I don't. My coping resources ran out a while ago and I want to just end things at this point.
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Dreading Days
- Thread starter JustGeorge
- Start date
Try to find joy within the darkness. This isn't about being optimistic, as much as still doing something small that makes you happy. Whether that's paying attention to a pretty sunset. Or just a (happy) smile from one of your boys.
This can make the darker times at least more tolerable.
Well.... Don't. I won't give you any platitudes as to why not. Just. I don't think it's a good Path to walk.
I'm not always the nicest person to argue with. But if you need to talk/vent, or maybe even advice. Feel free to reach out.
RestlessSoul
Well-Known Member
Please don’t do that. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly, things always turn around.
Alien826
No religious beliefs
Also Ralph and Huey. Then there's "on the great white phone to God" (head in the toilet bowl, saying 'Oh God!').
Shouting for Hueyeee
Viker
Your beloved eccentric Auntie Cristal
I have days I dread. For the most part I get excited in the morning. More so as I am moving into semi-retirement. I may even retire early which gets me more stoked.
I think it's got a lot to do with owning motorcycles and not afraid to ride them all the time. I live almost inside a forest and can go for a hike or bicycle ride whenever. I never get tired of a forest or winding back roads.
If you live near a forest, explore it.
If you live near an ocean/lake, enjoy it.
Sometimes, just drop what ever it is you're doing or abandon (briefly) wherever you are and get away (let loved ones know what's happening or any plans).
I think it's got a lot to do with owning motorcycles and not afraid to ride them all the time. I live almost inside a forest and can go for a hike or bicycle ride whenever. I never get tired of a forest or winding back roads.
If you live near a forest, explore it.
If you live near an ocean/lake, enjoy it.
Sometimes, just drop what ever it is you're doing or abandon (briefly) wherever you are and get away (let loved ones know what's happening or any plans).
Spice
StewardshipPeaceIntergityCommunityEquality
Hugging the porcelain throne, tossing your cookies, etc. Say "earl" long and slow a few times. LOL
rocala
Well-Known Member
Praying at the porcelain font and barking carrots.
Spice
StewardshipPeaceIntergityCommunityEquality
@JustGeorge , if I remember correctly you have a home situation that greatly limits what you can do for yourself when you hit these phases. I'm glad you don't have to call earl often.
The pediatric nurses knew where they'd find me once I was told my little one was doing well in recovery. After my talk with earl, I could put my momma hat back on and be ready for his getting back to the room. After so many years of having to be the keystone, it doesn't cut off in other situations.
As I've gotten older and I've lost so many family members, it almost goes without saying, my eldest son will remind me to let him know "when" to pull over as he takes me home after yet another funeral. I know the ditches close to home well, as I never seem to get there in time. LOL
I will say, having a support person that just "knows" is a tremendous help. I had two -- my oldest brother, now gone, and my oldest son who would get out of his bed at night to talk to his baby brother and wipe his face with a cool cloth as I did what needed to be done, at three years old. The same one that knows my favorite ditches. LOL
Saw this earlier and thought of you:
The pediatric nurses knew where they'd find me once I was told my little one was doing well in recovery. After my talk with earl, I could put my momma hat back on and be ready for his getting back to the room. After so many years of having to be the keystone, it doesn't cut off in other situations.
As I've gotten older and I've lost so many family members, it almost goes without saying, my eldest son will remind me to let him know "when" to pull over as he takes me home after yet another funeral. I know the ditches close to home well, as I never seem to get there in time. LOL
I will say, having a support person that just "knows" is a tremendous help. I had two -- my oldest brother, now gone, and my oldest son who would get out of his bed at night to talk to his baby brother and wipe his face with a cool cloth as I did what needed to be done, at three years old. The same one that knows my favorite ditches. LOL
Saw this earlier and thought of you:
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
People always say that perhaps based upon their own experience but I don't think things always turn around for everyone.
I have a few good days or parts of days but my life in general is a constant struggle and there has been no turnaround.
It is all a matter of coping, I do not expect any major improvements.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I am not a morning person and I have so much to do when I wake up, so many chores because of all the indoor and outdoor animals..
After that I have work on my four work days.
I do not get excited about retirement. I could have retired over six years ago because I do not need the money I get from working, but I have no reason to retire, no plans and nobody to spend time with, so I just keep working. I may work till the day I die, I don't know.
My future is not looking very good if things keep going on this way. I have nothing to look forward to and no reason to think that will change. All I have that I love are my cats but that is a double-edged sword since I can only look forward to losing them. It is not supposed to be this way. People have families so even if their spouse dies they have other family and grandchildren.
My late husband had two motorcycles while we were married but after the second one got totaled and he walked away without a scratch I said no more and he agreed.
My house is not inside a forest but it is surrounded by trees and there are tall trees all around the area so I go on walks and look at the trees. and listen to the trains.
Praying to the porcelain Gods
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I hear you. Life has never been great for me but it is all relative because it has been and it could be worse.
What I can control I try to do something about, like repairs on the houses or taking cats to the vet, but most of what is wrong in my life is outside of my control, like finding myself alone with no husband, so I have to keep trudging along alone.
Physical and mental activity are ways that I cope.
Staying busy has always been a must for my coping, although sometimes I just veg out ans watch TV.
RestlessSoul
Well-Known Member
Relish the good days then. There’ll be more of those to come, I’m sure.
Sometimes it’s not our external circumstances that turn around, but our internal state or condition; a person who has been anxious for years can wake up full of serenity, sometimes for no discernible reason. Sorrow can sometimes turn to joy, not because anything outside has changed, but because something deep in us decides it’s time to put aside the black cloak we’ve wrapped ourselves in.
Trailblazer
Veteran Member
I really have no idea what is to come, only God knows, but I have one iron in the fire right now, so if God wills....
That is a bit too optimistic for me. My counselor told me I am a lot better at dealing with my anxiety but that I will always have anxiety.
I think I can become more serene but I don't think sorrow will turn into joy unless my circumstances change.
I've been feeling the dread a bit more as of late due to going through the changes (now post-menopause). My friends all went through this in their 40s; I'm late 50s and only hit menopause this past November.
While the usual physical aspects (namely hot-flashes) are a challenge, it's the psychological side of it that's surprising. It's amazing how just a dip in a hormone or two completely changes one's psychological landscape, which, in turn, seems to change one's outer world.
I mean, I realize from the biological perspective that my services are no longer needed in the reproductive arena, and so the body gets rid of what it doesn't need anymore, but sheesh, when the required mechanisms enter into retirement, they seem to take everything with 'em.
When I don't feel like having a meltdown at work (so far I've kept my cool), I just feel meh. I call it "meh-nopause". I think this is supposedly temporary until the brain rewires itself to adapt to the new biochemical environment; I hope so, anyway.
As far as coping with such things, I plan on pushing through with supplementation and no medical intervention right now (I don't do doctors unless absolutely necessary). Things as simple as lavender tea can help with the anxiety and angst. Ashwagandha is good too. I used to take an antidepressant on and off prior to this upheaval, but I'm not sure it would work with this, and, oddly enough, I don't think I really need it at this point as the blahs are not the same intensity (so that's a plus, I guess).
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Twilight Hue
Twilight, not bright nor dark, good nor bad.
I try to normalize dread and focus on my tasks while not getting upset about things when something dosent go as planned.
I also find Native American wisdom among other sage wisdom to be helpful in acknowledging that I'm not the one who is in charge, but rather it is the land is of which I am a part of , to which feelings of dread is a natural occurrence as the sunshine and rain is and it can do anything it wants with me.
It fascinates me a bit that the person we feel we are is so dependent upon chemicals in the brain, and how it can all completely turn at little notice.
I would get morbidly depressed when I was pregnant... I could feel it was chemical, I could verbalize it was chemical, but the consequences were still there.