Dealing with pornography

[Skwim]

It was to be read more in jest, a final appeal to what I have tried to sum as greater wisdom.

I'm not buying it. You were being quite serious.

I may be able to clarify my appeal with a question : what do you consider the role of pornography to be within a functional society?

A "functional" society you ask! Hmmmm . . . . . . well I don't know how it impacts society in any functional manner, nor that it necessarily should; however, on an individual level I suppose it would be to address the pleasure needs of some, not unlike other forms of entertainment.

Swim, as I read your replies I step away with refreshment; ah how I love the contrarian!

Whatever peels your banana. :slap:

 

[Timidly -Truthful-Seeker]

I'm not buying it. You were being quite serious.

A "functional" society you ask! Hmmmm . . . . . . well I don't know how it impacts society in any functional manner, nor that it necessarily should; however, on an individual level I suppose it would be to address the pleasure needs of some, not unlike other forms of entertainment.

Whatever peels your banana. :slap:

I am beginning to see that we cannot come to an understanding, but the conversation was entertaining enough! Maybe if more people spent time attempting to validate their beliefs and actions and less simply followed animalist urges we may be have the beginning of our societal woes. But then maybe I'm just green with envy? .... and now rhe contrary.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I'm not buying it. You were being quite serious.

I agree. But I wasn't shopping.

 

[Skwim]

I am beginning to see that we cannot come to an understanding, but the conversation was entertaining enough! Maybe if more people spent time attempting to validate their beliefs and actions

And people should "spend time attempting to validate their beliefs and actions," whatever that is, because . . . . . ?

and less simply followed animalist urges we may be have the beginning of our societal woes.

Is this really a time consuming enterprise?

But then maybe I'm just green with envy? .... and now rhe contrary.

In any case, envious of those who can indulge their erotic nature without guilt.



(FYI: know it's not your posting style to answer questions put to you, but rather find another tangent to explore, however, this really isn't conducive to productive discussions.)

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Two words: dial up.

Switch to dial up internet and you'll never look at porn again.

 

[Vinayaka]

I believe that for many it is difficult because you think about it negatively too much. For this mindset, the more you think about quitting, the more you're thinking about it, period. Each time you fail contributes to another habit: the habit of failing. So quit that habit first. Quit quitting for awhile, then, when the time is right, go cold turkey.

(I never watch porn. I never think about porn, period, it's just not a topic that ever comes up.)

 

[Brickjectivity]

Thank you so much Becky! What an encouragement that verse is!

Guilt is self hatred. Your guilt will not enable to change your behavior but instead will weaken your resolve. Your task is to find a 'Healer' who does not know they are a healer. First of all to find your healer, don't listen to people who like to talk; especially ones who talk about ideals constantly. Talking is often a screen that people use to shield themselves from pain and is not indicative of a healer. Look for people who are happy, busy, quiet and who have fun. Hang with those people, and also consider getting a professional counselor to listen to you and make informed suggestions, holistic suggestions not suggestions about how to suppress unwanted behaviors.

 

[Babyface]

Dear community,

I am ashamed to admit, though less than I ought be, that I have once again fallen into the snare of pornography. Though I am a Christian, advice from all is accepted. In one sense I enjoy the sin, if not but for the pleasure and I fear my conscience may become dull to the weight of my transgression. But as only God knows when I fall he knows how deeply I have resisted only to be overcome once again.

Andrew

I hear you bro. Longest I withstood was 1 month. That was last year. As for now, I'm on my 3rd week without watching or feeling the need to watch porn. Now this is different from all the other times, because, I do not even feel the need to watch. This is new for me. Before I just used to fight against it but I still wanted to see that stuff. So, I sincerely hope I might have a chance to go very far this time around. The thing I noticed is, I started hanging out alot more with the feminine genre. I've been hanging out with this group of girls and I didn't want to masturbate because I know how my face looks after that and how weird I act just after doing so. Your whole personality changes as I'm sure you are very aware, and I didn't want that.

That was for this recent success. As for a more general advice, you have to come up with stuff that fills your time schedule. Do not stay at home, especially at night, for more than 4 hours straight. Otherwise the need to watch porn will just show up somehow. Put your headphones on, go out for a jogg, call some friends and go out at night (pool, bowling, whatever), sign up for a sports activity, or a music activity.

FILL YOUR FREE TIME.

I am sending you some words of encouragement by PM.

Blessings

 

[Manna]

I commend you for openly and acceptingly discussing your personal struggles with not so good behaviours. The most important thing in my view is that you recognise that you can improve your habits and you are working hard to do so. I think God would recognise this and would be forgiving. God is loving and he gives us challenges that test us but he does this not to make us unhappy when we fail but to make us stronger so that in the future when an even bigger temptation comes up, we will be more prepared to deal with in comparison to if we did not have the little temptations that hardened our skin.

Yes Jesus was above temptations, but we are not him and so we should not be too hard on ourselves. I have had many temptations as well and I have done many things that I would not be happy to boast about but the important thing is that we are trying. God will recognise this effort.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

I watch porn and I enjoy it. What is considered erotic is subjective, anyway. I'm single and I don't see myself in a relationship for the foreseeable future. We're sexual beings and that's how God has made us. I tried abstaining from masturbation before, made it a year but it was like torture. I was tired of burdening myself with guilt, shame and self-hate for my sexual urges. Might as well masturbate and relieve sexual tension instead of having casual sex and causing more emotional harm to yourself.

My advice to you would be to stop beating yourself up over it. Accept yourself as a sexual being that has sexual urges. That's healthy. If you keep obsessing over porn, you will just keep thinking about it. Stop the shame cycle.

 

[crazedrat]

Listen buddy.. I have the same problem. The only way to beat this is to get a woman in your life, and to stay off of the internet. You have to find a way to do that. If you've got a woman but she isn't satisfying you then your issues are deeper than mine. I would say leave her, but the bible discourages that. So work on whatever issues your relationship has, if you are in one. Either way you have to find someone who satisfies you. It takes effort... do it. There's a reason you need pornography, and it's because you aren't meeting your needs in reality.

Too many people focus on just 'staying away from it' rather than questioning why they're driven to do it in the first place, and how to really resolve the issue.

 

[Pegg]

Listen buddy.. I have the same problem. The only way to beat this is to get a woman in your life, and to stay off of the internet. You have to find a way to do that. If you've got a woman but she isn't satisfying you then your issues are deeper than mine. I would say leave her, but the bible discourages that. So work on whatever issues your relationship has, if you are in one. Either way you have to find someone who satisfies you. It takes effort... do it. There's a reason you need pornography, and it's because you aren't meeting your needs in reality.

Too many people focus on just 'staying away from it' rather than questioning why they're driven to do it in the first place, and how to really resolve the issue.

the real problem is not that he is without a woman...its that pornography kills the ability to be satisfied physically because pornography reprograms your brain to be stimulated by images rather then physical closeness.

We need human touch... pornogaphy is not about 'touch'

 

[lewisnotmiller]

We need human touch... pornogaphy is not about 'touch'

You wear gloves?

 

[Brickjectivity]

My only real concern about porn is not its affect on adults but in whether it affects children. Adults can die, taking our problems with us. There are infinite chances to mitigate any problems caused by it. The main thing is keeping it from children.

 

[Flankerl]

the real problem is not that he is without a woman...its that pornography kills the ability to be satisfied physically because pornography reprograms your brain to be stimulated by images rather then physical closeness.

Iam sorry(well actually iam not) but thats just stupid.

 

[Pegg]

Iam sorry(well actually iam not) but thats just stupid.

read the book, 'the brain that changes itself'. There have been studies done which show this is the case.

 

[Dingbat]

read the book, 'the brain that changes itself'. There have been studies done which show this is the case.

Does the thought of millions of men wrangling their noodles scare you? Let alone women stuffing their tacos?

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Iam sorry(well actually iam not) but thats just stupid.

Brain scans of porn addicts: what's wrong with this picture? | Norman Doidge | Comment is free | The Guardian

 

[FranklinMichaelV.3]

Brain scans of porn addicts: what's wrong with this picture? | Norman Doidge | Comment is free | The Guardian

Well yeah, I mean women use to not shave all the time down there, and now because of porn a woman with an unkempt bush is a strange sight to behold.

 

[Pegg]

Does the thought of millions of men wrangling their noodles scare you? Let alone women stuffing their tacos?

not at all

but its very sad that a man would prefer to engage in that activity rather then share intimacy with his wife.

Self obsession is not a good thing.