Do you regret studying what you ended up studying?

[JustGeorge]

My best friend in childhood never had a bedroom, or a bed. She grew up sleeping on the couch. It was not an unusual situation.

I had a friend with a brother that did that. The 4 girls got the bedroom, their parents had their own, and he slept on a couch in the dining room. He didn't seem bothered by it. Better than sharing a room with his sisters.

My ESL students have been amazed at our societal living, but they've adjusted quickly. Only a year ago they had difficulty understanding why I lived alone, and each of my sons lives alone. But I hear how they are beginning to truly appreciate the privacy of having their own rooms in their shared accommodations, and some are beginning to move into their own "place."

There are advantages, and disadvantages, and just being honest with what you want. I had a lot of people that seemed unable to understand that I actually desired a roommate during the single parenting years. I enjoyed the company of another adult.

Its okay to want a house all to yourself. Its also okay to enjoy living in a multi-generational home.

That is the blessing in living within your means.

Yes. . .keeping up with the Joneses.

I grew up firmly middle class, and I didn't find our home happy because of it. I had poor friends who had happier homes. It seemed to matter more of the love that was within the home rather than the money.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

This is part of the point, really. I believe all life is about sacrifice and selflessness. You know, to the Jesus degree

Sure, I'm just suggesting it's a position that requires more than an individual decision.

 

[Rival]

Sure, I'm just suggesting it's a position that requires more than an individual decision.

I would argue there's not really any such thing as an individual decision, but I digress; we're off-topic.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I think it might actually depend on your income bracket/earnings as to whether or not its a sacrifice.

Where I am, the cost of childcare would have been quite close to what I was bringing in at my old job.

Sure, but that's why I said 'can' rather than does, and then further refined it to be more about mutual prioritisation.

The fiscal impact is a major portion of this quite often. Your decision, for example, might have been fiscally neutral, but the assessment of that, the impact of childcare reform or rising costs, availability, etc all still are embedded there somewhere.

But I wasn't only talking about fiscal impacts. Once my wife and I decided one of us was staying home, there was the decision of who. I know for some that seems a ridiculous notion, and we are traditional enough that it was unlikely to be me. But ultimately it was my relative earning potential vs my wife that removed the choice. There was no opportunity for me to be the stay at home parent.

For my wife part of the sacrifice wasn't around immediate money, since childcare is expensive and somewhat offsets her pay. But there were implications for her mental health (both good and bad), social opportunities, future promotions, etc.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I would argue there's not really any such thing as an individual decision, but I digress; we're off-topic.

Ha!
I agree to a point, but this is an explicit decision made by couples almost always, so beyond merely external impacting factors which effect all decisions.

 

[Spice]

But there were implications for her mental health (both good and bad), social opportunities, future promotions, etc.

....the ability to have an intellectually adult conversation. Stay-at-home parents really and truly need to belong to some type of out-of-the-home social activity that does not involve the children -- like book clubs.

 

[Sgt. Pepper]

No, because I enjoy learning new things and have a wide variety of interests. This has always been very beneficial for me as a stay-at-home mom. I've also been homeschooling for nearly nineteen years. I've always been quite eclectic when it comes to learning on my own and teaching my children at home.