Dealing with the over zealous?

[Punnchy]

I'm not a big reader of the bible, I think i made it a few chapters and then dropped it like a rock, however I'm currently dealing with a few thousand people who believe the kjv of the bible to the T and are a little relgiously overzealous in their beliefs, does anyone have any scriptures to get them off my back about not being a True Christian (tm) and to deal with their satirical ways?

 

[Eliot Wild]

I'm not a big reader of the bible, I think i made it a few chapters and then dropped it like a rock, however I'm currently dealing with a few thousand people who believe the kjv of the bible to the T and are a little relgiously overzealous in their beliefs, does anyone have any scriptures to get them off my back about not being a True Christian (tm) and to deal with their satirical ways?

If you want to be one of Jesus' assassins, here's what you got to know:

1. Love everybody. That's it. Treat everybody with compassion. Treat everybody the way you'd want to be treated. They'll never see that coming.

2. Oh, the verse for number 1. is something, like, "Do unto others . . . " blah, blah, blahn.

3. You can't unduly judge people. Who knows that the adulteress you don't stone today couldn't be a Circuit Court Judge you appear before tomorrow. That story is somewhere in the gospels. See: pharisees, casting first stone, punking Jesus, not.

4. Jesus did good things. He fed people, gave 'em wine, put on shows. If you're friends aren't willing to pay for food, pick up the bar tab and then dance back to the car, they ain't Christian.

5. Seriously, Jesus made Elvis look like me. He was the world's first rock star. But he walked the talk. If your friends own anything more than a robe, a staff and a pair of sandals, refer them to Jesus' comments about material wealth. I don't know the verses, but see: camel, eye of a needle, some parable or story about a wealthy prince . . .

That's all I can think of, good luck.

 

[Punnchy]

These guys will quote scripture showing where they can judge others, so that one's out of the book. There the type of people, on a public forum, will give you infractions and call you a god mocking satanist for not following the kjv of the bible.

 

[doppelganger]

Step 1: Clearly establish boundaries for people who don't intuitively understand them, so you can say they were warned.

Step 2: Fake a conversion to something even more irritating (Scientology comes to mind) and never stop insisting that THEY join you . . . never . . . until they finally point out how irritating it is . . . and then say "QED," turn your back to them and walk away, and never acknowledge their existence again.

If you want the Discordian version of step 2, it's as follows, from the Principia Discordia:

A PRIMER FOR ERISIAN EVANGELISTS by Lord Omar
The SOCRATIC APPROACH is most successful when confronting the ignorant. The "socratic approach" is what you call starting an argument by asking questions. You approach the innocent and simply ask "Did you know that God's name is ERIS, and that He is a girl?" If he should answer "Yes." then he probably is a fellow Erisian and so you can forget it. If he says "No." then quickly proceed to:
THE BLIND ASSERTION and say "Well, He Is a girl, and His name is ERIS!" Shrewedly observe if the subject is convinced. If he is, swear him into the Legion of Dynamic Discord before he changes his mind. If he does not appear convinced, then proceed to:
THE FAITH BIT: "But you must have Faith! All is lost without Faith! I sure feel sorry for you if you don't have Faith." And then add:
THE ARGUMENT BY FEAR and in an ominous voice ask "Do you know what happens to those who deny Goddess?" If he hesitates, don't tell him that he will surely be reincarnated as a precious Mao Button and distributed to the poor in the Region of Thud (which would be a mean thing to say), just shake your head sadly and, while wiping a tear from your eye, go to:
THE FIRST CLAUSE PLOY wherein you point to all of the discord and confusion in the world and exclaim "Well who the hell do you think did all of this, wise guy?" If he says, "Nobody, just impersonal forces." then quickly respond with:
THE ARGUMENT BY SEMANTICAL GYMNASTICS and say that he is absolutely right, and that those impersonal forces are female and that Her name is ERIS. If he, wonder of wonders, still remains obstinate, then finally resort to:
THE FIGURATIVE SYMBOLISM DODGE and confide that sophisticated people like himself recognize that Eris is a Figurative Symbol for an Ineffable Metaphysical Reality and that The Erisian Movement is really more like a poem than like a science and that he is liable to be turned into a Precious Mao Button and Distributed to The Poor in The Region of Thud if he does not get hip. Then put him on your mailing list.

 

[Punnchy]

Ahh, i just found out, after doing a little bit more research on this group of people, that they're all part of a fake forum that proclaims so much hatred in the name of god it will actually make people think badly of religion if they stumble upon it.

 

[doppelganger]

Ahh, i just found out, after doing a little bit more research on this group of people, that they're all part of a fake forum that proclaims so much hatred in the name of god it will actually make people think badly of religion if they stumble upon it.

And that's different from other evangelists how . . . ?

 

[Kathryn]

Ahh, i just found out, after doing a little bit more research on this group of people, that they're all part of a fake forum that proclaims so much hatred in the name of god it will actually make people think badly of religion if they stumble upon it.

Now THAT is messed up.

Punnchy, I just responded to another thread of yours about a different site you hang out on as well.

Do you think maybe you should turn the computer off and get out more? I'm being serious. I mean - hang out here some because this is a great forum , but disentangle yourself from some of these other weird sites you're frequenting. You can waste a lot of otherwise productive time in the real world by spending too much time arguing and interacting with people you will never be able to verify or have a real relationship with.

 

[Punnchy]

Now THAT is messed up.

Punnchy, I just responded to another thread of yours about a different site you hang out on as well.

Do you think maybe you should turn the computer off and get out more? I'm being serious. I mean - hang out here some because this is a great forum , but disentangle yourself from some of these other weird sites you're frequenting. You can waste a lot of otherwise productive time in the real world by spending too much time arguing and interacting with people you will never be able to verify or have a real relationship with.

Google Landover if you wanna see the monstrosity.

I work overnights so I don't get the chance to get out much, when I want to hang out with people I have to adjust my sleep schedule to accomidate them most usually, my hobbies include video games, drawing, and spending time on forums and the virtual environment called second life (emerald user). While I'm currently courting a girl who lives about 20 minutes away I'm stressed to find the time to actually interact with people in the real world, I'm going to church this morning to reconnect with something I haven't done in a while and will cook dinner for my best friend one night this week, after I get up.

 

[Thief]

If you want to be one of Jesus' assassins, here's what you got to know:

1. Love everybody. That's it. Treat everybody with compassion. Treat everybody the way you'd want to be treated. They'll never see that coming.

2. Oh, the verse for number 1. is something, like, "Do unto others . . . " blah, blah, blahn.

3. You can't unduly judge people. Who knows that the adulteress you don't stone today couldn't be a Circuit Court Judge you appear before tomorrow. That story is somewhere in the gospels. See: pharisees, casting first stone, punking Jesus, not.

4. Jesus did good things. He fed people, gave 'em wine, put on shows. If you're friends aren't willing to pay for food, pick up the bar tab and then dance back to the car, they ain't Christian.

5. Seriously, Jesus made Elvis look like me. He was the world's first rock star. But he walked the talk. If your friends own anything more than a robe, a staff and a pair of sandals, refer them to Jesus' comments about material wealth. I don't know the verses, but see: camel, eye of a needle, some parable or story about a wealthy prince . . .

That's all I can think of, good luck.

How about....
I die and go to heaven.
When I get there, everyone wants to know how it went.
They want to get to know me.

In the course of conversation, they learn who dealt to me generosity,
patience, forgiveness....
They also learn who it was that blacked my eye, and kicked me when I went down.

You will be received by my brothers in heaven, as you received me....
as many times as I have brothers.

This work for you?
Or maybe you're hoping there is no afterlife.

 

[Kathryn]

Google Landover if you wanna see the monstrosity.

I work overnights so I don't get the chance to get out much, when I want to hang out with people I have to adjust my sleep schedule to accomidate them most usually, my hobbies include video games, drawing, and spending time on forums and the virtual environment called second life (emerald user). While I'm currently courting a girl who lives about 20 minutes away I'm stressed to find the time to actually interact with people in the real world, I'm going to church this morning to reconnect with something I haven't done in a while and will cook dinner for my best friend one night this week, after I get up.

Working nights can indeed be very stressful, on both your body and your social life. I can empathize with you on that - I worked nights for just a short period in my life and it was extremely difficult.

I'm glad you're going to church today. I really hope you find some refreshment for your soul and spirit there!

 

[Guitar's Cry]

Google Landover if you wanna see the monstrosity.

Landover, as in Landover Baptists?

It's a satirical site. Landover Baptist Church - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Here's what they say about Wiccans: Wicca: Intoxicated By Christian Blood!

Gentoo and I had some good laughs with this site in college.

 

[Punnchy]

Working nights can indeed be very stressful, on both your body and your social life. I can empathize with you on that - I worked nights for just a short period in my life and it was extremely difficult.

I'm glad you're going to church today. I really hope you find some refreshment for your soul and spirit there!

That I did, it's made me think that I don't need that satirical site or their backward belief systems.

 

[Eliot Wild]

How about....
I die and go to heaven.
When I get there, everyone wants to know how it went.
They want to get to know me.

In the course of conversation, they learn who dealt to me generosity,
patience, forgiveness....
They also learn who it was that blacked my eye, and kicked me when I went down.

You will be received by my brothers in heaven, as you received me....
as many times as I have brothers.

This work for you?
Or maybe you're hoping there is no afterlife.

I was kind of hoping heaven was an everlasting party, sort of a 24-7 happy hour with nothing but really cool live bands. But that's just me. To each his own, I suppose.

Let me explain it another way:

I die and go to heaven.
The music is hot, but not like hell fire.
Hendrix is there, wailing on a strat.
Mitch Mitchell plays drums for him,
but occassionally Keith Moon sits in.

During their songs,
Hendrix plays love, electric lullabies singe the atmosphere.
He plays generosity and patience and finishes with forgiveness.

Some dude in the back doesn't look happy,
perhaps finding it hard to laugh at this cosmic comedy.
I wander toward him, hoping to explain what heaven is all about,
or perhaps tell him a joke to stir his humor, hopefully prod him to smile.

But right at the punchline, before it leaves my mouth,
Stevie Ray Vaughn slashes some chord
that sails all the way to the rings of Saturn.
My words are lost in an impossible rush of sound
that brings thunderous applause from men and angels.

I realize with sadness the dude didn't understand me at all.

If I had any advice, though I wouldn't presume it heeded,
it would be this:
"Whenever considering a man's motives,
remember you must not measure his wheat with your own bushel.
He may not be using the same standard at all."

This work for you?








....

 

[Thief]

I was kind of hoping heaven was an everlasting party, sort of a 24-7 happy hour with nothing but really cool live bands. But that's just me. To each his own, I suppose.

Let me explain it another way:

I die and go to heaven.
The music is hot, but not like hell fire.
Hendrix is there, wailing on a strat.
Mitch Mitchell plays drums for him,
but occassionally Keith Moon sits in.

During their songs,
Hendrix plays love, electric lullabies singe the atmosphere.
He plays generosity and patience and finishes with forgiveness.

Some dude in the back doesn't look happy,
perhaps finding it hard to laugh at this cosmic comedy.
I wander toward him, hoping to explain what heaven is all about,
or perhaps tell him a joke to stir his humor, hopefully prod him to smile.

But right at the punchline, before it leaves my mouth,
Stevie Ray Vaughn slashes some chord
that sails all the way to the rings of Saturn.
My words are lost in an impossible rush of sound
that brings thunderous applause from men and angels.

I realize with sadness the dude didn't understand me at all.

If I had any advice, though I wouldn't presume it heeded,
it would be this:
"Whenever considering a man's motives,
remember you must not measure his wheat with your own bushel.
He may not be using the same standard at all."

This work for you?








....

It was very entertaining.

But before the back stage passes are handed out....
you gotta get past security.

 

[Eliot Wild]

But before the back stage passes are handed out....
you gotta get past security.

Isn't it the backstage pass that gets one past security? I mean, that's the way it worked at all the concerts I've been lucky enough to get backstage at. You flash your pass and security waves you through the pearly gates.

I don't know. I suppose heaven might have much more stingent protocols.

The one thing that does seem likely is that you and I are seeing things from opposite sides of the same metaphor. Personally, I find most images of heaven to be a bit earthbound and comical, especially my own feeble renditions.

 

[doppelganger]

Isn't it the backstage pass that gets one past security?

Yep.

"before the law" by franz kafka

 

[Thief]

Isn't it the backstage pass that gets one past security? I mean, that's the way it worked at all the concerts I've been lucky enough to get backstage at. You flash your pass and security waves you through the pearly gates.

I don't know. I suppose heaven might have much more stingent protocols.

The one thing that does seem likely is that you and I are seeing things from opposite sides of the same metaphor. Personally, I find most images of heaven to be a bit earthbound and comical, especially my own feeble renditions.

We agree at this point.

Most people see heaven as continuance of what we do now.

And who you are, leads to what you become.

I've seen it written that God is no respecter of persons.
That would make Him God.

Who you are translates into what you become.
I suspect there is reference to your past, as some notion to the past,
makes you what you are.

I further suspect many people will be taken by surprise about...
what they become.

"Do not conform to this world...be transformed by it."

 

[Eliot Wild]

Yep.

"before the law" by franz kafka

I love Kafka. Everytime I read a kafka story, I always chide myself for not reading more Kafka.

 

[doppelganger]

"Do not conform to this world...be transformed by it."

" . . . except to the extent someone is demanding you profess some magic words of belief so you can get into a vaguely understood place called 'Heaven.' In which case . . . conform."

 

[Thief]

" . . . except to the extent someone is demanding you profess some magic words of belief so you can get into a vaguely understood place called 'Heaven.' In which case . . . conform."

Which is why I don't practice religion.
Spiritual life has a lot to do, with what you do.... with your hands...what you say...
but ritual isn't one of them.