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Do Women Really Prefer "Bad Boys"? Here's What the Science Says...

Spideymon77

A Smiling Empty Soul
Since I'm a heterosexual male, I cannot say what the majority of women want. What I can say is being in lust is just a temptation that you can pass while being in love is a heart warming yet heartbreaking process.

Bad boys probably make some women lust for that while nice guys are most likely to be chosen a love partner. Again, I can't say much since I'm a Privileged Cis White Male, but I know that I personally lust for women who are just the hottest and I fall in love with someone who I find attractive inside and out.
 

lovesong

:D
Premium Member
I personally have always preferred the "bad boys" and found that relationships with "nice guys" never work out for me. This may be because I'm a "bad girl" myself (doing similar things to "bad boys" which I can't discuss here as per the forum rules). I also love them for their fierce protectiveness and commitment, as they tend to be aggressive towards those who threaten what's theirs, and I have always loved cracking a thick hard shell to find a soft teddy bear inside, it's like a prize. The final reason why I tend to be more compatible with the "bad boys" is that a good number of them have a rough history in one way or another, which makes it easier for them to understand and relate to others with their own set of damages (me).
 

columbus

yawn <ignore> yawn
I have always loved cracking a thick hard shell to find a soft teddy bear inside, it's like a prize.
I have always preferred to find a big bear(not necessarily named Teddy) and ripping off the soft exterior to find the cracking thick hard...
:)
But I am a guy, so it is probably not relevant to the thread.
Tom
 

Acim

Revelation all the time
I wouldn't trust science on this. The article just confirms reasons not to trust science. Such as:

One way to investigate the issue is to present women with hypothetical men with different personality types and see which ones they prefer. In one such study, participants had to help a fictional character named Susan choose a date from three male contestants, based on their answers to her questions. In one version, the man was nice – he was in touch with his feelings, caring and kind. In another, he was a self-described “real man” who was insensitive and unkind. The third contestant simply gave neutral answers.

This is essentially just reinforcing stereotypes rather than choosing (own) dating partners. I imagine heterosexual guys responding to formalized hypothetical saying they want a polite, kind lady over easy harlot (RF censored the word I chose instead of harlot). But away from the controlled environment that tries to account for all of 4 variables, I see it as vastly different. Foremost, not all people are going to be attracted to same type regardless. Secondarily, people are fooled by the fantasy of what they think is being presented to them. Thus, the getting to know (personal details) are what will move attraction forward or have a person withdraw. First dates / meetings are all about putting on best game face, and introducing the fantasy. Some people may be really bad at that, and such get ruled out before any serious 'getting to know ya' type process can work. As much as that is on them, it really is on the person that withdraws.

Another part of the linked article says: "The problem with the nice-guys-finish-last stereotype, aside from going against the grain of years of scientific evidence, is that it may compromise the possibility of forming meaningful relationships."

That "years of evidence" is linked to one book, written in 2016. Sure it draws on "years of evidence" but is not exactly scientific, nor is it cumulative. If hooking up with a person for earthly romance is appealing, I think street smarts will go further than whatever science is currently investigating. You can still appreciate your science, and pursue that for all its worth. But take that into the domain of romance and keeping a partner satisfied and there for the long term and science will still be in bed while the romanticist stops to smell the flowers on their way to 'work.'
 

suncowiam

Well-Known Member
Let's do the typical RF debate strategy.

Bad definition:
adjective
1. of poor quality; inferior or defective.
"a bad diet"
synonyms: substandard, poor, inferior, second-rate, second-class, unsatisfactory, inadequate, unacceptable, not up to scratch, not up to par, deficient, imperfect, defective, faulty, shoddy, amateurish, careless, negligent, miserable, sorry; More
2. not such as to be hoped for or desired; unpleasant or unwelcome.
"bad weather"

Why would anyone want a bad boy!

With that said, do nice guys really finish in last place?

I don't know, you have to ask them. =P
 

Acim

Revelation all the time
Let's do the typical RF debate strategy.

Bad definition:
adjective
1. of poor quality; inferior or defective.
"a bad diet"
synonyms: substandard, poor, inferior, second-rate, second-class, unsatisfactory, inadequate, unacceptable, not up to scratch, not up to par, deficient, imperfect, defective, faulty, shoddy, amateurish, careless, negligent, miserable, sorry; More
2. not such as to be hoped for or desired; unpleasant or unwelcome.
"bad weather"

Why would anyone want a bad boy!

Going with definition 1, and particularly the synonyms, AND thinking of the story presented in Titanic, I think it is obvious. Who wants to be trapped in a life with a selfish jerk when a bad boy can show you so much more about yourself and enjoying life in this world?
 

suncowiam

Well-Known Member
Going with definition 1, and particularly the synonyms, AND thinking of the story presented in Titanic, I think it is obvious. Who wants to be trapped in a life with a selfish jerk when a bad boy can show you so much more about yourself and enjoying life in this world?

It's kind of debatable who the bad boy was in that movie. I did cry watching that movie. There, I admitted it! "Why did it have to be Jack, Why?!?!"
 

David1967

Well-Known Member
Premium Member
http://www.iflscience.com/brain/do-women-really-go-bad-boys-here-s-science-settles-question/all/

Apparently, despite the fact that some women may prefer bad boys to nice guys, most women prefer nice guys to bad boys -- even to the extent of perceiving nice guys as more physically attractive than jerks.

Seems like age may have something to do with it. When I was in high school I noticed that many of the nice girls seemed to be drawn to the bad boys, but now many years after, looks like most settled down with a nice guy.
 

buddhist

Well-Known Member
Seems like age may have something to do with it. When I was in high school I noticed that many of the nice girls seemed to be drawn to the bad boys, but now many years after, looks like most settled down with a nice guy.
IMO perhaps it's because the "bad boys" are instinctively seen as physically dominant and worthy to physically procreate with, and the "nice guys" are later seen as the "stable" ones and worthy to settle down with?
 

The Sum of Awe

Brought to you by the moment that spacetime began.
Staff member
Premium Member
I always imagined that the saying is usually true, but of course not for all women. But it's less to do with the face they are reckless or because of their rebellious nature; it just so happens that a lot of the people that commercialize their ego and are more out there are also reckless. While folks that are less 'bad' and more respectful more often than not are humble.

Another thing is, recklessness is one of the many forms independence can take, and independence is an attractive trait, it generally shows skill, dominance, protective, etc. It sounds stupid when I say it like that but, dig down deep enough and I'm sure you'll find that at some point, we're still tied to animalistic sexual instincts.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
I've read that women prefer more masculine, rugged "bad boy" types during the peak of ovulation, but that they wouldn't choose them as companions. So they may prefer the "bad boys" for genes or just purely for sex, but it's the "nice guys" they want to spend their life with since they provide stability.
 

Aquitaine

Well-Known Member
I've read that women prefer more masculine, rugged "bad boy" types during the peak of ovulation, but that they wouldn't choose them as companions. So they may prefer the "bad boys" for genes or just purely for sex, but it's the "nice guys" they want to spend their life with since they provide stability.
Which if true is incredibly selfish in my opinion.
 

freethinker44

Well-Known Member
http://www.iflscience.com/brain/do-women-really-go-bad-boys-here-s-science-settles-question/all/

Apparently, despite the fact that some women may prefer bad boys to nice guys, most women prefer nice guys to bad boys -- even to the extent of perceiving nice guys as more physically attractive than jerks.
They tested the wrong thing.
The stereotype goes women say they want a nice guy but only date jerks.
This study just proves that women do indeed say they want nice guys.
They need to look at the men women date rather than the men they say they want to date to test this properly.
 

MD

qualiaphile
I've read that women prefer more masculine, rugged "bad boy" types during the peak of ovulation, but that they wouldn't choose them as companions. So they may prefer the "bad boys" for genes or just purely for sex, but it's the "nice guys" they want to spend their life with since they provide stability.

This is pretty much it. As women age preference moves from bad boy to powerful man. There's a lot of game theory as well, which includes looks, resources and physique. As a woman ages she will settle for a nice guy because her fertility options are running out fast.

If she can choose between a good looking nice guy vs an ugly nice guy she'll choose the good looking nice guy. If it's between a good looking nice guy and an ugly bad boy it's a toss up. But during ovulation there's always a preference for more masculine, powerful, dominating alphas. If she settles for an alpha then when she's not ovulating she will want a nice guy. It's why women are so hard to figure out for most men, because we've been taught monogamy is the default state. It's not.

As men age their sexual power grows, as long as they don't get obese. A 40 year old man with wealth and a good physique has the same sexual power as a 20 year old woman. If he maintains his physique and wealth, he could maintain his sexual value till his 50s.

A woman's sexual peak is in her 20s. A man's fertility starts to decline in his 40s but he can theoretically have kids till he dies. It's why you see far more old Western men with young Asian wives than old Western women with young African husbands.
 

Saint Frankenstein

Here for the ride
Premium Member
This is pretty much it. As women age preference moves from bad boy to powerful man. There's a lot of game theory as well, which includes looks, resources and physique. As a woman ages she will settle for a nice guy because her fertility options are running out fast.

If she can choose between a good looking nice guy vs an ugly nice guy she'll choose the good looking nice guy. If it's between a good looking nice guy and an ugly bad boy it's a toss up. But during ovulation there's always a preference for more masculine, powerful, dominating alphas. If she settles for an alpha then when she's not ovulating she will want a nice guy. It's why women are so hard to figure out for most men, because we've been taught monogamy is the default state. It's not.

As men age their sexual power grows, as long as they don't get obese. A 40 year old man with wealth and a good physique has the same sexual power as a 20 year old woman. If he maintains his physique and wealth, he could maintain his sexual value till his 50s.

A woman's sexual peak is in her 20s. A man's fertility starts to decline in his 40s but he can theoretically have kids till he dies. It's why you see far more old Western men with young Asian wives than old Western women with young African husbands.
That's too simplistic and generalized to really be applicable to humans. Or any species, really. A lot of what you said is really based on social constructs, not anything biologically innate. What is considered "ugly" and "attractive" vary by era, culture and individual. Same for what is considered "masculine" or "feminine". Even your example of old white guys with young East Asian women is based on classist, racist stereotypes.

Monogamy isn't necessarily the "default", but humans do have a tendency to form pair bonds. Human children also require a lot of resources, both material and in terms of time, to raise and care for so a woman who sleeps with the most seemingly "dominate" man for purely superficial reasons, who then will leave her and then literally go jump on some other woman and knock her up in turn, is at a disadvantage when it comes to the children they may have together.

Look at Donald Trump, who has been married multiple times, has children from multiple women and is a known philanderer. In terms of human society, that's actually maladaptive and unfavorable for the children's psychological well-being, despite having relative material wealth. Children simply do the best in environments where both parents are committed to their rearing and provide a stable home environment. Polygamy is actually correlated with numerous social ills, such as oppression of women, overpopulation, high violent crime rates, social breakdown and chaos, child neglect and abuse, etc. Monogamy, at least in terms of people being free to form pair bonds with each other and to raise children together, is shown to have much better outcomes than for a male to hoard women in a harem or whatever.

Also, the traits of men like Trump, who are often held to be "alpha males", are actually counterproductive to them being good fathers, husbands and providers. They often are highly narcissistic, non-cooperative, irresponsible and inclined towards violence and recklessness.

For most of human history, we lived in small clan groups that were based on cooperation and not dominance and submission. The clans had to work together to survive. There wasn't one or a few males dominating everything. Couples would have children together and they were raised by them, along with the rest of the clan, which was their extended family.

The "alpha male" concept doesn't even exist in wild wolves, which is where the concept was erroneously inferred from. Wolves in the wild live as a family unit, with both parents raising the pups. When the pups are old enough, they're to go off and form their own family unit. Among primates, the situation is complicated, because different primate species follow different reproductive strategies.

http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/the_myth_of_the_alpha_male
 
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Sunstone

De Diablo Del Fora
Premium Member
Seems like age may have something to do with it. When I was in high school I noticed that many of the nice girls seemed to be drawn to the bad boys, but now many years after, looks like most settled down with a nice guy.

You might be on to something there. I've noticed the same thing.
 
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