Do you need help?

[Geoff-Allen]

We are living in a very troubled world. Many people need help to cope with difficult personal problems.

Maybe you might like to post your problems and concerns. Then myself or other forum members could offer you some kindly advice and a few words of encouragement.

Many people have little or no emotional support in their darkest times. I was more fortunate than them. So I would like to do all I can in my own small way to help if I can.

Call me crazy but I really DO believe in the power of love to transform lives. I don't believe I am "special" in any way. I truly believe we all have the SAME potential. We just haven't yet worked out how most people can reach their FULL potential. But things may be slowly changing ...

I am certainly not arrogant enough to believe that I have ALL the answers! But I may be able to direct you to some very helpful books and Internet resources.

Where there is life there is hope. I am living proof that nobody is a hopeless case. I was a borderline Psychopath for many years. If you had suggested to me that one day I would get RIGHT into meditation and reading books like "The Power of Now" and treating everyone with kindness and compassion ... well ... I would have absolutely laughed in your face!

So please feel free to tell me anything. I promise you cannot POSSIBLY shock me! Whatever darkness you may be experiencing, I have experienced the same or much worse. I promise I won't judge you or anything like that.

If you feel like sharing your problems, I am all ears. Sometimes I am far more inspired and compassionate than at other times so don't expect "instant wisdom" all the time. I may need to dwell on your problem for a while until I can come up with a few recommendations.

Many people do not really love themselves nearly enough. It can be a major source of personal problems and unhappiness. This is an issue that I wrestled with for many years so I know just how frustrating & distressing it can be!

Here is a site that may help you -

Self-love and Acceptance with Lori Deschene from TinyBuddha.com (Part 1) - Becoming Who You Are

This is one of the better happiness sites I have found -

https://positivepsychlopedia.com/year-of-happy/

Anyway, I sincerely wish you all the very best and I look forward to some interesting replies!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

It has been pointed out to me that this thread may be an unwise move - since this is an open forum anyone who reads this thread is free to offer their advice. Not all advice is terribly sound. So you may need to wade through a lot of "nonsense" to arrive at the good stuff.

I must admit - it SURE is a crucial and puzzling question - how does ANYONE ever decide what advice to follow? There are myriad points-of-view in this amazing and expanding universe. What makes my advice any better than anyone else's?

We all tend to believe that our way is the "right" way - no matter how many people may hold the opposite opinion/belief!

Maybe I am over-thinking this just a bit ...

So please be patient while I share a few more thoughts/doubts ...

Just who amongst us IS qualified to advise others? We are all flawed & imperfect. We all mess up from time to time. We are all evolving - it just seems that some of us are evolving a little faster than the rest.

Very few of us can manage to be kind & compassionate all-the-time.

Maybe I am totally delusional to assume that my experiences qualify me to advise other people who are in the same boat that I used to be in?

Just because I have experienced a rather miraculous transformation doesn't necessarily mean that I have the power to assist others to transform their lives.

I would say that MANY people are secretly yearning for a miraculous transformation to end their suffering.

So, I promise to give it my best shot if you tell me your problems!

Anyway ... if joy is any criterion, then I must be doin somethin right! It almost feels miraculous that I have been able to emerge from that darkness with most of my marbles!

My current experience is WAY beyond anything I would have dared dream possible at one stage!

I really do wish I could find a way to make my joy more contagious!

I won't lie to you - life can seem monstrously unfair to many people. I often wonder why I have been so blessed while many are suffering terribly. Maybe it is karma or something like that? Sometimes it mystifies me completely!

Anyways, enough philosophising. If you still trust me to advise you, feel free to ask me anything at all. I can't necessarily guarantee you a similar miracle but you just ever know what can happen in this life!

In the meantime, I sincerely wish you true peace of mind and every happiness - no matter how far away they may seem from your current predicament!

 

[Buddha Dharma]

I think your intention is good and pure.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

I think your intention is good and pure.

Thanks for your confidence!

Only time will tell if I am lousy at trying to solve people's problems despite my vast experience of personal human suffering ...

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Just surfing ... found this -

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

“A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy.

”It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Wishing you all the best!

 

[YmirGF]

Thanks for your confidence!

Only time will tell if I am lousy at trying to solve people's problems despite my vast experience of personal human suffering ...

Cheers!

I agree. You are a gentle soul and frankly, that approach needs a greater voice.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

I agree. You are a gentle soul and frankly, that approach needs a greater voice.

I wasn't always so gentle - far from it! - so I know what extreme suffering is like and how distressing it can be and how you wish for a "miracle" to end the suffering.

It still amazes and mystifies me to this day so I try to always count my blessings.

Thanks for the input!

 

[YmirGF]

I wasn't always so gentle - far from it! - so I know what extreme suffering is like and how distressing it can be and how you wish for a "miracle" to end the suffering.

It still amazes and mystifies me to this day so I try to always count my blessings.

Thanks for the input!

You have the "good fortune" of being able to relate to more people than someone like myself. I've always been placid and well balanced. I can theorize, whereas you can see directly, as the more negative things are simply not a part of my experience. I don't regret that I have been so fortunate, but it is a problem relating to people who have experienced considerable discordance in their lives. Fortunately, I was served up an extra large portion of empathy, so I can cope, at least indirectly.

When exploring things with other folks, I normally shut up, listen and just let them tell me their story, after which, if they want my thoughts, I'll offer a diplomatic half way version of what I am thinking and what they are likely wanting to hear.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

You have to good fortune of being able to relate to more people than someone like myself. I've always been placid and well balanced. I can theorize, whereas you can see directly, as the more negative things are simply not a part of my experience. I don't regret that I have been so fortunate, but it is a problem relating to people who have experienced considerable discordance in their lives. Fortunately, I was served up an extra large portion of empathy, so I can cope, at least indirectly.

Yes - you would have REALLY struggled to convince me I was "fortunate" at one stage!

The anger I experienced bordered on insanity and I never thought it would end ...

So far my ability to advise people hasn't really been tested - part of me is very relieved that I didn't give anyone unrealistic or lousy advice!

And my time on this computer is coming to an end sooon ...

Cheers!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Sadly, I must log-off this computer very soon.

I ought to be back online this time tomorrow all going well.

In the meantime, here's a few sites you may find helpful -

I'm a HUGE believer in compassion - a far-cry from the way I used to think! -

A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life, With 7 Practices : zen habits

21 Habits of Happy People | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself Interview: Hannah Braime

Dealing with Uncomfortable Feelings & Creating Positive Ones

Self-Compassion Opens The Door To Self-Healing

It’s Not Mindfulness Without Kindness

101 Ways to Love Your Life

depression - YouTube

marci shimoff - YouTube

Kindness Archives - Tiny Buddha

Fun & Inspiring Archives - Tiny Buddha

lorna byrne - YouTube

I have loads more but that is plenty for the moment ...

Wishing you ALL the very best!

 

[TransmutingSoul]

In the meantime, I sincerely wish you true peace of mind and every happiness - no matter how far away they

And us to you as well

Regards Tony

 

[TransmutingSoul]

Thanks for your confidence!

Only time will tell if I am lousy at trying to solve people's problems despite my vast experience of personal human suffering ...

Cheers!

We can always help, that is what life is all about, the offer, then the action to back the offer.no matter what form that may take.

Regards Tony

 

[Sunstone]

This is very nice of you, @Geoff-Allen! Let's hope it helps someone!

 

[Mock Turtle]

Sadly, I must log-off this computer very soon.

I ought to be back online this time tomorrow all going well.

In the meantime, here's a few sites you may find helpful -

I'm a HUGE believer in compassion - a far-cry from the way I used to think! -

A Guide to Cultivating Compassion in Your Life, With 7 Practices : zen habits

21 Habits of Happy People | PickTheBrain | Motivation and Self Improvement

Tiny Buddha’s Guide to Loving Yourself Interview: Hannah Braime

Dealing with Uncomfortable Feelings & Creating Positive Ones

Self-Compassion Opens The Door To Self-Healing

It’s Not Mindfulness Without Kindness

101 Ways to Love Your Life

depression - YouTube

marci shimoff - YouTube

Kindness Archives - Tiny Buddha

Fun & Inspiring Archives - Tiny Buddha

lorna byrne - YouTube

I have loads more but that is plenty for the moment ...

Wishing you ALL the very best!

With you on the compassion aspect - something that is all too readily rationed, regardless of one's religious views or lack of them.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

This is very nice of you, @Geoff-Allen! Let's hope it helps someone!

Thanks for the support.

Believe it or not I am genuinely ambivalent. Part of me thinks that this thread is a lousy idea as I am NOT a trained therapist at all! Many people have very difficult personal problems that they struggle with and my heart goes out to them as I know what a struggle life can be at times.

Sometimes I feel I should just forget about trying to "save the world" and just enjoy my good fortune. I have a tendency to get very "evangelical" at times - it's just one of my many quirks!

I may post a bit more - a couple of book recommendations that I have personally found helpful ...

Thanks again!

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Here's the book I mentioned -

I have read MANY helpful books over my life's journey. Some better than others.

One book I can highly recommend is "Happy for no reason" by Marci Shimoff.

Happiness may seem like an impossible dream for some of you right now. I know what that feels like, believe me. But change is possible - sometimes change can be relatively rapid but usually it takes time & effort & patience. Things can be frustrating when change happens slowly but it is possible.

Basically, the book is a step-by-step guide to changing your habits in every area of your life. You may not regard your thinking as habitual but negative thinking is nothing more than a bad habit that can be changed. That is what meditation and mindfulness are all about - disciplining the mind.

I never thought I would EVER be the type of person to practice meditation so you never know what might happen in your life!

Changing your thoughts is just one of the seven chapters in the book. Each chapter includes three inspiring stories about how people were able to transform their experience from misery to joy. I have read this book several times and I find it most helpful. Hopefully you will also benefit from reading it and practicing the suggestions.

If you don't fancy purchasing the book, you can find Marci on YouTube -

marci shimoff - YouTube

I sincerely wish you all the best!

 

[savagewind]

Marci Shimoff teaches the universe is on my side for good. Good point!

Also, forgiveness opens up the energy in life.

 

[Geoff-Allen]

Marci Shimoff teaches the universe is on my side for good. Good point!

May be hard to swallow for some people when they are experiencing tough times ... I would have scoffed at that suggestion most of my life!

Thanks for sharing!

 

[savagewind]

Marci Shimoff teaches the universe is on my side for good. Good point!

Also, forgiveness opens up the energy in life.

She teaches:

Saying in yourself.

I'm sorry
Please forgive me
Thank you
I love you

 

[Geoff-Allen]

I'm sorry

Yes - that's a big one for me - I have done a LOT of crazy things!

Cheers.