to be the case in your area.
Then, there are tons of horror stories of elder missionaries being made to live on very, very tight budgets, being denied medical care, or, worst of all, being sent into dangerous hellholes with little preparation. I was particularly bothered by the ex-missionary I met, who, if I remember correctly, had a guy get shot on his mission to Mexico. To me, it's unconscionable that they pressure naive young men into doing missions, then just recklessly send them off to places like that.
Many of the rules are actually to prevent situations like that. Obviously it's not perfect, and the Church is always working on improving things- just this last week they sent out a massive survey to missionaries in regards to safety and how to make it better. If there is a reason to fear danger, missionaries are withdrawn (obvious example was everyone was pulled from Ebola areas when that broke out). Overall, a missionary is something like 80% less likely to incur a serious injury than non-missionaries of the same age bracket (if you want I can pull up the actual numbers).
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
The missionaries don't even seem to do anything "useful." Protestant missions, such as I've heard about them, tend to be a few weeks long and are more laid-back affairs, but they'll do a bunch of charity work while they're over there. They kind of just get to know the locals, help them, and use the help and socializing as an opportunity to offer religious instruction.
LDS missionaries do like 20 hrs of required community service a week, plus teaching language lessons, plus other generic helping out... There's plenty of service work involved.
I may be mistaken, but I've never heard anybody talk about a focus on helping people, just on getting numbers up.
That's you biased source for you.
Which leads to the final point, the numbers push seems to have lead to poor preparation of members and some underhanded techniques. It's exciting as an investigator to be swept up in that push towards baptism, then a calling, then a temple recommend, but you're not "vetted" very well. So many people go through these steps without knowing even basic church history.
Can this happen? Yes. Should this happen? NO!!! That's a constant focus on getting people to really actually read scripture, to really actually attend church, and to really seriously investigate things. Do investigators get lazy and to want to read? Very frequently. Do missionaries sometimes get excited and rush things? Sometimes yes. We as a Church try our best to encourage thorough growth, but sometimes people are just impatient or lazy or whatever. We try, and that's all we can do.
Then, you have stuff like love bombing*, where people (missionaries or ward members) lavish the investigator with affection, but it's fake, just a way to hang on to them.
Not fake: we do generally honestly care for people. (Or at least when we're on our game and doing what we should be doing).
Similarly, flirty behavior (when it's for the same purpose).
Don't missionary flirt. Just don't.
So much of this stuff comes down to the mistakes of individuals, but some of it does apparently get taught by the Church.
That's your biased source talking.
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
I don't think there is. I was just kind of overcome with rumination, happens all the time to me. I'll start obsessively thinking about something I feel negative towards, then I start doing "research," and the research and thinking just keep playing off each other. I have a meeting scheduled with the elder missionaries tomorrow and was antsy about a Facebook convo with the sister missionary who converted me, so my brain decided to torment me with Mormonism tonight instead of Pentecostalism or my ex-girlfriend or whatever else.
If you don't mind me saying, that doesn't sound very healthy...
Granted, my brain can work the same way, so my own history lessons could just be speaking out here.
 
That's funny.

They seemed to think I was a troll or something because I was still identifying as a Mormon, worshipping in the Mormon manner, and so on. And one guy accused me of just trying to get with Mormon girls and sympathizing with Joseph Smith because of his (purported) sexual misconduct.

Nope, it's not a memorized sales pitch at all. The missionaries also gain nothing based on anyone's conversion. Everything is just about you. Now, that being said, when you teach the Plan of Salvation lesson to 10 different people a week, it's natural to fall into a routine way of explaining things based on what experience says works well. Now, if that avenue of explanation doesn't work well with "Bob", a good missionary will explain a things in a different angle that works for Bob. A missionary that is not so great on teaching will struggle with changing angles and tend to stay in their more routine explanation even though it's not working. That's just an artifact of missionaries being human of various levels of teaching skill.

That's a fair point, and one that I hadn't considered much. I do think the second pair of sisters I had were very much like the first ones, but I might have been too cynical about it.

I'm guessing that's more that second missionary-pair's personality compared to the first pair. Yes, missionary pairs do develop different personalities because they are different people.

Well, no duh. It just seemed like all the girls are kind of the same in terms of their lessons. As far as they go as individuals, I could see a lot of difference. Some I liked more than others. :p

Re missionary rules in general: yes, mission rules are strict. This is known well before a person goes signs up for a mission. Each of the rules have a history behind them and why they were put in. Part of them were put in to avoid spiritual distractions (like bad media). Part of them are logistical/legal/risk-management reasons (like avoiding certain risky situations). Part of it them are to avoid the appearance/opportunity for evil (like don't be alone with the opposite sex). And frankly some of them are just put in because Elder So-and-so did this really stupid thing 10 years back so now we have this seemingly idiotic rule to prevent a repeat episode. Think about it: how many stupid stunts can 150 18-20 year olds get into? Now multiply that by ~400 missions, and completely new people every ~2 years...

I don't disagree with most of the rules, it's only a few that seem arbitrary and controlling. I appreciate the idea, for example, behind making missionaries bring a chaperone with them or stay outside when they meet investigators of the opposite sex.

As to the music: those rules vary per area. Some areas the mission president gets tired of dealing with "but what about this song or this song" questions (some of which are dumb questions, some are people trying to push boundaries) and just puts a strict approved list on the rule books to be done with the matter. That seems to be the case in your area.

See, that makes a lot more sense now.

Many of the rules are actually to prevent situations like that. Obviously it's not perfect, and the Church is always working on improving things- just this last week they sent out a massive survey to missionaries in regards to safety and how to make it better. If there is a reason to fear danger, missionaries are withdrawn (obvious example was everyone was pulled from Ebola areas when that broke out). Overall, a missionary is something like 80% less likely to incur a serious injury than non-missionaries of the same age bracket (if you want I can pull up the actual numbers).

Oh, I don't doubt that missionaries are safer on the whole. It's just particular horror stories from particular places. And sometimes it's not clear if the horror stories are true or not. It does seem like the sister missionaries are sheltered a bit more than the elder missionaries, which is appropriate.

LDS missionaries do like 20 hrs of required community service a week, plus teaching language lessons, plus other generic helping out... There's plenty of service work involved.

I'd never heard of that before. Kind of just assumed they didn't do it since nobody mentioned them doing it. If by helping out you mean helping the ward, then yeah, I know they do that.

That's you biased source for you.

Quite possibly. Plus, I never really got to hear any stories from returned missionaries who liked them.

Can this happen? Yes. Should this happen? NO!!! That's a constant focus on getting people to really actually read scripture, to really actually attend church, and to really seriously investigate things. Do investigators get lazy and to want to read? Very frequently. Do missionaries sometimes get excited and rush things? Sometimes yes. We as a Church try our best to encourage thorough growth, but sometimes people are just impatient or lazy or whatever. We try, and that's all we can do.

Yeah, they do good about having you read, but I think the church is maybe a bit too permissive? I went to this other church where you couldn't volunteer there until you were a member and you needed to pass a fourteen week Sunday school class to become a member (though they weren't unreasonable, they'd let you miss a few and would work with you on a schedule). Now, I felt that they were maybe a bit too strict*, but they did make you kind of work for it, give you time to think it through.

*They were just a little bit culty and had a pastor who seemed to want to run off the chaff instead of expanding his flock.

Not fake: we do generally honestly care for people. (Or at least when we're on our game and doing what we should be doing).

I can't really comment on this, since I didn't see any love bombing myself. The YSA were cliquey, the adults came across as very nice and honest. The missionaries seemed rather honest too.

Don't missionary flirt. Just don't.

I don't! Okay, to be honest, I would have if I didn't know it would turn out bad. But there were a few times when the one sister would give me these flirty looks. Don't know what her intentions were there, probably just me misinterpreting.

That's your biased source talking.

Anecdotes. Like "back in 19XX, Bishop So-and-So told me..." Or, "this manual from 30 years ago said..."

If you don't mind me saying, that doesn't sound very healthy...
Granted, my brain can work the same way, so my own history lessons could just be speaking out here.

It isn't healthy in the slightest. It's been getting better with time, though, and I can usually catch myself doing it now. Biggest trigger is having too much unstructured time (like, say, taking Summer courses but having not found a Summer job and your friends all being out of town).
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
Cool, you seem to be getting a much better handle on things now with a more rounded out view. And many of your comments here just made me chuckle.

Is there anything particular you'd like me to talk about more?
 
Cool, you seem to be getting a much better handle on things now with a more rounded out view. And many of your comments here just made me chuckle.

Is there anything particular you'd like me to talk about more?

No, I don't think so.

Though, when it comes to the missionary flirting... there were two times when I felt pretty tempted. It's easy to get attached to the girls when you don't have any female friends and they act so sweet and dress properly. I was drawn to the Church due to its doctrine and history, but I doubt I would have spent so much time meeting with missionaries if I'd been paired with the guys. :p
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
No, I don't think so.

Though, when it comes to the missionary flirting... there were two times when I felt pretty tempted. It's easy to get attached to the girls when you don't have any female friends and they act so sweet and dress properly. I was drawn to the Church due to its doctrine and history, but I doubt I would have spent so much time meeting with missionaries if I'd been paired with the guys. :p
LOL! Honestly, that's part of the reason missionaries are transferred so regularly: to keep people focused on converting to the Gospel and not the missionary you happen to like.
 
LOL! Honestly, that's part of the reason missionaries are transferred so regularly: to keep people focused on converting to the Gospel and not the missionary you happen to like.

Makes sense. I was lucky to have one missionary stay for, like, three "deployments" (or whatever it's called). Didn't bond as much as a lot do... my ex was good friends with her missionary and ended up marrying him when he came back. But eh. Could've gone myself into some trouble if I were bolder, giving them a peck on the forehead/hand. I'd imagine I would have been hearing from the bishop... It's a shame the local ward out here, in Tennessee, is so dead. I'd see a glimmer of the Utah culture from the missionaries, but the locals were mostly just a handful of converts, whizzing in and out of a college town, with no real sense of community. It's a little sad to have the Church be present but be such a weak point in the community, especially in contrast to the campus ministries (all Protestants).
 

Jane.Doe

Active Member
Makes sense. I was lucky to have one missionary stay for, like, three "deployments" (or whatever it's called). Didn't bond as much as a lot do... my ex was good friends with her missionary and ended up marrying him when he came back. But eh. Could've gone myself into some trouble if I were bolder, giving them a peck on the forehead/hand. I'd imagine I would have been hearing from the bishop... It's a shame the local ward out here, in Tennessee, is so dead. I'd see a glimmer of the Utah culture from the missionaries, but the locals were mostly just a handful of converts, whizzing in and out of a college town, with no real sense of community. It's a little sad to have the Church be present but be such a weak point in the community, especially in contrast to the campus ministries (all Protestants).
Tennessee is the heart of Protestant territory, so of course that's going to be strong community, even if only 5% of the local Protestant population is participating. Protestant churches also dump a ton of resources into campus ministries, including a full-time staff that lives there for a long time. It's very different than LDS wards that are high turnover and pretty much run off of part-time college age volunteers.
 

Truth_Faith13

Well-Known Member
Just wanted to say that the missionaries I have met with over the past 8 months (or so) do service. One pair of sisters helped paint my house and one pair have helped dust/hoover/tidy etc and one pair did some shopping when I wasn't very well once. They are always offering to help. (I'm an ex mormon by the way)
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
As a former missionary and a now non-practicing Mormon, let me say I've read many of the "anti" sites and while they get a lot right, they get a lot wrong too. The conditions and experiences of Mormon missionaries described in those sites are grossly exaggerated if not blatantly untrue.
 
As a former missionary and a now non-practicing Mormon, let me say I've read many of the "anti" sites and while they get a lot right, they get a lot wrong too. The conditions and experiences of Mormon missionaries described in those sites are grossly exaggerated if not blatantly untrue.

How did you come to be a jack-Mormon?
 

Watchmen

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
There's two definitions I know, either an admirer of Mormonism (I probably fit into this category better than anything else) or a cultural Mormon. I think to be a "cultural" anything you'd either have to be an active participant in the religion or be raised in the faith.
I'd say I'm neither.
 
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