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Depression

1137

Here until I storm off again
Premium Member
Thanks for the inspiration Q. Any other left hand path walkers here suffer from depression or exist in close proximity to it? Awful thing to have to live with yes, and many would love you to believe you can only deal with it through drugs and counseling. Probably a product of the pathetic and lazy world we live in that loves self victimization (goes hand and hand with AA and such admitting things are out of our control). But have any of you seen the power the mind has to battle itself? I mean start with understanding that your negative thoughts aren't true and you're on your way. I think we here have an advantage over others, as in many situations other than depression.
 
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Titanic

Well-Known Member
I am not apart of the left hand path, so i hope you do not take offense by my reply but i do have depression. It is an awful thing to have to live with, but you have to go on cause what else is there? death? we will get there one day. why not live? that is the way i see it. I hope you get better.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
Yes, I think everyone has suffered from depression at one point, and it's not unlikely they will again. At least for me, depression is an off and on thing.

Depression is the mind thinking of the bad, not the good, or else it sees the good and justifies the bad over it. It can often ruin magick or make it messy, at least for me, that's why I always do my best to be happy.

And to be happy again, my strategy has always been a game - try to get as close to a bird as possible before it flies away, it really calms you, almost like meditation.
 

1137

Here until I storm off again
Premium Member
Whoa, that's a brilliant idea, I'm going to try it.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
I think the major problem with my depression isn't really the depression itself, it's more that I really don't want to get rid of it, I mean when I have it I do want to rid it, but at those times I'm near-vulnerable to it, but when I'm not suffering from it I'm afraid that if I lose it I'll become over-happy, kind of.
 

Titanic

Well-Known Member
I think the major problem with my depression isn't really the depression itself, it's more that I really don't want to get rid of it, I mean when I have it I do want to rid it, but at those times I'm near-vulnerable to it, but when I'm not suffering from it I'm afraid that if I lose it I'll become over-happy, kind of.

If you do not mind me asking why are you depressed, if this is too personal of a question I understand and you do not have too answer.
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
If you do not mind me asking why are you depressed, if this is too personal of a question I understand and you do not have too answer.

Well, it's probably called an existential crisis but basically I have constant repetitive thoughts of doing something stupid like getting expelled on purpose or have vivid suicidal thoughts and that's because I feel it's all completely worthless.

So, to avoid posting a book - school
 

Titanic

Well-Known Member
school sucks, that is a FACT. I understand man it is hard. I used to be very bad depressed during my teen year's. That was like 3 years ago. I just say hang in there.
 

The Wizard

Active Member
Thanks for the inspiration Q. Any other left hand path walkers here suffer from depression or exist in close proximity to it? Awful thing to have to live with yes, and many would love you to believe you can only deal with it through drugs and counseling. Probably a product of the pathetic and lazy world we live in that loves self victimization (goes hand and hand with AA and such admitting things are out of our control). But have any of you seen the power the mind has to battle itself? I mean start with understanding that your negative thoughts aren't true and you're on your way. I think we here have an advantage over others, as in many situations other than depression.
I can agree with most. What I also find ironic is the wordage involved. If depressed means unhappy then what is "pressed" when happy? I, myself, choose to not be pressed or depressed. Either one sounds bad...As if such wordage means I'm a button... What!..Good grief....
 
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1137

Here until I storm off again
Premium Member
Depression is far different than being unhappy, it's also different from an existential "crisis".
 

Shadow Wolf

Certified People sTabber & Business Owner
I have regular and frequent bouts of depression and anxiety.

I mean start with understanding that your negative thoughts aren't true and you're on your way. I think we here have an advantage over others, as in many situations other than depression.
Some of them are, some of them aren't. One problem of my depression is the daily, and often excruciating pain I am in from my knee. It's not false, but something that takes either a good deal of alcohol or very deep meditation to not be so pulled down by it. Another issue is being socialized in a way that had me convenced for many years that I am unlikeable, and being recently reminded of that idea. It's not true, but it still takes alot of effort and energy to get over when it seems that an overwhelming amount of more people have disliked you than liked you.
And then some people are just have genetic predispositions for it.

I am not apart of the left hand path, so i hope you do not take offense by my reply but i do have depression. It is an awful thing to have to live with, but you have to go on cause what else is there? death? we will get there one day. why not live? that is the way i see it. I hope you get better.
On just about every single day of my life I wish that on the few occasions I came so close to dying (such as my birth, which I almost didn't survive, or another time in which I nearly drowned) I could have just died rather than linger on.

And then there are times when society it seems just wants you dead, and loneliness is a very hard road to walk.
 

Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
I had a relatively mild clinical case in the past, yes. Conventional treatments worked quite well, which is part of why it makes me uncomfortable when people knock them. The other part is because I get concerned about people not getting the help they need because of misplaced ideas about mental illness or mental health professionals. I watched a friend wallow in his own self-misery for years because of that sort of thing. On one level it was painful to watch, and on the other level I ended up acting as his counselor, which was a very difficult thing to do. But when your friend flat out refuses to see a professional, what can you do? Just say "screw you and die already?" Yeah right.

Is conventional treatment the only way? No. Is it a darned good idea to start off with it? Absolutely. Thinking you know more than the professionals is just dumb. But I've got family in the medical field, so you could say I was raised with a respect for wellness professions, physical and mental. I also have an acute awareness of the level of care these professionals truly have for their clients and how demanding that is on the practitioners. There's this odd balance they have to hit between professionalism, emotional investment, and detachment. I don't know how they manage, because I don't think that I could. When I ended up as an unprofessional counselor for my friend, the ramifications in terms of responsibility alone were crushing. What I said or didn't say could mean life or death. That was... very uncomfortable.

It is true, though, that one's own mind can be a great asset in dealing with mental illnesses of all sorts. The problem is that sometimes we are not really aware of our own mental dialogue, so we can't see the problem. That is where it helps to have a counselor who can note patterns in your way of thinking and suggest alternatives. I would say practices like meditation would be more helpful in this regard than any particular religious path. Certain forms of meditation have the deliberate goal of making us aware of our thought processes, as well as learning how to reign them in. Just one of the many reasons I feel meditation should be taught in basic health and wellness for high school kids. :D
 

methylatedghosts

Can't brain. Has dumb.
Another issue is being socialized in a way that had me convenced for many years that I am unlikeable, and being recently reminded of that idea. It's not true, but it still takes alot of effort and energy to get over when it seems that an overwhelming amount of more people have disliked you than liked you.
And then some people are just have genetic predispositions for it.

If it means anything to you, I like you :D

:hug:
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
Depression is far different than being unhappy, it's also different from an existential "crisis".

I know, and that's why I didn't exactly want to write a huge wall of text on here, it's a lot more complicated than how I summarized it, believe it or not.
 

Adramelek

Setian
Premium Member
Ways to overcome depression:
1. Stay active
2. Bathe every day
3. Stay inspired
4. Cultivate and develope your talents.
5. Surround yourself with things that inspire you.
6. Surround yourself with or at least keep in regular contact with those friends who know and understand you.
7. Don't be a hermit. Enteract with the world.
8. Just be you, don't concern yourself with those who might dislike you.
9. Remember - without purpose the force of mind must fail.

Xeper.
/Adramelek\
Gnothi seauton!
 

apophenia

Well-Known Member
Ways to overcome depression:
1. Stay active
2. Bathe every day
3. Stay inspired
4. Cultivate and develope your talents.
5. Surround yourself with things that inspire you.
6. Surround yourself with or at least keep in regular contact with those friends who know and understand you.
7. Don't be a hermit. Enteract with the world.
8. Just be you, don't concern yourself with those who might dislike you.
9. Remember - without purpose the force of mind must fail.

Xeper.
/Adramelek\
Gnothi seauton!

Good advice. I would add being physically active and deliberately cultivating somatic awareness. Depression is intensely introverted and disconnected from pervasive continuous body-awareness.

Doors asked if there may be any advantage in suffering depression. There can be if you respond with some courage - you either learn how to cultivate your state, and live deliberately rather than reactively, or you sink.
 
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1137

Here until I storm off again
Premium Member
Can you clarify what you are saying here? I lurk often but am unsure of what you mean.

The belief that we must be carried by others through depression,sobriety, what have you is probably a result of the society we live in. It wasn't originally implied but actually it's very Christian.
 
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Quintessence

Consults with Trees
Staff member
Premium Member
I find it curious that you make that observation, Doors, because it's fairly well known and evidenced that American culture is extremely independent and against the idea of being carried by others. In fact, I would say we're so obsessed with the idea of being self-sufficient we cause ourselves harm by unwisely thinking we can handle every problem on your own and not asking for help from others. It's not really a Christian thing to value and recognize the need for help from others; Europe is pretty secular compared to the US and they have a stronger appreciation of social welfare than we do here. Compared to us, they don't mind sacrificing individual freedom to make sure no one is in need, and they have a less egocentric worldview in general. Here in the US? Propose government-run health care like what Europe has - a system that actually works unlike the individualistic piece of $#@% we have here - and you get snarled at for being a socialist. It's ridiculous, honestly.
 
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