Dating

[whereismynotecard]

I'm not into dating, but I like to think that if I did date people, I wouldn't let their religion alone dictate whether or not I stay with them. As long as they respect my lack of religion, I could respect their beliefs as well. I know plenty of religious people who are totally compatible with me, as friends, so I don't see why I couldn't date someone religious too, if I were into dating. I just wouldn't want them forcing me to go to church or some other religious activity with them *all the time.* I could go with them sometimes though. I do like learning about religions. I don't want any religion to control my life though, so I couldn't be with someone who demands that I attend a weekly church meeting. They'd have to agree that I will go with them when I feel like it, and only when I feel like it. Similarly, I wouldn't try to tell them that they *can't* go to church or that they *have* to do a certain thing with me every week. I can go to church on the sunday mornings when I feel like it, and he or she can watch The Walking Dead with me on sunday nights, when they feel like it. They do their thing; I'll do mine. Sometimes we can join each other.

 

[Iti oj]

you like who you like when i was younger i dated an islamic chick So a bit more as I said I dated a girl who was Islamic, I wasn't allowed to come over and meet her family it was distressing.

im now married to a fellow atheist and i don't think it would work if i married a religious (depending on religion )

one im admit my kid doesn't grow up indoctrinated.

but I think it depends on the religion.

one of the Abrahamic faiths wouldn't work out in the long run I think. But some forms of neopaganism would not be an issue.

 

[Iti oj]

as for doing things in our current predicament, sunday church would be a massive strain on our relationship

 

[cambridge79]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

If that involves she wants to stay virgin till we eventually marry, no I won t date her. Sexuality is extremely important in a relation and I won't renounce to it only cause she thinks her invisible friend forbids her.

For the rest you can go along in that situation if each one doesn't try to impose his view on the other. Example on Sunday you stay home reading a book and she goes to mass.
The very big problem comes when you want to have a children and you have to decide how to educate him, that is a problem many can't overcome.
I mean for her is a problem of saving the baby soul for him is a problem of saving the baby brain, is not an easy situation

 

[Omega Green]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

It would depend on the other qualities that the person had. A close friend of mine has genetic parents who - as best as I can tell, his mother is a strict Catholic monotheist and his father shrugs off religion as a bunch of - well, you know. But what they've got really works. So I think that discriminating solely on the basis of theism or non theism is potentially harsh. Saying you're a theist doesn't say whether or not you're compassionate, for example, and if you were compassionate then that might mean more than whether or not you're a theist. That said, she may be a compassionate atheist one day, which would be even more awesome...

 

[Spideymon77]

I date whoever I am attracted to, religious or not religious. Of course I would love to date someone with the same beliefs as me, definitely helps in the long run.

Besides, I live somewhere mostly populated by religious people. If I find someone with my beliefs, it's a miracle! XD

 

[Deidre]

It would depend on the other qualities that the person had. A close friend of mine has genetic parents who - as best as I can tell, his mother is a strict Catholic monotheist and his father shrugs off religion as a bunch of - well, you know. But what they've got really works. So I think that discriminating solely on the basis of theism or non theism is potentially harsh. Saying you're a theist doesn't say whether or not you're compassionate, for example, and if you were compassionate then that might mean more than whether or not you're a theist. That said, she may be a compassionate atheist one day, which would be even more awesome...

I like this explanation. I'm no longer an atheist, but this advice is good.

 

[Deidre]

I feel bad that I didn't reply back to some of the posts here, I came back to faith last fall, and must have let this thread go. Thanks to all who shared here.

 

[Whateverist]

Hello Deidre. Whateverist here by another name.

 

[viole]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

Of course. As long as he accepts my atheism. So, he needs to relax on that yoking thing. After all, my own marriage is the result of an atheist marrying a Christian.

I believe that love means accepting a person and his beliefs (within reason) or lack thereof, even if they do not correspond with mine. And I would even accept that he tries to push his beliefs on me; at his own risk, of course .

But if he fails to convince me about his beliefs, and yet insists that I become a Christian, then, when he asks for the next date, I would apply the Hollywood principle.

Ciao

- viole

 

[Deidre]

Hello Deidre. Whateverist here by another name.

Oh heyyy!! It's so good to see you here!

 

[Vorkosigan]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

I could date anyone just to get to know the person. In my experience no one believes exactly the same than anyone else, so before labeling, i try to actually talk to them.
But yes, eventually if it’s a close minded dogmatic person, I don’t think I could maintain a relationship.
I have limited tolerance for arguments based on scripture for instance.

 

[Omega Green]

Has anyone ever dated anybody before because of the persons family deciding that you would be a good match? Sort of like a blind date arranged by someones family?

 

[Deidre]

Has anyone ever dated anybody before because of the persons family deciding that you would be a good match? Sort of like a blind date arranged by someones family?

Not me, but my dad would LOOOOVE to choose my future husband lol

 

[Vorkosigan]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists? If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

I would like to ask you, do you think an atheist has no morality? Because I have found that for some inexplicable reason, many believers think so. I spouse that might be in the way of a healthy relationship.

 

[Deidre]

I would like to ask you, do you think an atheist has no morality? Because I have found that for some inexplicable reason, many believers think so. I spouse that might be in the way of a healthy relationship.

I was an atheist, so I'd have to say no to your question. lol I don't think atheists have no morality, in fact, I think morality comes from many different areas in life, and in part, through the evolutionary process. I do know MANY believers that think that atheists have no morals though.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

When it comes to dating as an atheist, do you tend to only date atheists?

No. I don't limit myself that way.

That being said, I was relieved when I found out that my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) wasn't religious. She would've been worth the extra effort and stress of trying to navigate a fundamental difference in worldviews, but I'm glad I didn't have to go through that.

If you were to meet someone say, out at a club or wherever...and after a few dates, you discover that the person is a devout theist...would you continue dating the person?

Just curious.

Depends on the religion. My ex was a devout Catholic, and that was definitely a factor that led to our divorce.

I see three factors that would give me pause if I saw them in the beliefs of a woman I was interested in:

- she thinks she needs to raise her (our) kids in her religion.
- she thinks she needs to convert me.
- her beliefs are so unjustified or harmful that I think less of her because of them.

How much a religion ticks these three boxes depends on the religion.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Nope, religion's a deal breaker in a relationship for me. I actually seriously considered divorcing my wife because she wanted to have our kids baptized. She isn't even religious either, she just thought it would be a pretty ceremony.

I understand that.

My ex and I never had kids, but we tried for a while, so we had discussions about these sorts of issues. It ended up at the point where I wouldn't stop any kids from being baptized, but refused to participate in any way. I had fundamental problems standing by and nodding as a priest effectively declares a child of mine to be a little ball of evil who would be fit to torture, and then "fix" them.

 

[ZooGirl02]

I suppose this situation doesn't really apply to me since I already have a significant other and am not looking for one but I would have no problem with dating a religious person so long as they didn't try to push their religion off on me. I would also have to be compatible with them in other ways too.

 

[Deidre]

I've returned to Christianity last year, and so this thread no longer really pertains to me, but when I was identifying as an atheist, I didn't have a problem dating theists. I'm engaged now and my fiance is a moderate Christian meaning he believes in God, but not a church goer, really. I don't go to church that much, either. But, anyway...if he were an atheist, I'd still be with him, I'm not sure that someone's faith makes them a better person or not. For some people, maybe. Idk.