Do You Bow Your Head?

[Jainarayan]

I do what others do out of respect for them and their tradition. Someone else's religious house or venue is not the place to make a statement that I don't follow their religion. My family is Roman Catholic, I am the only one who is not. Given that, I don't have much choice except to attend their events. At funerals, christenings and weddings I do what they do, with the exception of genuflecting and the sign of the cross. Though I will make a reverent acknowledgement when I enter the church. It is after all, the house of someone's God, and won't kill me to do so. Just as I'd expect them to be reverent in my temple and at least give a cursory namaskar to the deities.

 

[Politesse]

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.

As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.

I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

Doing so strikes me as a basic, fundamental gesture of respect. If someone is a guest in my house, I expect them to make an effort to follow our rules and practices and would find it rude if they did not. So unless I am in my own house, I "do as the Romans do" in all cases.

 

[Kenny]

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.

As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.

I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.

That's a great mature view of things and very magnanimous of you! I'm a Christian but don't necessarily bow my head.

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

not at all

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

I wouldn't take it as an "attempt to embarrass me". If I went to a Jewish event and they wanted me to wear a yarmulke, I don't think it is so much as they want to embarrass me as much as they are asking me to respect their custom/culture.

Much like taking your shoes off, in a home of a Japanese family.

Now, if their only desire was to embarrass me, that would be a different story. But i think that would be the exception.

 

[Segev Moran]

I think that asking someone to give a public prayer while some people find it not to their liking is a bit rude.

On the other hand, its just a prayer and i think people should be more accepting and patience towards others.

But try and think if it was something else instead of a prayer.
Lets say if this father asked someone to say a Satan glorifying prayer. would you consider it the same?
How about a prayer for the mighty Zeus?

I find it a bit un-thoughtful from the girl's father to ask a mass prayer without taking into consideration other people who might find it even offensive at times.

 

[Segev Moran]

Doing so strikes me as a basic, fundamental gesture of respect. If someone is a guest in my house, I expect them to make an effort to follow our rules and practices and would find it rude if they did not. So unless I am in my own house, I "do as the Romans do" in all cases.

If someone is a guest in your house its another thing.
But the OP didn't say that, he was asking about a public event probably in the school's court?

 

[stvdv]

13 jun 2018 stvdv 011 22

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.
As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.
I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.
Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?
Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

Not totally sure what you meant.
I know it is your daughter and probably also of your ex-wife. If you mean that the new husband of you ex-wife made "this gesture = asking for this prayer" and if it were in your house, without asking you first, I would find it very inappropriate of him. But if it were in your ex-wife's house then it's oke.

I think it's best to follow the rules from the house. I prefer to pray in silence. Others need not wait, be silent or see me pray. Not their business.

 

[SalixIncendium]

Not totally sure what you meant.
I know it is your daughter and probably also of your ex-wife. If you mean that the new husband of you ex-wife made "this gesture = asking for this prayer" and if it were in your house, without asking you first, I would find it very inappropriate of him. But if it were in your ex-wife's house then it's oke.

I think it's best to follow the rules from the house. I prefer to pray in silence. Others need not wait, be silent or see me pray. Not their business.

It was actually in a rented hall, so in neutral territory.

 

[stvdv]

13 jun 2018 stvdv 011 23

It was actually in a rented hall, so in neutral territory.

Aha. Interesting situation. I think it is between you and your ex-wife and your daughter. So the new husband should stay out of it. Maybe he could discuss with your ex-wife and then she could ask you if you are fine with it. Unless your wife arranged everything and paid for it also [or if he is like the father since the last 17 years or so]. But even then I think it would be nice of her to talk with you about it IMO.

 

[Jumi]

Never been in a situation like that, that I can remember. Not even my more religious great-grandmother made us pray over food. I can't remember if Christian summer camp where I had to go as teen had that sort of thing, but I doubt it. I'd probably try to go with it if it happened. No need to spoil someone's mood over nothing.

 

[SalixIncendium]

But try and think if it was something else instead of a prayer.
Lets say if this father asked someone to say a Satan glorifying prayer. would you consider it the same?
How about a prayer for the mighty Zeus?

It's interesting that you bring this up. I offered up a very pagan eulogy at my elder daughter's service back when I self-identified as Pagan, and everyone bowed their heads as I spoke. No one batted an eye, most likely out of respect for my daughter and her father who had just suffered a grave loss.

I find it a bit un-thoughtful from the girl's father to ask a mass prayer without taking into consideration other people who might find it even offensive at times.

It was the girl's step-father who asked the pastor to lead the group in prayer. I'm the girl's father.

But since you bring it up, I struggle to understand why some people might find a prayer before a meal offensive. It gives those who are involved solace and doesn't speak ill of non-believers. Is 30 seconds of one's life so valuable to where s/he would be offended?

 

[GoodbyeDave]

Grace is rather rare in England, even when the diners are Christian. I wouldn't respond, but I can't understand those who take offence. I can rember when I was an undergraduate and we all stood while some-one recited grace: Benedic nos Domine et dona tua... I'd still find that a nice reminder of our history.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.

As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.

I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

I don't bow my head, kneel or say prayers. Seems disingenuous. But I have no issue with those that do, and it doesn't make me uncomfortable.

 

[robocop (actually)]

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.

As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.

I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

I haven't bowed my head for 15 years and I don't like to excuse myself.

 

[Thief]

Could you like, spare us all the inappropriate elipses, and write normal sentences?

I used to post in paragraph....

I'm even MORE difficult to read when I do that

 

[TheBannerofHomuraAkemi]

At my daughter's graduation party, my ex-wife's husband (who is a devout Christian) asked a guest who is a pastor at his church to lead a prayer before food was served.

As the prayer began, I glanced around to room to see who was listening, who had their head bowed, and who had the expression of, "Is it almost over?" written on their faces.

I'm not a Christian, and while I don't bow my head, I'm not bothered or offended by others' needs for an invocation before a meal or other sort of event.

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

My family is very religious and since I'm an invited guess, I bow and close my eyes just to be polite. That's all.

 

[Unveiled Artist]

Are you seriously suggesting others change their posting behaviors to accommodate you?

I find it arrogant to suggest that someone change how they write just for you. Read him or keep scrolling. Your choice.

Its distracting like having yellow highlighted text. Whether the person accepts the advice is their choice. Its advice not a command.

*cough*

Amen.

 

[Sunstone]

There is an element of arrogant disregard for others
implicit in prose that shows no effort at clear
communication, is there not?

Good point! I'm a staunch advocate of the human right to express oneself however one sees fit (so long as it both harms no one, and at least has the theoretical potential to irritate Donald Trump), but I have to admit, you have a point there.

I'd soften your message by leaving out the "arrogant" though, not on the grounds that anything requires you to soften it, but because it's so darn hard being sure of someone's actual motive(s) in writing in a hard to understand style.

For instance, in bars, I have long been in the habit of asking ladies if I can buy them a drink in such convoluted sentences that while they are still saying things like, "Why no! I mean, yes! I mean maybe! I mean, what the hell do you mean?" I'm already back with a nice cocktail for them. But my motive is not arrogance, but an exceedingly profound fear of rejection, combined with an astute appreciation of just how suave and cool I must look to them when I pop up at their elbow, cocktail in hand.

 

[Sunstone]

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

Great question! One that most likely everyone has had some practical experience with. I don't usually stand on principle in such situations, but rather go where my mood suits me. But I don't see any reason why someone should feel morally or decently obligated to go along with the crowd -- other than Audie's notion that, at least in some circumstances (I'm thinking mainly solemn, highly emotional occasions, such as funerals), it shows respect for others to do so.

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

I would take offense if someone tried to shame me into compliance with their wishes -- even at funerals. At best, such shaming is no better than my non-compliance. That is, non-compliance versus shaming -- neither one of us has the moral high ground.

 

[outlawState]

Do you feel it is disrespectful for someone of a different faith or no faith at all to not remove their hat or bow their head during a prayer or invocation?

For a man not to remove his hat in prayer incurs, to my mind, the penalty of excommunication latae sententiae, at least until they change their mind about it.

For a woman not to be hatted or veiled in prayer incurs to my mind, that both her husband should incur the penalty of excommunication latae sententiae, at least until they change their mind about it.

I'm not sure why bowing the head is appropriate during a prayer or invocation. Who is there to bow down to? An idol?

Do you feel disrespected if someone attempts to embarrass you into making this gesture if you don't follow that specific religion?

If I didn't follow that specific religion, I would not give a toss. I would never follow a custom of a religion that I did not personally espouse.

 

[stvdv]

14 jun 2018 stvdv 011 25

I do what others do out of respect for them and their tradition. Someone else's religious house or venue is not the place to make a statement that I don't follow their religion. My family is Roman Catholic, I am the only one who is not. Given that, I don't have much choice except to attend their events. At funerals, christenings and weddings I do what they do, with the exception of genuflecting and the sign of the cross. Though I will make a reverent acknowledgement when I enter the church. It is after all, the house of someone's God, and won't kill me to do so. Just as I'd expect them to be reverent in my temple and at least give a cursory namaskar to the deities.

Thanks for sharing. I believe every "belief system" has somewhere "Love" as the main key to reach God. So all are potential ways to reach the goal "whatever that may be". So I will never belittle the faith of others. I visited a church, afterwards they asked me about my "background" religiously speaking. I answered that I follow a guru in india, like they follow their guru Jesus. They went full judgmental and demeaning in seconds.

At that point I found it very healthy and good, giving their remarks to tell them "the truth" in their "house". You judge/demean my faith, so you are not a Christian IMO. But I also decided from this experiment to strongly avoid judgmental and demeaning Christians believing "Jesus is the ONLY way for all".