I call it as I've experienced it. I've rejected patriarchal constructs that serve to influence my image of self and I managed to find a life partner for whom I've never felt pressured to dress a certain way. We also have a child together.
Which is I said it is up to you. If you feel doing what you need to do to get a mate is necessarily succumbing you are welcome to that view. Others may view it as adapting in order to achieve one's goal.
I will again reject the idea that the societal pressures for people to find mates and reproduce is a product of patriarchy - I will continue to reject it throughout our conversation.
Mindset. As a woman, I've never approached my reproductive choices as hinging upon my ability to attract a man. I've seen other options. For me, it's instilled a sense of confidence and an a better appreciation at times for independence.
Again you speak of yourself - I don't know you so I cannot speak of your circumstances that have caused or allowed you to believe you can reproduce without a man. What I am asserting is that whatever allows you to do this is likely not an option of the overwhelming majority of the world's women today - and it certainly was an option in the thousands of years of our worlds history.
I wanted marriage. I wanted to have a child with a spouse. But, I never felt like achieving that greatly hinged upon how successful I was at being aesthetically pleasing to a man. I always entered relationships concerned first and foremost as to how well our personalities and world views meshed.
You are now slowly slipping into this discussion something that has not yet been an issue. Again I will refer you to the OP where the idea was about giving woman the widest range of options with regard to potential mates. It had nothing to do with settling down and getting married. That of course happens after courting where each person gets to understand each other's personality, values, goals and character.
Few if any men ever married a woman or desired to have children with her on account of what she wore the day he met her - and I'm sure most women (even those who dress to please men) understand that.
A woman's happiness and goals do not need to hinge upon the acceptance and approval of men. A community is only as strong as its members. Though, there are marked benefits to diversity - a strong community relies on contributing members that care to contribute to its strength.
Unless her goals and happiness include having a happy relationship with a man.
I'm not sure I understand where you are going with the community thing.
Acknowledging patriarchal constructs does not translate to "blaming men".
It does since women wanting to attract men in order to reproduce with has nothing to do with patriarchy and yet you keep trying to shoe-horn it into our discussion.
Women (most of them anyway) have a biological desire to reproduce with the best man they can find. To give themselves as many options as possible they seek to make themselves attractive to as many men as possible - they know they will not want to have a relationship with all those men who are attracted to them just as they also know not all men who are attracted to them (physically) will want to have a relationship with them. But they are just trying to keep their options open (or even trying to have options) and there is no evil or self-disrespect in that.
As a feminist, I reject that anyone, male or female should defined by a society-prescribed concept of beauty. It's okay to reject the status quo and to be yourself. It's okay to accept the status quo, if it's meaningful to you.
This explains your desire to blame patriarchy. But anyway it doesn't take a feminist to agree that one doesn't have follow the dictates of society like a slave. But there is also no shame in being pragmatic and doing what needs to be done to achieve your greater goals.
It's not okay, in my opinion, for women to feel that they can't achieve their goals - be it to start a family or to get the job that they want - because they didn't dress a certain way. There's just so much wrong with this - and it's rooted not only in patriarchy but sexism and classism as well.
Well the world is a place with human beings in it. If a woman has goals she must also understand that other people also have their goals. So if she shows up shabby to a job interview and doesn't get the job even though she ticks all other boxes - she shouldn't feel like a victim. Her goal was to dress however she wants regardless of what anyone else thinks - and the job interviewer's goal was to find someone who took pride in their appearance and could represent the company brand well. So everyone is entitled to their goals and standards.
And lastly, since even in matriarchal societies women dress to impress men I still fail to see how patriarchy is the cause of women wanting to impress men - especially since men also do what they can to try and impress women (in fact men are expected to chase after women). Again it just feels like a convenient way to blame men for something that seems quite biological and evolutionary in its origin.
