Definition of who you are

[GoodbyeDave]

I am the chili pepper in your stew...

 

[Monk Of Reason]

I was talking to my ex a moment ago and I found out some things I wish I had known when we were dating. She says that being gay (LGBTQ identity), being African American, a woman, married, a mother, and so forth does not define her as a person. She says that the ability to give knowledge (things that are not concrete, in my words) defines her. I find that weird because everything and everyone I connect to and connects to me from family, creativity, to my sexual orientation/or my gender identity and sexuality as a woman defines who I am.

What defines you as who you are?

Do you believe people and/or environment can define you? Yes or no?

If they do not (like my friend), what defines you and how do you describe it?

If it is religious in nature, are there other things within that religious foundation that defines you or is it only religion or spirituality?

I believe who we are is the culminations of our actions. Our intentions do not matter. Our beliefs do not matter. Groups and labes are just social tools used to help us understand other people in a vague sense so that we may speed up social processes.

All we ever are is what we accomplish. Everything else is secondary. Things we meant to do and the intentions we had? The dreams we dreamed that were left unfulfiled? Those were just the potential versions of what we could have been or could have acomplished. But they never came to be.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I was talking to my ex a moment ago and I found out some things I wish I had known when we were dating. She says that being gay (LGBTQ identity), being African American, a woman, married, a mother, and so forth does not define her as a person. She says that the ability to give knowledge (things that are not concrete, in my words) defines her. I find that weird because everything and everyone I connect to and connects to me from family, creativity, to my sexual orientation/or my gender identity and sexuality as a woman defines who I am.

People commonly talk about what defines them, when really they are identifying the traits or relationships they believe are most impactful and meaningful. In reality, we can't define ourselves in that manner. Rather than actually meaning being a woman, mother, African American, gay, etc does not define her, she is saying it does not limit her.
Or else she's delusional. One of the other.

What defines you as who you are?

It's a good question, but complex. Does anyone truly know the answer? Everything I've experienced to this point, plus a mess of my genes. I think some aspects of my personality are more important and impactful. At a guess, I would say the people I have met are probably the most impactful. I like to think they have taught me (deliberately or no) to be a balanced, calm person who is willing to listen as well as speak. Increasingly over my life, confidence has been less of an issue. Initially, I was better at listening. Funnily, I would suggest that as my speaking skills and confidence have increased, my listening skills may have decreased. Hard to tell, I'm so much more busy these days...that could also be the reason I suppose.

Do you believe people and/or environment can define you? Yes or no?

Not directly. But they have a massive impact on a person, so indirectly, certainly. Even if I didn't want it to, having 2 daughters has impacted on who I am, and how I look at things.
[/QUOTE]

 

[Unveiled Artist]

People commonly talk about what defines them, when really they are identifying the traits or relationships they believe are most impactful and meaningful. In reality, we can't define ourselves in that manner. Rather than actually meaning being a woman, mother, African American, gay, etc does not define her, she is saying it does not limit her.
Or else she's delusional. One of the other.

---
It's a good question, but complex. Does anyone truly know the answer? Everything I've experienced to this point, plus a mess of my genes. I think some aspects of my personality are more important and impactful. At a guess, I would say the people I have met are probably the most impactful. I like to think they have taught me (deliberately or no) to be a balanced, calm person who is willing to listen as well as speak. Increasingly over my life, confidence has been less of an issue. Initially, I was better at listening. Funnily, I would suggest that as my speaking skills and confidence have increased, my listening skills may have decreased. Hard to tell, I'm so much more busy these days...that could also be the reason I suppose.
--
Not directly. But they have a massive impact on a person, so indirectly, certainly. Even if I didn't want it to, having 2 daughters has impacted on who I am, and how I look at things.

Yeah. I think all of what you said in my opinion defines who you are. I wouldn't know "who" or what we actually are if we were not influenced by our environment, people, and interpretations of such. It's one of those "what is the purpose of life" questions I've never asked myself.

she is saying it does not limit her

Yeah. She did say this directly. I asked her how that was limiting her, really. I mean when you are defined by all of these things they make you free because you understand yourself, your past, present, and future. If I wasn't defined by all of these aspects (since the god-thing is kinda missin' ) then I wouldn't know who I was, I'd just be bones and flesh and water. I wonder why there always have to be some type of mystery or spirit-ual aspect of person. Maybe I'm a humanist, who knows. /shrugs/

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Yeah. She did say this directly. I asked her how that was limiting her, really. I mean when you are defined by all of these things they make you free because you understand yourself, your past, present, and future. If I wasn't defined by all of these aspects (since the god-thing is kinda missin' ) then I wouldn't know who I was, I'd just be bones and flesh and water. I wonder why there always have to be some type of mystery or spirit-ual aspect of person. Maybe I'm a humanist, who knows. /shrugs/

At a guess, I don't think she'd see them as directly limiting her. I think it would be more how people view her, and the assumptions and boundaries they therefore establish. She doesn't like the 'roles' life commonly assigns to her, I suppose.

 

[Kilgore Trout]

She says she is part of her children, but her children isnt a part of her. Does that make sense?

I think the natural human drive to define one's self by labels is both limiting and inaccurate.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

@Kilgore Trout

I think the natural human drive to define one's self by labels is both limiting and inaccurate.

How so?

 

[crossfire]

<...>

What defines you as who you are?

Do you believe people and/or environment can define you? Yes or no?

If they do not (like my friend), what defines you and how do you describe it?

If it is religious in nature, are there other things within that religious foundation that defines you or is it only religion or spirituality?

What defines me as who I am? Not this, not that (neti-neti.) Limits define, so I place the limits where I don't want to develop, and don't define/place limits where I want to develop.