Do Your Beliefs Match Those of Your Significant Other?

[Onkara]

there is such a thing as respecting each other's beliefs. go to another room and shut the door.

True, but how long can we sustain a relationship through a closed door.

This isn't a debate thread, so please don't think I am challenging you, but rather sharing ideas based on why the question arises. The non-religious partner or a partner of different faith may have to be very open to religion or different faiths, for that reason this is a topic for further consideration. Perhaps Lunamoth will share their reasoning for the OP.

 

[sniper762]

onkara, you say True, but how long can we sustain a relationship through a closed door.

one would hope at least long enough to finish chanting

just sharing my ideas

 

[Onkara]

onkara, you say True, but how long can we sustain a relationship through a closed door.

one would hope at least long enough to finish chanting

just sharing my ideas

that is a good and logical answer.

Then like most things in a relationship it seems to come down to mutual respect and "give and take". I didn't notice anyone saying they have serious issues, above, so it cannot be much of a problem.

 

[Friday]

It's like clothes or hair do....whatever....i don't have to wear his clothes or fix my hair lile his.

I'm a pAW and he is more a skeptic agnostic and taoist.

We have been married to each other for thirty years and never fought.

 

[Vorinn]

why should it matter?

If it really is just a matter of closing the door and chanting, then maybe it doesn't matter what your partner believes. But what if you decide that you need to donate 10% of your income to the church? Or make a pilgrimage to Mecca? Keep a kosher kitchen? Those could be hard things for a nonreligious partner, or someone of a different religion, to accept. Lots of religions have restrictions on sex, which obviously would affect your partner.

And if you are relatively insecure about your beliefs, even little things can feel like something a partner might disapprove of. What if s/he hears me chanting and thinks it's stupid? If I start going to church, s/he can't sleep in on Sundays anymore and might not like that. If I tell them that I don't believe in God, are they going to think I'm going to Hell? Would they not want to be with me anymore? Things like that can and do affect a relationship, even if they seem small to an outside observer.

 

[sniper762]

thats where partners getting to know one another comes into play. one's religious beliefs are part of who they are, subject to acceptance or rejection by a prospective partner.

once committed to partnership, that acceptance should already have been made.

 

[Vorinn]

thats where partners getting to know one another comes into play. one's religious beliefs are part of who they are, subject to acceptance or rejection by a prospective partner.

once committed to partnership, that acceptance should already have been made.

Sure, but what happens if your beliefs change over time? Or theirs do? If one of you converts to a different religion? Or if one becomes much more devout, and the other much less?

 

[sniper762]

if the partnership was originally strong, it can adapt, if not then it could suffer just as if any other personal traight imerged that could damage the weak relationship.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

there is such a thing as respecting each other's beliefs. go to another room and shut the door.

Is that respect? I'm not sure it's really "respect" to ignore an important aspect of one's partner.

 

[Skwim]

Is that respect? I'm not sure it's really "respect" to ignore an important aspect of one's partner.

Perhaps that's what the partner wants. Not everyone needs validation or support of their beliefs from their partner.

 

[no-body]

Sort-of we both agree belief is an intensely, personal, private thing that can be shared but it's not a big deal if we don't agree or even if we do. It's not who either of "us" are anymore than the music we like, movies, etc are "us"

We can agree that today's society has an unhealthy fixation on wanting to be the labels it applies to itself rather than just being and that's all the belief we need even if we disagreed on everything.

 

[Kathryn]

Poll to be posted.

If you have a spouse, partner, or significant other, do you share the same beliefs about God and religion?

Basically, yes, though our applications can differ.

If you are both religious, do you follow the same religion?

Yes.

Have your religious beliefs, or those of your partner, changed since you have been together?

Not significantly. I think as we learn and grow, our beliefs can shift to some extent (and they should) - but our basic tenets of religious belief have not changed in the six years we have been together.

If your partner's beliefs were to change, either from religious to non-religious or the other way around, would you be OK with this?

If you mean "OK" - would I leave him? No, not unless he wanted us to separate. I would be sad though, that we had lost something which was beautifully common ground between us.

It would really depend on how he applied his new belief system to his actions, attitudes and behaviors.

Beliefs are nothing but hot air - it's the application which matters.

 

[sojourner]

My wife and I are blessed enough to be on the same page spiritually. My first wife and I were not. She's evangelical. I'm liberal. Been to both places and bought the T-shirt. I can definitely say that being on the same page is much better.

 

[sojourner]

We're both Born Again Pedestrians.

"I like feet...I do not know why."

 

[sojourner]

We're both Born Again Pedestrians.

Soooo...
I guess "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss is your holy text?

 

[sojourner]

Does this mean you both worship the cross .....



...walk?

It means that, in their practice, they really have to toe the line!

 

[sojourner]

It's a religion I once invented to meet a requirement of Good Samaritan Hospital in Baltimore (for surgery on a broken leg).
We're big on immediate gratification.

Well, I'm glad someone finally put their foot down in response to the waiting game!

 

[sojourner]

A broken leg? So you were a lapsed pedestrian, then.

Yes. He was forced to walk around in circles.

 

[Yerda]

That was an extraordinary run of bad jokes. Well done, man!

I'm not religious, neither is she. We were both raised as Catholics. We're both veggie. The only reason I'm sure we're not the same person is that she likes vampire fiction.

 

[SageTree]

All things have changed and wavered over time in our relationship and in our selves, but Buddhism tends to be our middle ground, no pun on middle.