I use to be what I thought was a Christian, then I became an atheist. Long story. However, I have been doing some deep thinking lately about God, and have an interest into becoming perhaps a real mature Christian for the first time.
(Now what I am about to ramble about did not just happen overnight. It was a long process, and this rant will be long.)
The thing is, I was a believer of what Dinesh D'Souza calls "crayon Christianity". I believed in God because I was taught to believe, I was in it for the trip to Heaven, I highly underestimated the powers of Satan, and because I assumed you got whatever you wanted and because I never got what I wanted, and because I suffered, I stopped believing. It started as a hate for God, but then soon lead to no belief at all.
On the other end - I think there are literally millions of people who are the same way in a sense, who assume their good gifts come from God, but I don't think God has a plan for everyone, I don't think God knows everything, I think God is capable of punishing as well as rewarding human beings, and I don't think for the most part God interferes much in life, and I don't think there is any set plan. I think that this life here on earth DOES matter, nor do I think overpraying is a good thing and going to church is not always a good thing, especially if it is filled with false converts. I think that above is all apart of "crayon Christianity", and I think life just happens, and it's up to the human race to decide how we all live. To me, all the rules in the bible are there for a reason, and I get them, and living that lifestyle can lead to a happy life. And to me, that is being a Christian. And you follow the Lord not so you can go to Heaven or to get whatever you want, but because following His rules can be Heaven within itself.
Most of the Christians I have been around are not Christians and would be offended that I say they are not, but according to the bible, they are not. They lie, they steal, they get into fist fights, they drink, they do drugs, they watch porno, they enjoy violence, they lust, they take the Lord's name in vain, and more, and they are open about it, and they don't care. They blindly assume God will forgive them because Christ died on a cross. To me, that's like a serial killer killing, but then telling God he is sorry, but then still expecting to get into Heaven. To God, all sins are equally the same according to the bible. A true Christian would have no desire to sin, and would see lusting or lying or physically hurting or mistreating another human the same way they see murdering someone. They'd see it as so horrible, they wouldn't even want to think about it and would be disgusted by it.
If the Devil is indeed real, he is so good at what he does, it is beyong scary because he tricks millions of people into sinning daily, and still makes them think they are Christians who will go to Heaven, and then in the process, is able to turn people like me off from Christianity. Satan is indeed a master of deception. Being around these false converts is what lead to me leaving Christianity because I believed that is how Christianity was, but in all reality, I was not hating God, I was hating a wolf in sheep's closing. i.e. I was hating Satan pretending to be God.
This world is not our's. It belongs to God. However, Satan thinks it's his. You and I are slaves and we're in the middle, and you can either serve God or Satan. Now Satan will convince you that you are free, and your own God, or he convinces you that God approves of you, but the truth is, either way, Satan is really just slowly fattening you up for the kill. However if you serve God, he will provide shelter for you, and more, but you have to openly wear chains, not be ashamed, endure the abuse from the other side, and you are promised a kingdom if you can last and prove yourself worthy.
Since being an atheist, Satan has not provided for me anymore then what I thought God should. He has made me think I am my own god, and I have sinned, and not felt guilt, but that is all apart of the plan to fatten me up for the slaughter. Satan does not need to provide for me. He already has what he wants. And he knows if bad things happen, I would just blame God, or I would assume there is no God, and was just a case of bad luck. Either way, Satan wins unless I change my ways.
Alright, I think that's enough. I hope to get some feedback.
(Now what I am about to ramble about did not just happen overnight. It was a long process, and this rant will be long.)
The thing is, I was a believer of what Dinesh D'Souza calls "crayon Christianity". I believed in God because I was taught to believe, I was in it for the trip to Heaven, I highly underestimated the powers of Satan, and because I assumed you got whatever you wanted and because I never got what I wanted, and because I suffered, I stopped believing. It started as a hate for God, but then soon lead to no belief at all.
On the other end - I think there are literally millions of people who are the same way in a sense, who assume their good gifts come from God, but I don't think God has a plan for everyone, I don't think God knows everything, I think God is capable of punishing as well as rewarding human beings, and I don't think for the most part God interferes much in life, and I don't think there is any set plan. I think that this life here on earth DOES matter, nor do I think overpraying is a good thing and going to church is not always a good thing, especially if it is filled with false converts. I think that above is all apart of "crayon Christianity", and I think life just happens, and it's up to the human race to decide how we all live. To me, all the rules in the bible are there for a reason, and I get them, and living that lifestyle can lead to a happy life. And to me, that is being a Christian. And you follow the Lord not so you can go to Heaven or to get whatever you want, but because following His rules can be Heaven within itself.
Most of the Christians I have been around are not Christians and would be offended that I say they are not, but according to the bible, they are not. They lie, they steal, they get into fist fights, they drink, they do drugs, they watch porno, they enjoy violence, they lust, they take the Lord's name in vain, and more, and they are open about it, and they don't care. They blindly assume God will forgive them because Christ died on a cross. To me, that's like a serial killer killing, but then telling God he is sorry, but then still expecting to get into Heaven. To God, all sins are equally the same according to the bible. A true Christian would have no desire to sin, and would see lusting or lying or physically hurting or mistreating another human the same way they see murdering someone. They'd see it as so horrible, they wouldn't even want to think about it and would be disgusted by it.
If the Devil is indeed real, he is so good at what he does, it is beyong scary because he tricks millions of people into sinning daily, and still makes them think they are Christians who will go to Heaven, and then in the process, is able to turn people like me off from Christianity. Satan is indeed a master of deception. Being around these false converts is what lead to me leaving Christianity because I believed that is how Christianity was, but in all reality, I was not hating God, I was hating a wolf in sheep's closing. i.e. I was hating Satan pretending to be God.
This world is not our's. It belongs to God. However, Satan thinks it's his. You and I are slaves and we're in the middle, and you can either serve God or Satan. Now Satan will convince you that you are free, and your own God, or he convinces you that God approves of you, but the truth is, either way, Satan is really just slowly fattening you up for the kill. However if you serve God, he will provide shelter for you, and more, but you have to openly wear chains, not be ashamed, endure the abuse from the other side, and you are promised a kingdom if you can last and prove yourself worthy.
Since being an atheist, Satan has not provided for me anymore then what I thought God should. He has made me think I am my own god, and I have sinned, and not felt guilt, but that is all apart of the plan to fatten me up for the slaughter. Satan does not need to provide for me. He already has what he wants. And he knows if bad things happen, I would just blame God, or I would assume there is no God, and was just a case of bad luck. Either way, Satan wins unless I change my ways.
Alright, I think that's enough. I hope to get some feedback.
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