Cross Dressing at my School

[The Sum of Awe]

A student (who is openly homosexual) has been wearing a dress to school, and the first day he did he was sent home. Then, when the guy who runs things heard that this might be considered discrimination, he allowed the student to dress like this.

I think he has all of the right in the world to, he's not hurting anyone, and all that. But today he was wearing a wig, fake nails, etc. shaved legs. I thought he was a girl, I couldn't tell at first. So, silly me thinking it was a new student, asked him (I thought her) "When did you start coming to this school?" just to start a conversation. Well... when you hear a male voice reply "I'm not a new student" when you think you're talking to a girl then it's kind of strange.

Uncontrollably, I started laughing, I couldn't hold it back. It wasn't a falling to the ground laugh, but I did grin and laugh a little, and I felt bad, but I couldn't help it. I think this ticked him off by the look on his face.

But really - while I support the right to cross-dress if that's your thing, if a person sees something unusual, they are destined to have some sort of "offensive" reaction to it.

What does a person expect if it's uncommon? There were some people who really didn't care that were actually confronting him about it. I know he didn't deserve it, but all I'm saying is that he should've expected it. A teacher talked to all of her classes for supposed bullying today because of it. I do understand it's wrong to bring someone down, and I didn't do so myself, but you have to understand that it was fatal, how could you dress up that disagrees with societal fashion and not expect such criticism?


What do you think?

 

[Awoon]

Make a suggestion at your school that everyone declare their gender by wearing a tag on their left upper chest below the shoulder.

 

[Skwim]

Uncontrollably, I started laughing, I couldn't hold it back. It wasn't a falling to the ground laugh, but I did grin and laugh a little, and I felt bad, but I couldn't help it. I think this ticked him off by the look on his face.

What does a person expect if it's uncommon? There were some people who really didn't care that were actually confronting him about it. I know he didn't deserve it, but all I'm saying is that he should've expected it.

So, did you apologize for laughing at him, like any decent person would?

A teacher talked to all of her classes for supposed bullying today because of it. I do understand it's wrong to bring someone down, and I didn't do so myself, but you have to understand that it was fatal, how could you dress up that disagrees with societal fashion and not expect such criticism?


What do you think?

Do you know for a fact that he didn't expect the criticism?

 

[The Sum of Awe]

So, did you apologize for laughing at him, like any decent person would?

Of course, although I didn't exactly have the time to explain why I laughed.

Do you know for a fact that he didn't expect the criticism?

I'm pretty sure he did, anyone with common sense would. But I don't see why he'd be so frustrated if he did see this coming.

 

[Skwim]

Make a suggestion at your school that everyone declare their gender by wearing a tag on their left upper chest below the shoulder.

Yeah, to point up the fact that one of you is different.

 

[Curious George]

A student (who is openly homosexual) has been wearing a dress to school, and the first day he did he was sent home. Then, when the guy who runs things heard that this might be considered discrimination, he allowed the student to dress like this.

I think he has all of the right in the world to, he's not hurting anyone, and all that. But today he was wearing a wig, fake nails, etc. shaved legs. I thought he was a girl, I couldn't tell at first. So, silly me thinking it was a new student, asked him (I thought her) "When did you start coming to this school?" just to start a conversation. Well... when you hear a male voice reply "I'm not a new student" when you think you're talking to a girl then it's kind of strange.

Uncontrollably, I started laughing, I couldn't hold it back. It wasn't a falling to the ground laugh, but I did grin and laugh a little, and I felt bad, but I couldn't help it. I think this ticked him off by the look on his face.

But really - while I support the right to cross-dress if that's your thing, if a person sees something unusual, they are destined to have some sort of "offensive" reaction to it.

What does a person expect if it's uncommon? There were some people who really didn't care that were actually confronting him about it. I know he didn't deserve it, but all I'm saying is that he should've expected it. A teacher talked to all of her classes for supposed bullying today because of it. I do understand it's wrong to bring someone down, and I didn't do so myself, but you have to understand that it was fatal, how could you dress up that disagrees with societal fashion and not expect such criticism?


What do you think?

I think that there is a high likelihood that this individual is working out who they are and trying on different roles. I think that while part of the actions may be sincere another part may be to draw attention.

I think that "confronting" in your anecdote does not sound unlike bullying. I think it is unfortunate that the kids acted this way, and I think it is unfortunate that other kids stood by while others acted that way. I think it is unfortunate that the school would send a boy home for wearing a dress.

 

[Ablaze]

In high school and college, there were plenty of people here who cross-dressed without receiving any major, public backlash about it. Perhaps this is unique to the inner city where I grew up, which is already quite diverse and tends to be more liberal-leaning than suburban and rural settings.

Just as it is a choice whether or not to cross-dress, it is our choice whether or not to criticize, and thus criticism shouldn't automatically be expected in such a situation. All expectations aside, individuals are in full control of their own reactions, which often say more about themselves than about what they are reacting to.

A handful of friends I have met over the years have identified as either transgender or gender-queer. Personally, I'm in favor of letting others live freely, without baseless criticism, as long as their choices do not infringe upon others in any objectively harmful manner.

 

[Skwim]

In high school and college, there were plenty of people here who cross-dressed without receiving any major, public backlash about it. Perhaps this is unique to the inner city where I grew up, which is already quite diverse and tends to be more liberal-leaning than suburban and rural settings.

Interesting. Where is "here"?

 

[Ablaze]

Interesting. Where is "here"?

Minneapolis, until next Friday (moving to California).

 

[Awoon]

Yeah, to point up the fact that one of you is different.

One of you is different?

 

[Skwim]

Minneapolis, until next Friday (moving to California).

One of the most beautiful cities of its size in the country.

 

[Galen.Iksnudnard]

I'd say it's his choice what he wears. If he feels more comfortable in a dress than so be it, others should tolerate his decision to be an individual. End of story. It's not like he's forcing his choices on other people or hurting anyone.

The people that are bullying him though need to face the consequences of their actions.

 

[InformedIgnorance]

If your school has a uniform was he wearing the girl's uniform? Or if your school does not was he conforming to the dress code as required of girls?

It is quite likely that he will have to deal with a great deal worse as a result of people's reactions to his choices, while not exactly 'fair' it is something that he should come to expect to an extent and will need to be able to develop a thick skin because of it (though I assume being openly gay he probably has to an extent).

 

[Koldo]

What does a person expect if it's uncommon? There were some people who really didn't care that were actually confronting him about it. I know he didn't deserve it, but all I'm saying is that he should've expected it. A teacher talked to all of her classes for supposed bullying today because of it. I do understand it's wrong to bring someone down, and I didn't do so myself, but you have to understand that it was fatal, how could you dress up that disagrees with societal fashion and not expect such criticism?


What do you think?

I agree with you. :yes:

 

[Exhibitkris]

What does a person expect if it's uncommon?
I know he didn't deserve it, but all I'm saying is that he should've expected it. A teacher talked to all of her classes for supposed bullying today because of it. .....how could you dress up that disagrees with societal fashion and not expect such criticism?

What do you think?

The thing is, it’s not uncommon to him/her, and it feels completely natural for them to want to dress outside of the norm.

It’s incredibly unfair to expect the people who don’t identify with their biological gender or the “norm” of being straight to just develop a thick skin.
People can choose not to agree with different sexual identities but they need to learn to be mature and respect others differences. It’s never okay to treat others poorly just because you don’t understand their identity and it confuses and scares you.

Guess what, it confuses and scares the kids who know they don’t fit into the norm, but feel so strongly against it.

I consider myself lucky; growing up in the 80’s my mom never hid the fact that a few of her male friends were gay, it was always presented as an acceptable choice to me.

I think schools in general should have some kind of gender study seminar/course/assembly at the elementary school level to help introduce and teach acceptance of the people who identify themselves as being a part of the LGBT community :rainbow1:, it’s been around long enough, and it’s not a fad.

 

[Sand Dancer]

I am not addressing the question, but it brought up something I wanted to know about, not having seen this thing personally. Is this thing generally taken as normal behavior or is there some way to approach some counseling? Hormones dictate what gender we are and identify with, and usually they go together. IMO, this issue needs to be addressed, but is it the school's business to address this?

 

[Ablaze]

I am not addressing the question, but it brought up something I wanted to know about, not having seen this thing personally. Is this thing generally taken as normal behavior or is there some way to approach some counseling? Hormones dictate what gender we are and identify with, and usually they go together. IMO, this issue needs to be addressed, but is it the school's business to address this?

From the standpoint of modern, Western psychology, it is not an issue. In fact, neurological findings support the subjective experience of transgender individuals by objectively proving that brain chemistry and brain anatomy for these individuals is often closer to that of the other gender, with which they more strongly identify. Counseling and past diagnoses of "gender identity disorder" often do more harm than good. Imagine being trapped in the wrong body and being told that one must simply live with it, yet feeling absolutely alienated by this inescapable reality. Many become so depressed that they resort to self destructive patterns and suicide because they are not given the chance to lives as their true selves.

 

[Draka]

I'm trying to think back to see if I remember any guys dressing as girls in my high school. I don't recall any off-hand. I know there was a guy I worked with that dressed very feminine and he didn't appear to catch much slack for it, at least not any that I personally saw. He had a great attitude as well too. There were a few girls in my class at school that would dress and present very masculine, even wearing tuxes to prom, they also didn't seem to catch flack. One in particular was actually quite popular and, if I'm thinking correctly was, and still is, a pretty well respected artist.

I think a lot of it has to do with the size of a school/community as well as the attitude of the person themselves. The larger and more diverse the school is to begin with the more accepting the students seem to be of differences, and as long as the person who is carrying a major difference can do so while holding a strong attitude of "I'll be myself and like myself no matter what anyone else thinks", then things tend to go over better.

 

[Sand Dancer]

From the standpoint of modern, Western psychology, it is not an issue. In fact, neurological findings support the subjective experience of transgender individuals by objectively proving that brain chemistry and brain anatomy for these individuals is often closer to that of the other gender, with which they more strongly identify. Counseling and past diagnoses of "gender identity disorder" often do more harm than good. Imagine being trapped in the wrong body and being told that one must simply live with it, yet feeling absolutely alienated by this inescapable reality. Many become so depressed that they resort to self destructive patterns and suicide because they are not given the chance to lives as their true selves.

Thanks for the info. Someday I hope there will be a way to find out ways to identify this in a time where some sort of intervention can be done. That, or we all just need to do accept it.